Several years ago, I acquired the nickname Modelo Mike. Drinking in my neighbours yard, while my dog Yogi Bear ran around, I was surprised to hear them pull into the driveway. In the panic of the moment, I threw my beer into the woods. Only later, after drinking with them for several hours, did I sheepishly admit what I had done. I fished the beer (a Modelo) out of the woods and finished it off. Thus, the name Modelo Mike was born.

With Trump's tariffs coming into effect on Mexico in particular, I am afraid that my hard-earned nickname will no longer be affordable to me or my neighbors. I am starting this GoFundMe to offset the targeted economic hardship which will no doubt befall me. If you have absolutely nothing better to do, please donate so that I may continue to be known as...Modelo Mike.