Hi, I'm a disabled trans girl/enby and I desperately need help to survive.

Due to an issue beyond my control with my Universal Credit my claim was recently closed and I am currently looking at about £1500 of lost income/debt as a result, and because I've been without my disability payment (PIP) for a year and a half now (I am in the process of appealing this) I have barely a dime to my name, no savings, no overdraft - even before my UC claim was closed I was planning to make a fundraiser as I barely had enough each month to survive on in poor conditions.

Last week I found out my Universal Credit claim had been closed early last month, for which I was not once notified about the situation. It was closed because I had apparently not accepted my commitments though I am near certain that I did so, which means there must have either been a technical issue or a memory issue due to my severe ADHD which I am not medicated for (I've been waiting for titration for over half a year). The kicker though is that despite knowing about my ADHD and my disabilities, I was never notified or contacted about the issue, that my commitments hadn't been accepted and that my case might be closed if I did not do so immediately, so I had no way to know there was an issue and no way to avert the situation.

I have since reapplied and have requested reconsideration but I believe compensation is both unlikely and would not come soon enough for me to pay for rent, bills, and food. Rent of £660 is due in 12 days and right now I cannot pay any of it so I am going to be at high risk of homelessness again. On top of that due to the timing of the claim closure they want me to pay back last month's payment which is about £900. Right now I'm not going to be able to afford the bare necessities of food for the month let alone everything else, I have £120 and that's it, with no overdraft, and this will go down rapidly when the bills on direct debit pay out for the month.

As I mentioned before, even before this more immediate situation I lost my disability payment in march 2024 and have been fighting to get it back ever since - that was supposed to be resolved over a month ago but the tribunal needed to be adjourned and so I am back to waiting without knowing when I can start living again. My savings ran out from this what, 3 months ago or so? Since then every meal needs to cost £1 or less, which if I were able bodied would be much more manageable however it is a rarity that I am able to cook from scratch and batch cook, so a large portion of my diet these past few months have been cheap instant noodles and I believe I have become malnourished because of these conditions. On top of that the financial stress from everything, not knowing when it will end, being stuck in survival poverty mode has taken a massive toll on my mental health, taken me into some of the darkest spots I've ever been in where self-harm and suicidality are constant 'companions', I desperately need to be able to live and not just survive: it's slowly killing me.

Please help me however you can, I chose a goal of £2000 because about £1500 or more needs to go to immediate costs and sudden debt, and the remaining amount and anything extra if it's raised will go towards helping me get out of this survival hell, allowing me to afford nutritious food and essentials and look after myself.

A stretch goal of sorts for me if we raise enough is I really want to get back into streaming, sharing my joy and making people smile, it's always been a big boon to my mental and social health but since I lost my PIP I've been too crushed to continue on top of the extra cost of streaming simply not being something I can justify. I've been getting involved in speedrunning silksong and I'd really love to share that with any of y'all that are interested

Thank you for reading and for any support you're able to give, even sharing around means a lot ♥