Hi everyone, my name is Amanda Bender, and I’d first like to say that my family means everything to me. My mom Michele & I have been blessed to live with, and share my grandparents' home for the last 32 years. After my parents got divorced, my Papa Augie & Grandma Clara welcomed us into their home with open arms, and *luckily* never asked us to leave. My mom, being a single mom, worked full time, so my grandparents played a very important role in my life. They didn’t HAVE to, but they did. So while I was a child of divorce, I also grew up in a home where I saw two people, so in love, always choosing each other, and not just in the great times, but through cancer, heart surgeries, disagreements…& their love never wavered.

In 2020, my grandmother broke her hip and had to have surgery, which required rehab at a nursing facility during COVID lockdown. Unfortunately, due to neglect, my grandmother became very ill and almost lost her life. As a family, we decided we could better care for her at home. My grandma, being 91, had a hard time recovering, and while she tried, she’s been bed-bound ever since. Over the last 4 years, I’ve watched my mom step up and become a 24-hour caregiver. No days off. No complaints. We started taking shifts; she’d do the daytime, I’d do the nighttime. Meanwhile, my papa stopped sleeping in his bed and started sleeping right next to my grandma’s hospital bed in the living room in his recliner. They’d hold hands as they fell asleep every night. It was like watching the movie The Notebook in real life, such a beautiful thing to witness. Even as my grandma started to forget things and started getting confused, my Papa was always there to calm her nerves and encourage her, to tell her she’s beautiful and that she’s doing great.

A few months ago, out of seemingly nowhere, my grandfather started feeling sick, and like a whirlwind, suddenly we were caring for two people on Hospice. Papa Augie, a man who was just convincing me to let him drive himself to the store, looking under the hood of my car, and climbing on ladders at 94, was suddenly unable to eat, became extremely frail, and was nearing the end of his life. I’m lucky to have been able to help care for him in his final days, especially after everything he’d done for me my entire life. He always took care of people, never said no, always lent a hand. If he could help, he was going to help. He would fix anything that needed fixing. He brightened every room he was in and left a lasting impression on everyone he met. Sadly, my grandfather passed about a month ago, and things have been really hard. My grandma’s dementia is at a place where we haven’t told her he’s passed away. We don’t want to upset her and break her heart every time she asks for him, which is often, but that’s to be expected after being married for 74 years.

My family is still in the middle of grieving, and unfortunately, our hot water tank and furnace desperately need to be replaced. I have been on disability from a work injury for quite some time, my mom can’t pick up a post-retirement job because she has been here caring for my grandma, and of course, my grandma is on social security. After funeral costs and being on a fixed income, we just don’t have the ability to come up with that much money, and last week the house thermostat was reading at 63 degrees inside. We have a space heater and many blankets for her, but can’t hold off much longer, as the weather is beginning to change. I know times are hard for everyone, and I’m grateful if you even read down this far. I can’t financially help right now, but I made a promise to Papa Augie that I was going to take care of my grandma and mom, and right now, this is the best I can do. I feel guilty even asking for help, but ANYTHING you can donate would be so appreciated and help lift a big burden off of my mom, who is trying her best to grieve the loss of her father and also care for her mother who is on Hospice. She would never ask for help, but much like my grandparents, would give the shirt off her back to a stranger, and I just want to help ease her stress during this already difficult time and keep my grandma warm and comfortable this winter. Even if you can’t donate, please consider sharing this post. Thank you all for your well wishes, support & love. Thank you for reading.