to become a coach, in conjunction with becoming a Dove Oracle Priestess (level 2) through http://www.sevensistersmysteryschool.com
I’ve always been quite stubborn in insisting I can do things alone but I simply cannot. I need help. Help to get to the next level and develop/find my skills in which I was put on this earth to bring about in order to shed more love and light into this crazy world.
Below is a nutshell of how I’ve come to this and why I am so passionate about this work I’ll conclude with my intention moving forward.
I grew up in the midwest, went to Catholic school and did everything “right.” Pushing to get the best grades and excel in sports. I committed myself the same way in college: playing soccer at a division I school and graduating with a bachelors degree in nutrition. My dream growing up was to become a professional soccer player.
After college I moved to Berkeley, California with my partner at the time and two weeks later it ended rather abrubtly with an "I just can’t do this anymore.” I packed my bags and never looked back. This was the first time I was truly “out in the world” on my own away from the comfort of being close to home and having people to rely on. My sense of stability was shaken to the core. I walked down the streets of Berkeley with no place to stay, hardly any money, a suitcase in hand, and a fire in my heart. California held promises for me: that much I knew.
Despite not knowing a single person there, I eventually found my way. I worked in restaurants for a while with the hopes of changing the world with healthy organic food, which is still part of the picture, but not the whole story. I was still training for soccer on the side but this was around the time I noticed my health was progressively declining. My symptoms got worse and worse and I ended up in the ER one day: unable to ignore it anymore.
After some testing I was diagnosed with ulcerative colitis (a digestive autoimmune disorder similar to chron’s disease) : given some pills and sent on my way. I was told it would get worse as I aged and turn into colon cancer and would possibly have to get my colon removed and a colostomy bag put in if I did not take the medicine for the rest of my life because there was essentially “no cure.” What was the root cause I asked? It was unknown. This answer didn’t suit me, so right there and then started my search for health, balance and clarity.
I would get motivated, drink some bone broth and green juice and start over again and again. It always came in cycles, when the stress of life was too much I would get very sick and withdraw. I would read all the books, listen to podcasts, run up my credit card seeing holistic doctors, meditate, exercise, and do everything I could think of to cure myself. I was supported by loving friends and family members from home, but in a general sense, I felt completely alone and alienated in it all.
For the past 5 years of my life this went on. I would switch from job to job, and place to place, thinking if I could only get “there” it would be better. If I could only get enough money, the perfect job, the right space, the right boyfriend, etc, then I could finally focus and cure myself.
I’ve had over 10 different addresses in these past few years. Always running to the next thing, but essentially, I was only running from myself. Using substances or food to numb the pain and block out my deeper intuition. I was never quite staying in one place long enough to create a sense of community or open up to people in an authentic way and let them see my struggles and attempt to help me. I've silently suffered, never wanting to burden others. This was the only way I knew: pleasing those around me to gain acceptance and giving more of myself but never ruffling any feathers or letting others see my weaknesses.
Besides the digestive symptoms and wafts of depression that went along with having this label of a chronic Illness, the next development I started seeing was that that my hands were starting to shake, then sometimes tingle and go numb, then this traveled to my feet. In addition, I was becoming slightly forgetful, foggy and confused.
Im only 26 years old, so shaking, numbness, and dementia was not in the realm of "normal." I couldn’t quite keep it together anymore and recently had a panic attack about it all. I thought it was Lymes disease but what really this was all happening simply because I was lacking in essential minerals and nutrients over a long period of time.
I decided enough was enough and it was time to get serious, so with literally no where else to go, I went within. Enough with the sad story and onto the good stuff….
While waitressing this past winter a wonderful woman asked me about the feather necklace I was wearing around my neck and I casually said “well when my grandparents died a little while back I had these two ravens that would follow me around and I knew that it was them: I could feel them protecting me.”
I’ve always had this sense with birds, that they were guiding me: trying to show me how to fly to other realms and tap into my deeper wisdom and remind me where I was truly from. This woman urged me to take this course called the Dove Oracle Priestess training and my whole body tingled with excitement and a deep sense of knowing that this training was for me.
This course sparked something in me that I’ve been searching for all these years: that I was/am capable to move into a way of being in the world that I knew was true in my heart and not just keep it all in my head. It’s been helping me to come back to myself as I truly am: a cosmic goddess in a human body. Apart from sickness, pain, guilt and shame, I found that at my core I am pure love and light. As we all are. I just never fully believed it for myself, until now.
I’ve always wanted to help others throughout my life but never felt quite capable of it or knew how. Plus I was too busy “surviving" and repressing my emotions and feelings. Once I started taking this course, things began shifting in a big way. I felt like I could breathe again.
A few weeks ago, I was able to get a session with another magical woman who helped me cleanse my family bloodline and cut soul ties and contracts that I had inherited through generations and lifetimes. She prayed for the clearing of so many things that had been plauging me and my family (going back many, many generations) including digestive and heart disorders, scarcity and lack mindset with money, sexual abuse, anxiety, depression and other mental disorders, eating disorders and more.
I felt this immense energy lift out of my body and what I had been holding on my shoulders seemed to lift. I felt lighter: I felt new. Now I’m not saying everything is perfect and I am healed. But I know now I truly can be and that this disease has been a blessing in disguise.
I now am in a point where the only thing that matters to me is to expand my consciousness and deepen my healing in a way I can make this my life path and career and eventually have the mastery to heal others on a soul level and remind them of the goddess or god within themselves.
I’ve come to realize that every illness has a spiritual root. For me, the ulcers in my colon came from stress and perceived lack of stability and safety: and repressed emotions such as anger, shame and guilt. As I work through ways of releasing the doubts, fears, and insecurity though avenues such as dance and writing, I so badly want to continue with this work but I need help financially right now to get there. I’ve never been more ready or clear of my purpose in my whole life and I’m ready to jump off this scary but beautiful cliff but I need a little springboard.
Im sure things will evolve along the way but in this moment my intentions after these trainings is this: to help people heal their relationship with food, help heal those with PTSD and sexual trauma, help families and individuals heal their ancestral wounds, be a clear voice for the voiceless, be a bridge of ancient wisdom in todays' world, and emit goodness and love wherever I go.
I tried to do this alone once again, but the banks didn’t agree to fund these certificates to give me a loan and just maybe, I needed to do this. Regardless of the outcome: to learn how to use a deeper voice within me that I typically hide and to tell my story.
So here I am, putting it out there to the universe that I kindly ask and am now open to recieving support to expand my heart and soul to places I previously thought was impossible.
From the bottom of my heart, thank you for your support.
(August 1st is the deadline for the Dove Oracle Priestess training)**