Help Me Stay On Track From A Recent Racist Attack

Hello,

My name is Zaya H. Kuroda-Grauer and I am a black, multiracial, artist and student wanting to pursue a Master's degree in counseling, social work and mental health. I want to focus my concentration on social justice and advocacy for marginalized groups of people, especially BIPOC individuals as that is something very close to my heart. Last summer of 2022 I saved up all I could, packed up everything I had, and moved cross country from New Jersey to Santa Fe, New Mexico to attend grad school at the Southwestern College and New Earth Institute. I thought I had found my dream school and program but unfortunately I was very wrong.

Being the only black student (and only black woman) at SWC, I faced extreme racism and sexism and was the target of multiple attacks from faculty who were supposed to be teaching me and helping me grow as a student. I was tokenized and made to feel as if I did not belong or deserve to be there like my white classmates did. One incident, in particular, was extremely traumatizing and upsetting for me. I was the only student out of 5 other (white) classmates whose grade was lowered by 15 points because we would not read the racist and xenophobic material that our professor demanded us to for class. After speaking out against this professor (who was a white man) for targeting, retaliating and discriminating against me, I was attacked. Last week this same professor came to my place of work and physically assaulted me as well as screamed at me and verbally harassed me for filing a discrimination case against him with the school. My coworkers who were thankfully there and witnessed what he did to me were eventually able to keep him away from me and get him to leave off school premises. After this most recent incident of hate, I have been left feeling scared, depressed, hopeless and unsafe as I don't know if this man will retaliate or look to hurt me again.

This was not the grad school experience I wanted or dreamt about. I never imagined I would be physically attacked for just trying to get the same treatment as the rest of my classmates. After lots of thought, and consideration for my own safety, I have decided to withdraw from this program and pursue my Masters elsewhere as well as leave NM as it has become a dangerous and unsafe environment for me.

I want to become a counselor because I want to help people like me. I want to be a safe space for POC, queer and LGBTQ+ individuals, marginalized groups of people and just anyone that feels lost, oppressed or like there is no hope for them. It is hard to be 'othered' and faced with constant hate for just being you, but I want to help others understand that they are beautiful and have so much to offer to this world. I want to be someone that advocates for others' mental health and happiness, but that also means advocating for myself.

I am struggling to find the funds to relocate out of NM and re-enter into another Master's program, as I spent all of my funds to move out here and pay for tuition. Any donation or support would mean the world to me and make a huge impact on my life and my future whether it's $1, $2 or $10. Any little bit helps me get closer to moving to a safe environment and pursuing my dream. This has been one of the most disheartening experiences of my life, but I don't want to give up just yet. Thank you for reading this far and listening to my story.

I humbly ask for your support.

With love and hope,

Zaya