Help Me Settle My Ex Into Assisted Living and Move

I have been living with my ex-husband for years as a caregiver because he has a rare autoimmune disease that affects his lungs, sinuses, kidneys and other parts of his body (Wegener's Granulomatosis). Two weeks ago I was out and ge calls me saying he did not feel well and that his face was numb. I rush home and he is pale and sweaty. He tells me he had been throwing up and that he had almost blacked out. I take his temperature (orally) and it barely even registered on the thermometer.  I ask him if he wants to go to the ER and ge says no. Within an hour, this episode passes and he is back to normal. He even ate a large dinner.

Two days later Intake him to a scheduled doctor appointment. I mention what had happened and the doctors examines him further. One of his eyes is larger than the other. He suddenly starts saying his face is feeling numb again. Since this office building was attached to the hospital, they put him in a wheelchair and take him down to the ER.

To make an even longer story short, they do a CT on his head and it shows he has been having some TIA strokes, possibly for quite a while (which would explain some problems with memory he had been having over the past 6 months or so). They admit him to the hospital.

In the hospital, they do an MRI which shows he has three cerebral arteries that are very blocked (70% or more). Eventually they put him on Plavix and blood thinners and send him home with physical therapy and a home health nurse to visit and evaluate.

After about a week of various visit of home health care, I am in bed one night (Tuesday) reading and he comes stumbling in, pulling on his shirt, saying his face is numb again. This time I call 911 and they take him to our local hospital (we live in a small town) where they do CTs. All of a sudden he starts bleeding copious amounts of blood. It scared him and it scared me. They call to transfer him to a much larger hospital an hour and a half away. They finally get the bleeding to stop so we both calm down. They transfer him to the new hospital.

Once there and settled in they do more tests and find he has a small hemorrhage in his brain now too. I ask them to send him to a facility for Physical therapy/occupational therapy/speech therapy in order to transition him to Assisted Living (after many many phone calls with the administration of the facility, we found it is much, MUCH easier to do it this way than for him to come home and then have me try to place him myself.)

So now I have to move myself. I cannot afford the place I am in on only my tiny income (I get SSI due to my Chronic Myelocytic Leukemia). I cannot handle my ex now with all these new complications and maintain my own health. I currently have $20 to my name because of all the running  to hospitals, ERs, doctor appointments, etc. 

And it’s not over yet. I still have to go back and forth to his facility (20 miles) and deal with getting him transitioned. I need to visit apartments for myself and talk to people. Unfortunately it seems all low-income places around here have waiting lists! I have to find somewhere to live before my landlord kicks me out. I have my own doctor appointments.

I need help. Urgently. I cannot do this on my own.

Thank you for your help. I feel I am always so needy and it makes me feel horrible.
  • Anonymous 
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Organizer

Carol Karbowiak Gilbert 
Organizer
Celina, OH
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