Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m asking for help, and this isn’t something that I’m super comfortable with, but in order to move on with my life it is something that I need to do. In case someone doesn’t know, I’m trans. I’ve been on hormones for just under 3 years and full-time as me since Halloween of 2016. I had set a date for bottom surgery with Marci Bowers, one of the best surgeons for this kind of operations in the world (http://marcibowers.com/mtf/mtf-services/grs/ ).
My original surgery date was October 5th, 2021. Earlier this month I played some phone tag with Dr. Bower’s office. Apparently, I’m at the top of the wait/cancellation list. So rather than being 3 years away, I’m less than 6 months. Probably closer to 3-4 months if I understand correctly.
This is very dialectic for me. On one hand, I am excited, relieved and overjoyed. The idea of having to wait less time to make my body the way that it should have been. My dysphoria can be overwhelming at times, and I know had a lot to do with my depression and anxiety forming. However, on the other hand, I’m not prepared for this in such a short period of time. I’m working with my therapist to cope ahead and try to reduce my nerves and fear - but the biggest burden at this point is scraping together the money to pull this off in such a short period of time.
As you may know, I was unemployed over the summer and have only recently found a job. So while I’m very thankful to be working my current savings is zero.
Here’s my breakdown of expenses to pull this off:
-My Insurance Max Out-of-Pocket Deductible: *IF* I can get a surgery date in 2018 this would be: $5,894.21 if it’s 2019: $7,350.00 (that’s the big part of course)
-Daily expenses while we are gone. Just because I have to be off of work, doesn’t mean my bills will stop coming in. Those total $1,545. In the name of transparency (As I’m asking for help) those are Rent, Car payment, insurance, paying off old medical bills, phone, internet, and my medication.
Finally, there is the trip out there. The cheapest way (and my preference) is to drive. For a roundtrip, this is $1,600.00 (includes gas, hotel, and food). Flying would cost $2,300 and the train would be $2,400 (the train is so much because after surgery I need a bed to rest in and so I would need a sleeper car and those aren’t cheap). These prices are roundtrip (Saint Louis to San Francisco, and for Rachel and myself. I know I’m going to need her help).
Other than the money we are going to need people to, potentially, help out with the cats and things. So if you want to help but you have about as many resources as I do please message me. I’m sure you could help us in ways that don’t cost money.
Okay, so the grand total to pull this off is $9,039.21 to $11,295. As I’m looking to scrape this together in as little as 3 months you can see why I am asking for help. Of course, money would be lovely but anything would be helpful. Such as Gift cards for gas, food, hotel; etc. Donating things that I can sell. I’m happy to do things for you, I’m great at social media (BA in Media Communication!) and if you don’t mind waiting until after I finish recovery I can mow lawns or whatever :) My Mom also suggested if anyone had old or broken jewelry that I could sell.
*sigh* okay now that that is over (Again, I feel bad about asking for help) I am happy to take this as a gift or as a loan. I am more than happy to pay back anyone that would like that. It might take a while, but as soon as I’m back on my feet I have no problem with doing this.
Also, in case anyone is wondering why I don’t just wait until my 3-year mark and save up the money myself. Firstly I don’t know if I’ll make it. I know that sounds overdramatic, but I’ve already been in the hospital twice in the last year and a half for suicidal ideations. I need to be in a body that feels like my own. The less depressing answer to that is I applied to Grad School at UMSL for the Masters in Social Work program. I really hope that I can get a surgery date before the year is out, so if I can get into that program that isn’t being interrupted by my surgery date.
I course hope that I can raise enough money for myself. If by some magical reason that I raise more than that I can either give that money back (if the platform allows) or I would donate it to MTUG (https://www.stlmetrotrans.com/ ). They are the local Trans resource, I’ve been going to their groups for over 4 years. They have made a huge impact on my life and the lives of many of my friends.
This is a very emotionally intense piece for me to write. If you have any questions feel free to ask. At this point in my life, I’m pretty open about everything.
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