Help Me Fix a Failed Surgery That Has Taken Over My Life

Hi, my name is Rob and I’m raising funds to seek private medical help after a surgery I had years ago went badly wrong. I’m 37 now. Every day is a struggle, both physically and emotionally. I just want a chance to live with some sense of normality again.

When I was 22, I had the Nuss procedure to correct a rib cage deformity. It was meant to help me live more comfortably. Instead, the outcome has been life-altering in the worst way. One side of my rib cage collapsed so badly that it now sticks out through my side and back. This deformity has caused pressure inside my body that led to a hiatal hernia, chronic acid reflux (GERD), and constant regurgitation of food.

I can no longer eat properly. I silently aspirate liquids and choke easily. I’ve lost nearly 2 stone in 6 months. I now survive on banana-flavoured liquid meals because most solid food either hurts or makes me sick. I’ve told my doctors this many times. Still, I’m told I’m “doing well.” I’ve been refused surgical help and told to see a dietitian as though this is something I can manage through willpower and a meal plan.

It’s exhausting. I can’t go out for meals with friends or family. I can’t gain weight. I can’t date or build the kind of life I thought I would have by now. I’m 37. I want to settle down. I want to be able to share a meal with someone I care about without having to explain why I can’t eat. I got this surgery to feel more like everyone else. The result is that I now feel more broken and more alienated than ever.

The one thing that has kept me going is my work. I run Fikä Bournemouth, a community-focused coffee shop in the town center. Since opening, we’ve been proud to serve our town in every way we can. We’ve won multiple awards for what we’ve built here. We were recently commended by the House of Commons for our contribution to the community. Every Christmas Day, we open our doors to anyone who has nowhere else to go. Fikä has always been about family. It’s the only real success story I have in my life. I hide in my work because it gives me purpose. Without it, I have nothing.

But I’m reaching my limit. My body is struggling to keep up with the demands of running the shop. If my health keeps declining, I don’t know how much longer I can keep going.

The NHS won’t help. They’ve made it clear that no surgeon will take this on. I have to go private if I want any chance at proper treatment. If a specialist agrees to try and repair the damage, the costs could run into tens of thousands. Simply put, Idon’t have that kind of money. I’m stuck. I’m tired. I just want a chance to feel like myself again.

If you’re able to help in any way, whether through a donation or even just by sharing this, I would be deeply grateful.

Thank you for taking the time,

Rob