As many of you know I recently went to retrieve a photo of my still born daughter from the hospital only to find the file had been purged, this has been truly devastating as I was finally prepared to see her after 13 years. Curious to see if she resembled her brother, ready to honor her at her upcoming birthday.

It feels as if the wound has been re-opened after many many years of pretending this never happened and stuffing down emotions, I'd like to begin to honor her existence. I carried her, I loved her and I'd like to carry her with me once again. In my journey to healing I'd like to purchase a cremation necklace made of gold so that I know it will never tarnish but as a single mother its just not within my budget at this time.

I do find this a little embarrassing but my love for her is stronger than any financial shame could ever be.

If you got this far, thank you.