Help Merlin Ocean with a first chance at life

Hi, my name's Merlin Ocean. I'm a 19 year old that was born and raised in Lincoln County Oregon. I was born to life-long addicts, and raised by my single mother who suffers from multiple mental illnesses. My mother's strongest talent was always knowing the right people. She built me a support group to do what she could not. Her Ex-fiancé inspired me at 3 to take an interest in cooking, and my mother nurtured that into a lifelong passion. At 8 I got a Step-father, who I now know to have had a lifelong methamphetamine addiction that he kept from even my mother. There really was a hole in daddys arm where all the money went. The three of us lived in a 23 foot trailer for my 11th year with 16 parakeets, a dog, barely any heat, and my bed wasn't large enough for my body.  I grew up with no parental guidance, forcing me to find my own way through poverty, social interaction, and all other personal issues. I've struggled my whole life with feelings and emotions making my circumstances all the more influential. At 12 my mom admitted she had given up and the absolute only rule was don't bring the cops home, anything goes. I grew to see nothing in either of my parents, no support or success, and by 15 my teen angst won out. I got my first job cooking where my mother was quitting as a dishwasher and moved in with a better off friends' family. I also transferred out of town for high-school at this time and spent 12 hours a day attending school and traveling. I moved to a better job making more money with better opportunities and eventually my parents begged and demanded enough to have me move back in. That was my first mistake in a cycle of escaping and returning to be used and mentally abused. At 16 I found my fiancée, and lived split between her mothers' home and my own. When I would return to my parents house things would only be worse. Less money and more drugs slowly rotted my childhood home my parents became physical and open with their drug use. My lifestyle strayed towards passion and away from reality without the grounding force of anyone to answer to. I cared nothing about school because I was already successful, and to me it was everything being ahead of my parents. I spent time cooking or driving around in my convertible with the love of my life. I wanted to be a teenager what can I say? Because of this, I accidentally handed my parents another piece of leverage. Dropping out became their idea when they were in danger of dealing with a truancy officer so rather than control me they withdrew me to give me more fake freedom. I left them again, this time to be a roommate in a hasty situation that ultimately crumbled due to drug use as well. At this point I was a full fledged adult, and my parents' divorce began. I had finally left them behind me, but after six months my mother contacted me with 38 voicemails detailing a complete breakdown. She ended by telling me goodbye. Naturally I called in sick to work and went to check on my mother. Donald had left Lydia and ruined everything with his drugs. That was the painting handed me. I left one drug den for another, and began helping piece together my mom's life. Rent was a year behind, all utilities were shut off, and every inch of the property was in disrepair. This was also the beginning of the COVID-19 pandemic. The situation was impossible, and only worsened. My job became sporadic, and my mother started to reassociate with my step father instead of continuing the separation. She chose him over me, which ended with Lydia attempting to strangle my childhood friend and roommate, and Donald chasing me through the house he no longer legally inhabited with a shovel. This was the side of the curtain that had stayed hidden from me. Until now, I trusted my family and believed in everyone's humanity. My world view was based in lies. I had given my mother everything, burned almost every bridge, and ended up leaving with the clothes on my back into homeless unemployment during a worldwide shutdown. I lived once more with my fiancée and her mother, now as an adult male failure, until I found live-in work for a time and I was able to purchase a vehicle with my money. At the beginning of the pandemic I was pursuing my GED, and testing started the first week of shutdown. Currently, I live in my unregistered uninsured Kia with a friend in his mid 20s. We're both unemployed, and we have almost nothing. I know how to take care of myself, I only need a chance to prove it. I can't do anything being crippled by my surroundings everyday. I'm only asking for help to start on flat ground, some boots to pull the bootstraps of so to speak. We would really love to have real beds and be able to take a shower without breaking the law. Thank you for at least taking the time to read my life story even if you can't help I hope to open eyes to the reality of how crushing circumstances can be for anyone anywhere.

Donations

  • Thomas Beare 
    • $100 
    • 1 mo
  • Anonymous 
    • $500 
    • 1 mo
  • Anonymous 
    • $50 
    • 1 mo
  • Cristina Clerico 
    • $50 
    • 1 mo

Organizer

Merlin Ocean 
Organizer
Yachats, OR
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