Funding for Caleb's Cross Cultural Mission Trip - May 2025

My name is Caleb Ruiz. Please allow me a few moments to share a bit of my story that only a few may know. Over the years my passion for film has grown into a desire to work in the area of Cinema. I would like to make movies, write and direct in various genres. I am currently a student at Lee University majoring in Cinema and minoring in ASL (American Sign Language) with approximately one and a half years left in my program. I would like to incorporate the knowledge I gain in ASL into my cinema work. Aside from doing translation for those who are hearing impaired, I want to stay true to deaf culture in my films. During my last year in school, I will also take a Cross Cultural trip as part of my degree requirements. This will be an International trip to an area where ASL will be our focused mission. Any funding of this trip will be out of pocket.

While working to complete my degree at Uni, I suffered some major set-backs physically, mentally, emotionally and financially, one building upon the other, which caused me to have to leave my job in April of 2023, as well as take a couple of semesters off over the last couple of years. At this point I am seeking a job that will work with my needs. I only recently got to a place where I feel that I can mentally handle the stressors of daily life and be able to work. I am preparing to attend school beginning in the Spring 2025 semester. To help explain my position and the reason for this funding request, I would like to go back a little and explain some of what has happened.

Some of this I have not shared up to this point except with my family, closest friends and of course my physicians/therapists. The major things began to reveal themselves in September of 2022. While working my shift at my job at that time, I began to suffer a stroke-like event with slurred speech, limb numbness and mobility issues. I was taken to the hospital for tests overnight, but they all came back negative for a stroke. Everything looked normal on the scans; however, I wasn't able to form words easily or without stuttering. My body was weak, affecting my motor skills and I had to move slowly as my balance was off as well. During this time, I was able to sing without issues and when I would laugh, I could read or speak without stuttering. I could even speak in other languages that I knew non-fluently without stuttering. It was just the English that was difficult. I saw a neurologist and many other doctors trying to narrow down the cause. I even had to do speech therapy for almost 4 months to learn how to talk fluently again. Nothing showed up on any scan or doctor visits; therefore, it was chalked up to being a psychosomatic stroke-like event caused by stress.

During the midst of this event in my life, my dad became very ill with issues that could not be reversed by medical care and he passed away. My mother and I were able to attend his memorial in Texas to say our goodbyes. He and I had been somewhat estranged for several years due to things I will not go into here. This made a bad situation even more worse. The pain of losing him physically and never being able to resolve the emotional loss from years gone by; I made it through this journey and allowed myself some semblance of closure by making the decision during his memorial to speak impromptu, reflecting on the good memories that I had of him.

As the next few months went on and I continued in school, maybe it was the stress of all the past years compiled, I began to decline even more affecting my grades and somedays even the ability to get out of bed or go through normal daily routines. I had been diagnosed a few years before and suffered with anxiety and depression for which I had received counseling and medication, not knowing the full extent of things to come as well as what lay in the silent places. Due to the nature of the issues as my mental health declined, I wasn't able to keep up with the paces of life and eventually my grades suffered as it went on. I would start out each semester with high aspirations, making good grades and as the last few weeks would near, things began to slip away in multiple ways causing my grades to plummet leading to more stress, anxiety and depression.

I was still working, but it was becoming more difficult to be able to continue with the declining state of things. As much as I wanted to excel and finish out the academic year strong, I began to spiral. In April of 2023, I lost my job because my mental health was affecting me physically as well. I began to push others away all the while grasping to hold onto them at the same time. I don't really know how to explain it. By May of 2023, I was in a desperate situation mentally. I couldn't do it anymore, the IT was Life. I said my goodbyes on May the 7th and decided that was the day to close the curtain. I didn't want to, but I felt that was the only way to make everything stop. I took matters into my own hands and drove to the top of a mountain where I proceeded to try. I believe God said He wasn't finished with me. It wasn't my time to go. Thankfully, someone called my mom and she came to my rescue. God spared my life that day.

Through this journey, I was able to get the help that I needed to finally know what many of the issues stemmed from. I knew about the Anxiety and Depression, but what I didn't know about was the other things. I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), along with OCD, ADHD, and possibly PTSD/CPTSD. It was a lot to take in, but I finally felt like there was light at the end of the tunnel. Now I could get the help I needed and begin to get my life back on track with the help of my doctors, therapist, my medications and the support of family and those friends who stuck around. Unfortunately, when someone suffers with mental health issues, many people aren't able to understand or cope with the way things are or learn how to support others as they walk through their reality.

As I continue on this journey, learn new things about myself and how to love myself no matter what, I choose to fight to continue through school, gain the knowledge and skills needed to fulfill my dream, what I feel is my calling in life. I want to be able to make movies that will inspire others, bring meaningful thoughts, joy, and excitement, to document life, things that really matter. I want to help others to step out of themselves and see things in a light that they might not have envisioned before, to see that there are other ways to view life than just our own little worlds. There is a bigger world out there than we could ever imagine.

In order to accomplish these things, I wanted to share a part of my life, my heart that I hadn't shown before, so that you could see where I am coming from. I have lived much, experienced much and felt much in the short amount of years that I have walked this journey of life. With your help, I hope to be able to finish what I started and work hard in the next year and half to finish my degree. Therefore, I am asking for your support in being able to finish out this remaining time in school including my Cross Cultural trip. I will be starting back to school in January of 2025 after this current semester off with one goal in mind, to succeed with the remaining few courses I have left and be the best that I can be for myself and the world around me. Will you help me to finish so that I can go out into the world and really make a difference in others lives, just as I have had others do for me.

Thank you for your time in reading this account of my life, for your consideration, your support if you are able, for your prayers and for passing along the link for this Go Fund Me to your family and friends.

Yours truly,

Caleb Ruiz