A few months ago I thought I just had a back issue that would pass.

Fast forward to now and I’ve had two spine surgeries, and apparently my back decided it has its own personality… and it’s not a team player.

This isn’t just one problem spot either. My imaging has shown issues throughout my spine.

In my lower back, I have a recurrent disc herniation at L4-L5 (about 6 mm by 10 mm) causing severe nerve compression, plus another disc at L5-S1 that’s still pressing on nerves. There’s also a large fluid buildup from surgery (around 8 cm) sitting in my lower back.

On top of that, I was already dealing with inflammation and nerve irritation (arachnoiditis/nerve adhesions) in that same area—basically meaning the nerves are irritated and sticking together instead of moving normally.

And it doesn’t stop there—my neck also has a disc extrusion at C5-C6 (about 4 mm by 12 mm) that’s narrowing the space around my spinal cord, plus another disc issue at C6-C7.

So yeah… it’s kind of a full spine situation at this point.

Instead of bouncing back like last time, I’ve been stuck in this cycle of constant pain, nerve issues, and this really unsettling feeling like my spine is just… collapsing into my hips when I try to stand.

Super fun. 10/10 do not recommend.

Some days I can’t sit, can’t lay comfortably, can’t move without feeling like something is pinching, burning, or just straight up not right. Recovery this time has been nothing like it “should” be, and we’re still trying to figure out what the next step even is.

Because of all this, I haven’t been able to work or function normally. And life doesn’t really pause just because your spine decides to fall apart. Bills kept coming, and now we’re behind and facing the possibility of losing our home.

Which is honestly terrifying.

I hate asking for help. Like… really hate it.

But at this point, I’m out of options and trying to keep everything from completely unraveling while I deal with a body that won’t cooperate.

If you can donate, share, or even just help get this in front of more people, it would mean more than I can explain. Truly.

I’m still fighting to get better. I’m still showing up to every appointment, every scan, every next step—even when it feels like my body is working against me. I don’t know exactly what the outcome looks like yet, but I’m not giving up on getting my life back.

I’ve made it through two surgeries already… so yeah, I’m stubborn enough to believe I’ll get through whatever comes next too.

Thank you for being here.

—Lily