Hi! I’m Kai! I’m non-binary trans and currently 39 years old, and I need your help to get top surgery at some point in the near future. I thought I could hang in there for a while longer but the chest dysphoria has become fairly crippling recently, especially when I have to leave the house.
For example, I’ve just come back from four days in Paris (it’s nowhere near as glam as it sounds, I’m afraid) because I had to be at the office for my new job, and the onslaught of misgenderings, being she/her’d, and being blatantly read as “woman” despite asking people not to has worn me down completely. My mental health is tanking. I feel raw and sad and hurt and I want to cry. I don’t want this to be how it is for the next 5ish years until I can maybe finally afford top surgery. The thought truly terrifies me.
So, I’m doing what learning to code has taught me is the right thing to do and what my developer friends are always telling me is important: I am asking for help. I feel incredibly uncomfortable doing it, but I understand it is necessary if I want to live fully instead of just barely existing, trying to constantly hide my body.
Why can’t you get it on insurance in Germany?
Insurance in Germany only covers gender-affirming care for binary trans people. To get top surgery I would have to go to specialised therapy sessions twice a month for six months. These sessions are only available in Hamburg which is a 1.5 hour trip each direction. They also cost money. Plus, I would have to pretend I am a trans man, which my neurodivergent self couldn’t pull off for 12 sessions of therapy. It’s just misgendering another way, and I’d be doing it to myself.
Why can’t you pay it yourself, you have a job
My partner and I have been a bit unlucky with our savings, which got wiped out when an ex-job didn’t pay them for 4 months in the same year that we moved internationally. We haven’t yet financially recovered from that. We both have decent jobs, we’re good with money, and we’re working on saving up, but it’s going to take us a long time to save up for top surgery — especially as we both want to get it and we’re looking at an upcoming international move again.
Okay, so what do you need?
I am simply asking those of you who can spare some money, to throw some into this top surgery pot for me. I set it to 8k because that is a fairly middle-ground fee for top surgery in Europe and the UK. The surgery might cost more and there will of course be added cost because of travel etc., but since I’m also saving up, I’m looking for this gofundme to help me cover as much as possible rather than for it to cover the entirety of it.
Please note: If you can barely make ends meet, I do not want your money. I know trans folk always give to other trans folk’s fundraisers and I love us for that, but you are very much not expected to contribute. Just do me a favour and please share my campaign far and wide with your well-off friends instead; especially your cis friends who always say they’re great trans allies. Let them put their money where their mouth is.
Thank you so much