My hoarder roommate destroyed my house
Donation protected
A friend of mine claimed she had been cruelly booted from her apartment after thirteen years. I had once promised her she'd never be homeless. She asked me to keep that promise. I was planning to sell the house anyway. How bad could it be?
I'm a veteran. After Iraq, when the VA refused to help me for years because "women aren't in combat" my nightmares and panic attacks got so bad without treatment that I started having hallucinations. The nightmares came any time I closed my eyes. I had a friend tell me "I wasn't as much fun as I used to be before Iraq" and that she didn't care. (I didn't have a clue that I was experiencing PTSD symptoms.) Eventually, I started listening to those hallucinations and began cutting myself. It seemed to relieve some of the pressure. At some point I began experiencing headaches that blinded me and left me with flashing lights in my eyes. (I had gotten my bell rung a few times in Iraq, once by a mortar during a baytle.) I tried to kill myself to make it stop. It wouldn't be the first time. Too complicated to go into here, but I tried four times. I couldn't fight off the impulse, but I got better at fighting it. It took several years.
She *knows* this, but she regularly threatens suicide with some regularity. It's always tied with something she wants, so you're being blamed. I've confronted her. Each time she lashes out and attacks some more. I want to be free of her and get my cats away from her because she can't even be trusted with them. I have to beg and beg to get her to feed them.
I won't go into intervening details, but after months of horrible bad weather kept me from coming back to the house, I finally managed to make the trip, expecting I'd have to break down a few Amazon boxes.
Instead the front porch porch was filled with dozens of boxes. She'd said she couldn't pay her $477 electric bill because of "bills". And then came the water bill. The garbage bill will be horrendous. In just a few hours yesterday, I filled a whole big wheelie garbage can and two wheelie recycle bins. ETA: garbage company emptied it, I filled it again.
This came after the utility company at the NEW house suddenly corrected the fact that they'd been overcharging my tenant for months. The tenant paid reduced rent THIS MONTH of all months, and I had told Hoarder that IF she got this new apartment, she didn't have to pay rent this month. She was in fact, the only person living at my old house. The utilities are all hers.
The utillities at the new houuse soared---I hope, just for one month----to $577. I can do that in parts. At the old house, however, it's all her. Part of this is past due, but part of it is carelessness. She leaves lights on the kitchen, dining room, bathroom, and who knows where else all day and all night, even while she sleeps till four PM.
Anyway....
When I got inside the house I found a front porch HEAPED with dozens of Amazon boxes, plus bags and bags of ammonia-smelling dirty cat litter. I wound up taking out thirteen bags of trash from the front porch alone, most of it cat litter. After getting to the bottom of the boxes, I found TWO more bags of litter.
Inside the front door were two bags of dirty cat food cans, caked with rotting cat food. The living room floor was covered with dirty dishes and rotting fruit and fast food bags littered around "her" chair, which was actually my grandmother's chair that she appropriated. There was sticky stuff smeared on the floor, along with pop cans, tops of MY ice cream containers, and banana and orange peels. I counted at least four fast food bags and two flat little pizza type boxes, plus soda cans without number, dirty napkins, drifts of chips and crumbs, and those clear plastic take out containers. She always "joked" : "Oh, I hope you don't mind, but I ate this or that of yours, tee hee." The proof was in the wrappers and ice cream container tops. God only knows what I missed. I filled three bags of trash just from around and under that chair. She managed to get a stain on the chair, too.
In the side porch, the dirty and rotting cat food cans were stacked knee high. That represents months. Thank God it's still cold. Bags of rotting trash were everywhere, leaking on the floor. There was a full garbage can in the kitchen, plus empty wrappers, empty yogurt cups, old cat food cans, pieces of rotting food, packages of cheese under the piles, a broken cat water fountain that SHE had broken, wrapping paper from Amazon boxes, dirty silverware, old takeout containers, and wrappers from food covering, STICKING to the floor. The smell was indescribeable.
The parlor entrance was blocked by dozens of empty Amazon boxes piled at least waist high----but she can't pay the utilities! The kitchen sink was full of rotting food, blocked by rotting meat, and old food labels and smelled horrifying. I found a frying pan in my plate cupboard, with rotting chicken and bacon in it. The chicken was also covered with green mold. The dishwasher's tracks had somehow been ripped out, so the bottom rack sat on the bottom. HOW? Rotting meat lay dropped and smeared everywhere. The stove was covered with baked-on stains. Bottles of old milk were everywhere----one, dated December, sat on top of the fridge, so old that its contents were separated into layers with the top one being nearly clear. A sausage and a package of lunch meat were piled next to the fridge. The floor was smeared and covered with cat food can lids, yogurt containers, a bag of "frozen" chicken breasts (!) dirty crusted dishes, more half-full bottles of ancient milk, and spilled dry cat food. It crunched everywhere you walk.
There was dirty cat litter EVERYWHERE. I had to haul in jugs of clean litter, but cleaning up just to empty the caked litter boxes took hours. My cats' water dish was bone dry and dusty. There is actual cat shit on the wood floor in HER room. I told her to clean it up. She refused point blank. She claims she "fell." Or had the flu. Whatever her excuse, she seems to regard feeding cats as too much work. The rest of us with injuries know shit has to get done.
When I confronted her with it again the following day----"You're damaging my floors!" she responded with, "Get used to it, Laundry Maid."
She says she is ill and injured, but she refuses to go to any doctor or take any medication. I also noticed that her injuries affect ONLY her chores, never her hobbies. She has no problem fetching Amazon boxes from the mailman, but she can't or won't recycle those boxes. She knits and crafts for hours. but refuses to wash dishes. She has, in short, no problem making messes, but suddenly "falls" or "has the flu" when asked to clean up her own appalling messes. Maybe she feels sick because of the filth she lives in.
The reality is, lots of us are injured or sick, but shit still needs to get done. Taking care of animals is NOT optional. There is no excuse that works there for that. You have a pet, THEY get fed.
I frankly cannot do this on my own. I need help with all the bills she isn't paying---electricity, gas, water, and---irony!----garbage. The dishwasher needs to be fixed or replaced. I don't even know how much it will cost to hire help to clean out this pit. I will have to have special garbage services. I will have to replace things. I will have to get a dumpster, and those START at $500.
I rented a Uhaul to bring my cats home but will have to make another trip. That's going to be at least $166. It took me hours to clear a path, and I only caught two of the four. They eluded me by hiding under her piles of stuff. Electric is $477, part of which is past due. She especially resents utility bills. "I heard her say, "I don't mind paying my fair share of the utility bills, but not HALF. Not in winter!" What, exactly, is "fair", when two people were living in one house? Especially when one person foists all the chores onto the other person? Water is $67. I rented a storage locker in part for her crap. $170 a month. She has never said "Thank you" at any point. She buys stuff like brandy snifters instead of paying her bills.
I don't know how much it will cost to haul away the garbage, but the garbage can is heaped high again. She apparently hasn't taken it out in weeks. I thought I'd have to break down some Amazon boxes, clean a few litter boxes, then start organizing MY stuff. I don't even know WHERE my stuff is under the litter. I only started really grabbing my stuff the next morning. All that wasted time and money.
My hope is to clear the outstanding utility bills----gas, electric, water, garbage, storage-----and be able to hire people to help me clean and fix. Hopefully the dishwasher can be salvaged. She broke *something* there. God only knows what else she's done that I have not yet discovered. The floors will need to be scrubbed down at least. She had dirty cat litter scattered on my Persian carpets that I brought back from Iraq.
Thank for reading.
I'm a veteran. After Iraq, when the VA refused to help me for years because "women aren't in combat" my nightmares and panic attacks got so bad without treatment that I started having hallucinations. The nightmares came any time I closed my eyes. I had a friend tell me "I wasn't as much fun as I used to be before Iraq" and that she didn't care. (I didn't have a clue that I was experiencing PTSD symptoms.) Eventually, I started listening to those hallucinations and began cutting myself. It seemed to relieve some of the pressure. At some point I began experiencing headaches that blinded me and left me with flashing lights in my eyes. (I had gotten my bell rung a few times in Iraq, once by a mortar during a baytle.) I tried to kill myself to make it stop. It wouldn't be the first time. Too complicated to go into here, but I tried four times. I couldn't fight off the impulse, but I got better at fighting it. It took several years.
She *knows* this, but she regularly threatens suicide with some regularity. It's always tied with something she wants, so you're being blamed. I've confronted her. Each time she lashes out and attacks some more. I want to be free of her and get my cats away from her because she can't even be trusted with them. I have to beg and beg to get her to feed them.
I won't go into intervening details, but after months of horrible bad weather kept me from coming back to the house, I finally managed to make the trip, expecting I'd have to break down a few Amazon boxes.
Instead the front porch porch was filled with dozens of boxes. She'd said she couldn't pay her $477 electric bill because of "bills". And then came the water bill. The garbage bill will be horrendous. In just a few hours yesterday, I filled a whole big wheelie garbage can and two wheelie recycle bins. ETA: garbage company emptied it, I filled it again.
This came after the utility company at the NEW house suddenly corrected the fact that they'd been overcharging my tenant for months. The tenant paid reduced rent THIS MONTH of all months, and I had told Hoarder that IF she got this new apartment, she didn't have to pay rent this month. She was in fact, the only person living at my old house. The utilities are all hers.
The utillities at the new houuse soared---I hope, just for one month----to $577. I can do that in parts. At the old house, however, it's all her. Part of this is past due, but part of it is carelessness. She leaves lights on the kitchen, dining room, bathroom, and who knows where else all day and all night, even while she sleeps till four PM.
Anyway....
When I got inside the house I found a front porch HEAPED with dozens of Amazon boxes, plus bags and bags of ammonia-smelling dirty cat litter. I wound up taking out thirteen bags of trash from the front porch alone, most of it cat litter. After getting to the bottom of the boxes, I found TWO more bags of litter.
Inside the front door were two bags of dirty cat food cans, caked with rotting cat food. The living room floor was covered with dirty dishes and rotting fruit and fast food bags littered around "her" chair, which was actually my grandmother's chair that she appropriated. There was sticky stuff smeared on the floor, along with pop cans, tops of MY ice cream containers, and banana and orange peels. I counted at least four fast food bags and two flat little pizza type boxes, plus soda cans without number, dirty napkins, drifts of chips and crumbs, and those clear plastic take out containers. She always "joked" : "Oh, I hope you don't mind, but I ate this or that of yours, tee hee." The proof was in the wrappers and ice cream container tops. God only knows what I missed. I filled three bags of trash just from around and under that chair. She managed to get a stain on the chair, too.
In the side porch, the dirty and rotting cat food cans were stacked knee high. That represents months. Thank God it's still cold. Bags of rotting trash were everywhere, leaking on the floor. There was a full garbage can in the kitchen, plus empty wrappers, empty yogurt cups, old cat food cans, pieces of rotting food, packages of cheese under the piles, a broken cat water fountain that SHE had broken, wrapping paper from Amazon boxes, dirty silverware, old takeout containers, and wrappers from food covering, STICKING to the floor. The smell was indescribeable.
The parlor entrance was blocked by dozens of empty Amazon boxes piled at least waist high----but she can't pay the utilities! The kitchen sink was full of rotting food, blocked by rotting meat, and old food labels and smelled horrifying. I found a frying pan in my plate cupboard, with rotting chicken and bacon in it. The chicken was also covered with green mold. The dishwasher's tracks had somehow been ripped out, so the bottom rack sat on the bottom. HOW? Rotting meat lay dropped and smeared everywhere. The stove was covered with baked-on stains. Bottles of old milk were everywhere----one, dated December, sat on top of the fridge, so old that its contents were separated into layers with the top one being nearly clear. A sausage and a package of lunch meat were piled next to the fridge. The floor was smeared and covered with cat food can lids, yogurt containers, a bag of "frozen" chicken breasts (!) dirty crusted dishes, more half-full bottles of ancient milk, and spilled dry cat food. It crunched everywhere you walk.
There was dirty cat litter EVERYWHERE. I had to haul in jugs of clean litter, but cleaning up just to empty the caked litter boxes took hours. My cats' water dish was bone dry and dusty. There is actual cat shit on the wood floor in HER room. I told her to clean it up. She refused point blank. She claims she "fell." Or had the flu. Whatever her excuse, she seems to regard feeding cats as too much work. The rest of us with injuries know shit has to get done.
When I confronted her with it again the following day----"You're damaging my floors!" she responded with, "Get used to it, Laundry Maid."
She says she is ill and injured, but she refuses to go to any doctor or take any medication. I also noticed that her injuries affect ONLY her chores, never her hobbies. She has no problem fetching Amazon boxes from the mailman, but she can't or won't recycle those boxes. She knits and crafts for hours. but refuses to wash dishes. She has, in short, no problem making messes, but suddenly "falls" or "has the flu" when asked to clean up her own appalling messes. Maybe she feels sick because of the filth she lives in.
The reality is, lots of us are injured or sick, but shit still needs to get done. Taking care of animals is NOT optional. There is no excuse that works there for that. You have a pet, THEY get fed.
I frankly cannot do this on my own. I need help with all the bills she isn't paying---electricity, gas, water, and---irony!----garbage. The dishwasher needs to be fixed or replaced. I don't even know how much it will cost to hire help to clean out this pit. I will have to have special garbage services. I will have to replace things. I will have to get a dumpster, and those START at $500.
I rented a Uhaul to bring my cats home but will have to make another trip. That's going to be at least $166. It took me hours to clear a path, and I only caught two of the four. They eluded me by hiding under her piles of stuff. Electric is $477, part of which is past due. She especially resents utility bills. "I heard her say, "I don't mind paying my fair share of the utility bills, but not HALF. Not in winter!" What, exactly, is "fair", when two people were living in one house? Especially when one person foists all the chores onto the other person? Water is $67. I rented a storage locker in part for her crap. $170 a month. She has never said "Thank you" at any point. She buys stuff like brandy snifters instead of paying her bills.
I don't know how much it will cost to haul away the garbage, but the garbage can is heaped high again. She apparently hasn't taken it out in weeks. I thought I'd have to break down some Amazon boxes, clean a few litter boxes, then start organizing MY stuff. I don't even know WHERE my stuff is under the litter. I only started really grabbing my stuff the next morning. All that wasted time and money.
My hope is to clear the outstanding utility bills----gas, electric, water, garbage, storage-----and be able to hire people to help me clean and fix. Hopefully the dishwasher can be salvaged. She broke *something* there. God only knows what else she's done that I have not yet discovered. The floors will need to be scrubbed down at least. She had dirty cat litter scattered on my Persian carpets that I brought back from Iraq.
Thank for reading.
Organizer
Ginmar Rienne
Organizer
St. Paul, MN