Help with Miranda's Surgery Costs.

Welcome

Hello, I’m Miranda.  I am a transgender woman. I'm working toward getting the necessary medical treatments for my gender dysphoria and bring a congruence to my life.

I have been waiting decades to get to this point and I am here to appeal for your help to (1) take time to spread this message and (2) contribute to this fundraiser to allow me access to the medically necessary surgeries I need, to align my body with who I am.  

Yet it reaches beyond myself. It impacts my spouse and our 3-year-old son, who has global developmental delays.  He works hard and is so kind and giving and he still struggles.  We won’t ever compromise on his care.  Yet we do have medical expenses for myself and my spouse and in that we have been sacrificing as much as we can, while still getting the minimum care.

I have made formal appeals to my health insurance company, yet they have denied me coverage for these necessary steps.  I will continue to appeal, in hopes the health insurance industry will move into the present understanding that these surgeries and therapies are life-saving.  But it may be a fool's errand.  So I must look for other avenues.


Breakdown of how your donations will be utilized:

I have been doing this life alone for too long and I need some help.

Here is how the funds would be utilized:

Facial feminization surgery____$9700
          *Chin Shave__________$4000
          *Lip lift_______________$3000
          *Anesthesia__________$2700
Tracheal Shaving________________$4500
Top Surgery_____________________$8350
Speech therapy_________________ $1500
Electrolysis____________________$10,000

Total cost__________________$34,500.00


Other expenses include (1) hormone replacement therapy and, given I am largely bald on top of my head and that is unlikely to change, (2) wigs or hair replacement surgery, but that is an expense separate from this fundraiser.

What is Gender Dysphoria?

Gender Dysphoria , in DSM-5, is defined as significant distress or impairment related to a strong desire to be of another gender, which may include desire to change primary and/or secondary sex characteristics.  (The DSM-5 is the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, a manual published by the American Psychiatric Association to diagnose mental conditions.)

Complications of Gender Dysphoria:

People experiencing gender dysphoria might refuse to take part in life’s activities, due to pressure to dress in a way that's associated with their sex or out of fear of being harassed or teased and even injured or worse. Gender dysphoria can also impair the ability to function at work, resulting in unemployment. Relationship difficulties are common. Anxiety, depression, self-harm, eating disorders, substance abuse and other problems can occur.
 
People who have gender dysphoria also often experience discrimination. Access to health services and mental health services can be difficult, due to fear of stigma and a lack of experienced providers.

Adolescents and adults with gender dysphoria before gender reassignment have higher instances be of suicidal ideation, suicide attempts and suicide. According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, more than 40 percent of transgender individuals in the U.S. have attempted to suicide. That’s about 10 times the national average


What is medically necessary?

The World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH ) is an international, interdisciplinary, professional association founded in 1979.  It is devoted to the understanding and treatment of individuals with Gender Dysphoria.  Gender identity is for every human, is developed in early childhood, and is thought to be firmly established in most people (transgender or not) by age 4.  Yet some transgender individuals may remain somewhat fluid for many years. For others, conditions specific to individual lives may constrain a person from acknowledging or even recognizing any gender dysphoria they may experience until they are well into adulthood.   

I have experienced all of the complications listed above.  I have also experienced all aspects of understanding my gender, from early recognition of my difference, to it being repressed and lost due to intense life traumas, until I was able to reconnect with it in the past several years. 

WPATH published opinion is that “based on clinical and peer reviewed evidence that gender affirming/confirming treatments and surgical procedures, properly indicated and performed as provided by the Standards of Care, have proven to be beneficial and effective in the treatment of individuals with transsexualism or gender dysphoria. Gender affirming/confirming surgery, also known as sex reassignment surgery, plays an undisputed role in contributing toward favorable outcomes. Treatment includes legal name and sex or gender change on identity.”

My Personal Journey:

To put it mildly, there have been many roadblocks in getting here and there are many still to come.  Yet, bafflingly, I have not given up.  I can empathize that many experience the difficulty in asking for help, as this is difficult for me.   

From as early as age 5, I felt something was different about me.  And like every innocent child, I had a curiosity and wonder about this world without self-judgement.  However, just three years later I was sexually abused by someone who should have known better.  I literally lost my innocence at age 8.  I lost my sense of self-worth and that day I realized I was alone in the world. This informed my life for almost 40 years.  Despite that, when I moved into puberty (age 11 and older) I still held onto the knowledge that I was NOT who I was supposed to be. Yet in the era I grew up, I didn’t have the environment of support or the ability to believe I could be supported, or even a full understanding of what was going on in me. This is notwithstanding firmly telling myself, “When I grow up I will become a woman,” in the vein that I wouldn’t have any true say in my identity until I was no longer living under my parent’s roof.   However some rather pronounced traumas in my high school years and parts of my true female gender that were condemned, when I mistakenly allowed them to be seen, caused me to push it all back down to protect it from further harm.  My plate was full with the fallout from the high school traumas and the difficulty my parents and I had in understanding each other.   After decades of struggle, seeking external validation and constant thoughts about whether I should even be in the world or not, some rather intensive therapy with hard talks with all these parts of me, I realized I had been fighting against myself.  So I finally decided to just trust myself.  That may not seem big, yet trusting myself is paradigm shifting.  

In part, I was able to connect to my own innocence again by watching our newborn child.  He is only three and half at the time I am writing this and obviously he won’t understand this yet.  In viewing his innocence, his love and how much work he puts into trying to make his way in this big, big world and how overwhelming that can be with his global delays, he helped me reconnect to the innocent child that has been in me, crying out to be heard and seen and love unconditionally.  I could no longer push that part of me away.

Current state of things:

As of late, the depression and anxiety associated with my gender dysphoria has been more pronounced.  I look into the mirror and struggle with what I see, having to try extremely hard not to speak unkindly to myself.  The body I see does not represent who I am.  Externally, my appearance is very male and, though it is hard to say this, even when I am trying to present as female I see the body that disgusts me.  I generally try to avoid looking at myself.

There is definite anxiety and fear over the threat of discrimination, harassment and physical violence, including the potential of being another transgender fatality statistic.  That is a fear I have for myself, but for my spouse and child more.  It seems that we exist in a very divisive time.  I want to do all that I can to just live an unassuming life, to be the gender I was born to be: female.  I want to do all I can to protect my family from harassment and discrimination. 

This life will always have its challenges and our child will have to deal with them, but I am hoping he will retain his innocence and knowledge that he is loved unconditionally for as long as possible.  He has enough challenges as it is.   And my spouse has her own challenges to deal with, the details of which are for her to hold.

Financially we have expenses we are trying to save for.  Yet at the present time I am the only one able to provide the income.  Our 3 year old needs constant care (it’s way more than a full-time job) and his expenses are enough on their own with physical, speech, occupational, and feeding therapy.  He needs supplies and has his own medical procedures we are waiting on.  Additionally, we are unable to have children naturally so the hope is to adopt a second child.  That process has its own expenses.  And my spouse, after sacrificing so much of her personal journey over the past ten years, is hoping  to return to school which will allow her to return to work outside of the home (hopefully working with children like our son).  All of these are valuable needs.

Emotionally, we all need some support.  The journey my child, my spouse and myself are going through individually and as a family remains an uphill battle.  We are happy and blessed on many levels, but we do not have much respite on these journeys as most of the extended family lives far away or has health issues of their own.  

Instinctually, with echoes of 40 years of living informed by trauma, there’s a voice that says: “Give up this journey, Miranda!”

Yet there is a child in me that was abandoned for too long; a child that needs to be given the freedom to be her authentic self.  This is the same energy I see when I look at my 3 year old, wanting to give him whatever he needs to thrive and be his true self, without judgement.  This is what I provide for my spouse as well.   All this may be “pie in the sky”, too idealistic thinking for my spouse, our son or for myself.  But how can I choose any differently?  

(Left to Right: Me Before, Me in early Transition, Me Before with Family)


This is a lot of information.   But please give this some thought and please help myself and our family by donating to this necessary cause.

Thank you.

Miranda Solveig