Help me give my angel a proper funeral please
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My angel, Mandy Lynn Moore, passed away at 8:18 am on Dec 29th, 2019.
We bought engagement and wedding rings together on Dec 12th. I was going to propose to her on New Years Eve. We were finally going to be married, because I was getting a raise and better benefits starting January 1st 2020. We were so excited about the future.
We had been together for 7 years, our anniversary was coming up in January. We were in love from the first day. Once she blurted out "I love you" just a couple weeks into our dating and quickly covered her mouth and apologized. I said it's ok, I feel the same way! We were cautious at first but for over 6 years we said we loved each other every single day. She meant everything to me. The only reason we didn't get married was because she was unable to work and on medicaid. If we married she would have my terrible, very expensive benefits instead.
Then on the 23rd she started to have some rib pain. We went to urgent care on the 24th (Christmas Eve) and they said she didn't have a fracture, but gave her some pain meds. Some percocet. She accidentally took a few more than she should have (she had a number of other conditions that made her system weaker than usual) and on the 26th I had to call the paramedics to get her to the hospital. At the Emergency Room they found she was in liver and kidney failure, probably due to Acetamenophin poisoning. In the ICU that night, they decided she had to have a liver transplant and I asked them to transfer her to Presbyterian St Luke's, where the team that had given me a liver transplant were.
At PSL, they determined that she was not transplantable. Her diabetes and A1C prevented them from operating. A strange thing happened, then: These were my doctors also, and I was told I had to go to the ER because my own numbers were off and I was very dehydrated. (I had been feeling a little unwell for a week prior.) I had to be admitted also, but to a regular room, not the ICU.
So for the next day and a half, I was upstairs in the hospital and she was downstairs below me, dying. I was allowed to go down and visit her and comfort her as best as I could. We hoped she would recover at first, but that became less and less likely. And so on the morning of the Dec 29th, I was in my hospital gown holding her hand and petting her hair. We were surrounded by life support machinery and she had lines in her everywhere. And at 8:18 am, her precious heart that I had sworn to always protect stopped beating.
Now I am lost and struggling to make her final arrangements.
Her wishes were to not be cremated and also to not be buried. That may sound strange but that's what she wanted. (With our health issues, we had sometimes discussed what we would do if either of us passed away and left the other one alone.) I am trying to see how possible that is. But even a traditional funeral is beyond my means and I'm not sure where the money will come from.
Gofundme says I should say who is in charge of final expenses. I guess that's me.
One final word: I picked up her engagement and wedding band, and she will be buried with them on her fingers.
Thank you for any help you can provide!
--Joe Yohn
We bought engagement and wedding rings together on Dec 12th. I was going to propose to her on New Years Eve. We were finally going to be married, because I was getting a raise and better benefits starting January 1st 2020. We were so excited about the future.
We had been together for 7 years, our anniversary was coming up in January. We were in love from the first day. Once she blurted out "I love you" just a couple weeks into our dating and quickly covered her mouth and apologized. I said it's ok, I feel the same way! We were cautious at first but for over 6 years we said we loved each other every single day. She meant everything to me. The only reason we didn't get married was because she was unable to work and on medicaid. If we married she would have my terrible, very expensive benefits instead.
Then on the 23rd she started to have some rib pain. We went to urgent care on the 24th (Christmas Eve) and they said she didn't have a fracture, but gave her some pain meds. Some percocet. She accidentally took a few more than she should have (she had a number of other conditions that made her system weaker than usual) and on the 26th I had to call the paramedics to get her to the hospital. At the Emergency Room they found she was in liver and kidney failure, probably due to Acetamenophin poisoning. In the ICU that night, they decided she had to have a liver transplant and I asked them to transfer her to Presbyterian St Luke's, where the team that had given me a liver transplant were.
At PSL, they determined that she was not transplantable. Her diabetes and A1C prevented them from operating. A strange thing happened, then: These were my doctors also, and I was told I had to go to the ER because my own numbers were off and I was very dehydrated. (I had been feeling a little unwell for a week prior.) I had to be admitted also, but to a regular room, not the ICU.
So for the next day and a half, I was upstairs in the hospital and she was downstairs below me, dying. I was allowed to go down and visit her and comfort her as best as I could. We hoped she would recover at first, but that became less and less likely. And so on the morning of the Dec 29th, I was in my hospital gown holding her hand and petting her hair. We were surrounded by life support machinery and she had lines in her everywhere. And at 8:18 am, her precious heart that I had sworn to always protect stopped beating.
Now I am lost and struggling to make her final arrangements.
Her wishes were to not be cremated and also to not be buried. That may sound strange but that's what she wanted. (With our health issues, we had sometimes discussed what we would do if either of us passed away and left the other one alone.) I am trying to see how possible that is. But even a traditional funeral is beyond my means and I'm not sure where the money will come from.
Gofundme says I should say who is in charge of final expenses. I guess that's me.
One final word: I picked up her engagement and wedding band, and she will be buried with them on her fingers.
Thank you for any help you can provide!
--Joe Yohn
Organizer
Joseph Yohn
Organizer
Denver, CO