Hello all, I am asking for help for dogs even more so than fo rmyself.

I have been struggling with an injury to my hip since 2019, and trapped living with my abusive narcissistic 'family' ever since. When threatening me and trying to hurt me fails to feed their egos, they both go after my dog to force my 'obedience'. We are not safe. We cannot gro wor heal here, becuase our abusers do all they can to interrupt, disrupt and sabotage any movements forward for me- all while punishing me fo rNOT moving forward the way they dictate I am 'allowed' to for their satisfaction. I made my dog a promise the day I brought her home that I would protect her and give us a good life, one where we'd never get hit again, never get thrown into a cage for not being pleasing to someone who hurt us, one where we'd able to both sleep in peace and not worry about what petty thing might set some immature jerk in to a blind rage liek a drunk toddler just because they didn't get their way at the expense of my well-being, and where Siggi would be healthy, happy, loved, and free to just be a dog that gets taken care by good people and not have to be hyper-aware of any and all possible dangers of someone's emotional state turnign into acts of senseless unprovoked abuse. I need some help to make that happen.

In order to leave this situation, I need to get the money together to pay down the debt on my vehicle as well as be able to keep making the payments to my lawyer as the legal case against the former employer who caused so much damage in 2019 when I was first injured. As we know, the legal system moves at a snails pace at times, but my abusive family likes to scream at me about how I cost them so much money and nothing is even happening as though if they scream at me it's goingto speed things up and get her money back. I get gaslit, guilt tripped, spat on, shoved, ignored, screamed at for things that never happened or called a liar because my mother only listens to me so she can find one word or phrase she can twist and use as an excuse to scream at me within inches from my face and tell me what I said when nothing she's so enraged over was even said at all; she spreads lies about me to anyone who will listen to paint herself a victim and has done so since I was 6 years old. Any attmepts to correct this behavior is met with violence and financial manipulation; her biggest defense and excuse for her abusive behaviors is that 'it's my money so I will do whatever the F*** I want to you!' or to use my past and my PTSD & mental health as excuse for her abuse adn lies and malicious attacks on me, claiming that my traumatic lived experiences were all things I or chestrated as a way to ruin HER life, when 99% of what I went through had NOTHING to do with her at all and she cannot/will not take accountability for her own behavior. She uses her own past experiences of being bullied to be an even bigger bully to anyone she wants to feel like she's better than, but if anyone gives to her what she gives out THAT's wrong- but if she's doing it it's supposed to completely validated and accpeted as her 'right to do'.

If you have ever had to endure narcissistic abuse, you exactly how nonsensical their mentality is, how they twist everything to be all about themsleves and to play the victim in the chaos they create as though your very existence is an attack on their lives and you should be so sorry and grateful that they 'allow' you to live at all- in constant instability, in constant fear, in constant uncertainty, in constant hyper vigilance waiting for the enxt raised fist or thrown object or the next time you have to fight back for someone who cant fight for themselves (like a child or pet), and how trapped and helpless they NEED you to believe you are because anything else isn't in line with their delusions and if you deviate then you're going to be 'dealt with' until you comply...

I have to get out of here. I have to get me and the dogs out ASAP. The dogs have been through more than enough fear & neglect in tehir brief lives that htye never deserved from people they just try to love and trust but get ignored by or hit by or yelled at from; I have had more than enough

Since I was 5 years old, the only ' worth ' she had for me was about how much money it cost to just feed me and how I wasn't worth it. By 6 years old I knew all too well what "150-260% below poverty line" meant, and started having anxiety attacks about money and asking fo rhelp or for my basic needs to be met. I can't heal when I'm drowning in palpable toxicity. Siggi and Wylie cannot heal or rest peacefully when they are 'home', and god forbid one has an accident because 'her husband' cares more about watching TGV than another living creature who has been signaling their need to relieve themselves for 30 minutes- his response is to hit them, scream at them, slam doors and yell about 'the stupid damn dog just HAD to make a f****** mess! Why do they do this to me!' as though its a dogs purpose or fault for his neglect?!

Both of the abusers like to loudly complain about the price tags on feeding me as well for feeding BOTH dogs- that's right! The resentment and spitefulness extends even to their own pets- along with the love bombing and gaslighting! One moment its shouting and slamming things and making threats at the dog, the next is being cuddly and cutesy and pretending to be nice.... just to be mean and shout at Siggi again within the next 20 minutes while Wylie curls up and tries to remain unseen because he's afraid he's gonna hit again. They complain about pets they don't even take care of and barely pay attention to.

He refuses to clean anything, let alone bathe a dog that he complains is filthy and smelly and gross- but is ok with threatening to shoot or kick or throw! She uses my mental health damages and diagnoses as any form of excuse for her abuse and mallice and claims that I just make everything up because I have PTSD and depression- so therefore obvisouly that means I'm delusional, schizo-affective, clepto, and have such raging bad short-term loss I can't recall what she said or did 20 seconds ago much less everythign from the last 27 years, too?

When threatening me with her false accustations fails to get a respose out of me, she goes after my dog. When in sulting me doens't get me to fly off the rails like she does over me jsut sayign anythgin at all that's not even about her, she starts projecting her hatefulness & resentment at my dog and blaming Siggi for anything to do with money; calling my dog a moochwhile looking dead at me, then acting liek I wasn't even there and telling me I didn't hear her correctly {from two feet away} and that I'm lying about her to her now- and a money pit and 'stealing all her money with living here rent free and never helping out'- allow me to clarify here:

My mother doesn't wash her own dishes, or clean the kitchen after dirtying every possible pan to make ONE thing, stacks up empoty cans and trash all over the countertops and never cleans the bathroom- just ot scream at me fo r'being a slob' when i am the only one who cooks, cleans, cares about the dogs, and takes care fo my own problems or messes alone since i was 8 years old and never asks fo rhelp in doing anything because i just get ignored anyway or told to do it myself - everytime she isn't purposely shoving me aside to take over when all I asked for was if she could hand me soemthing or lift soemthing I couldn't reach without falling over; insists she's the only one who knows how to do anything bercause I would obviously just f*ck it all up without her or can't be trusted to do anythign alone, and when she's done purposely doing things wrong and just makign a bigger mess for ME to clean up after without any help from her, she just screams at me & blames me for that, too, with the line of "well if you're so perfect then STFU and leave everyone alone! You're always being so nasty and devisive about e veryone and acting like sucha princess!' -- because according to HER, having to ask repeatedly that two other grown adults who are fully capable and able bodied to throw away their own trash an dnot leave messes for m e to clean up, askign them to wash their own dirty dishes instead of leaving messes for weeks or a month to fester and make me clean up, defending my dog from a drunk, spiteful and covert narcissistic grown man from trying to hit/kick/throw/hurt her because she was excited to see him or needed to go out to do her business when he just 'just didn't feel like dealing with it' is -according to my mother- acceptable behavior and Mark didnt do ANYTHIng WRONG against my dog, it's just me "projecting [my] daddy issues and looking for a fight because [I] just can't stand [her] being happy when [I'm] so miserable & alone"?! To them, anyone else but especially Me just generally existing at all when they wish I didn't is me being a b*tch- according to the Queen B**** herself!

I regularly get screamed and told to just leave everyone alone, have done since I was 8, but ya see- that's the problem apapretnly, because I do leave everyone alone, and that then, apparently, is a sure sign that I'm being squirrely & sneaky & plotting against her to ruin her life all the time??

Nothing makes sense and I am tired of defending myself for things I am not even doing, things that I never said or did, things someone else was responsible for, and for the things I DIDNT do wrong and that aren't her's to claim any vengence over let alone abject control over in a life that isn't hers- not to mention having to validate the fact that I am a grown woman with my own life and its NOT all about her, and that she does NOT in fact own me just because she makes more money than I do and I needed help after my life fell apart!!! I'm sick of being told to get a life of my own and then when I do, she attacks me fo rnot main g it all about her. I'm siuck of being asked what's wrong and her acting like she cares jsut ot be told that I'm only tryign to emotionally manipulate her and to shut up and grow up and "stop trying to make [her] feel sorry for [me]; stop being a whining f***** child all the time and act like a damn adult! Own [your] sh*t and fix [my] mess!" when all I did was talk about my own emotions and struggles and about how I'm exhausted- at no point ever did I ever say 'ma, fix this I don't wanna deal with it!' but that's all she hears- along with whatever else feeds her delusions of granduer and self-righteousness!

The abuse from my mother & her husband continues on whenever the dogs want attention or food or to be played with, anything that's entirely normal behavior for a dog, is met with threats of violence and/or violent actions carried out.

Both my dog, Siggi, and theirs, Wylie, have suffered physical abuse before and the only response that my mother & her husband have is to call them and me 'STUPID!' for having valid trauma from the extreme abuses & abandoment & instability they and I have suffered! I'm done. It's one thign to come after me- I have survived a lot, I knwo I cna take it- but you start going after my dog or any other animal to manipulate me and control me and try to bait me into an altercation that you'll claim was unprovoked because you get some right over my life or mind thanks to your salary?? NO YA DONT! I will not tolerate anymore, and neither will my dogs! I have far morethan enough of this.

I'm overwhelmed with dealing with the legal battle, managing my life and pain from my hip injury, struggling to find other avenues of employment and getting nothgin but dead air in return, trying to work on my goals and make a living with online work, caring for two dogs, along with having to play house keeper because neither abuser ever cleans the dishes or does the cooking, if I don't get around to washing everything because I'm in too much pain to keep trying to, I am then accused of "triangulating against them" and "purposely not washing JUST HIS things just ot be a b****!" out of "jealousy for [her] happy and healthy life and marriage"! WTF!!?? a coffee mug that looks just five other coffee mugs is just a bloody mug! How am I supposed to know whose is whose! I was just doing my best to help out, but nothing I do is ever enough!!! {the level of delusional self righteous crazy b.s. she projects onto me here is stressing me out so much I have to tip-toe every little thing or else one of them has a meltdown about anythign they can manage to think of and the constnat hyper-awareness of them is making me phsycially ill! Even just a WALMART COMMERCIAL SHE DIDNT LIKE gets ME screamed at for 20 mintues because somehow I was 'dictating whats in her head' just for not agreeing with her or not having any opinion at all?! it's a damn commercial- not an air raid I secretly ordered to invade Poland!}

If I ask for groceries or toiletries or something for the dogs food, they purposely don't get what I need to eat or get the wrong thing and don't care- but if she ever gets something HE doesn't liek she makes a huge fuss over it and rushes out to correct it immediately. She always ever so conveniently only 'forget' the grocery list whenever I've asked for something-just to get angry that I asked for anything -- EVEN WHEN THE ONLY REASON I ASKED AT ALL WAS BECUASE THEY BOTH PESTERED ME FOR DAYS TO TELL THEM IF I NEEDED ANYTHING FOR ME OR THE DOGS! They only ask so they can find an excuse to hurl abuse or ignore me anyway. If I'm sick and I cough one time into my shoulder from behind a face shield, He yells at me "could you NOT be coughing all over other people food and the kitchen!- Stop being gross, no one wants to deal with that!" But the only reason I got sick was because SHE was sick first days or a week prior and has been coughing on EVERYTHING without covering her mouth or washing her hands before SHE makes sure to touch all the food, SHE sleeps right next to him and is sitting right next to him coughing in his direction, and thats fine?! This is such targeted and immature bullsh*t, and I am so sick of it all! They legit do ANYTHING they can to try to force a conflict because they're bored and petty and vindictive over a life that they don't own and I need to get me and the dogs OUT!

Any and all donations are welcome! my nearest route to escape is still a 290-340 mile drive, between my boyfriend's place and my best friend's place (i'd be cohabitating along with my dogs between both locations). I need to be able to cover both dogs food and vet needs, and ensuring that the ownership of Wylie is properly transfered to my name- as well as ensuring Siggi's micro chip info isn't compromised because mymother has tried MANY TIMES to steal the information from me, even going so far as to dig through my things in my room when she thinks I won't notice and then tries to play cool when I catch her at it.

It's a huge mess I'm, I know, but I didn't get her eon my own- there was an excessive amoutn of unwanted and unwarranted help from outside of me that contributed to most of it and is leaving me to pick up the pieces.... and at least if I'm living with my dogs between tow places until i can my hip healed and case settled, then at least I'd know my dogs would be safe, cared for, loved, warm, healthy and fed, and most importantly NOT seperated from one another! I can't just leave Wylie alone in this house... he's pair-bonded to Siggi since the day they met and it's not right or fair to make him be alone ever again- especially not HERE with two mosnters who won't even walk or bathe him at the very least and who can't even be bothered to feed him a full amount! They use a SOUP SPOON to scoop his food and then complain that the dogs are always beggin and "couldn't possibly be THAT hungry"!

Tell me, who else could go 12 hours on ONE soup-spoon-sized serving (roughly 2 - 3 tablespoons worth) of something and a quarter cup of dry kibble that about as much nutrient value as cheap breakfast cereal and NOT be hungry all the time?! I would rather that I go hungry so my dogs can eat a good meal twice a day and have some snacks or treats; they don't deserve to suffer! I'm used to it, but even so, I am at the breaking point.

I need to