HELP ME BUY MY FIRST HUMAN HAIR WIG

I never thought this would happen to me because I have always had very thick, dark hair. Losing my hair has been one of the hardest things I have ever been through, I feel ridiculous saying that because there are so many worse things happening to people around the world. My mum said to me, "Kiana, you are allowed to cry. You are allowed to mourn your hair because it is a massive loss." I am very lucky to have such a supportive partner, family, and friends around me, and I am grateful to you all for the encouragement and kind words.

For the past year and a half I have been losing my hair, first I lost all the hair on my arms, and then I noticed a small bald patch on the side of my head, this is when I contacted my doctors, who then referred me to the dermatologist. It took me a full year before my first appointment! 6 times the NHS cancelled my appointment without an explanation, I continued to call up and ask why and tell them how serious my situation was getting, I was beginning to lose hope as well as my hair. I wanted and needed answers and it was beginning to really affect my mental health. I wanted to know why this was happening. I started to lose all my eyebrows, eyelashes, leg hair, body hair and more hair on my head. I now have my eyebrows microbladed and wear false lashes, which has massively helped my confidence. The false lashes have been a right pain, but thankfully I'm getting used to putting them on now! Eventually, when I had my appointment, they confirmed what I suspected, I had done my research and already diagnosed myself with Alopecia Universalis.

One person out of every 4,000 will get Alopecia Universalis...of course that 1 was me! Maybe I should put the lottery on - might get lucky!

Alopecia Universalis is a rare medical condition that causes complete hair loss on the scalp and entire body. It's the most severe form of alopecia areata. Alopecia Universalis is an autoimmune disease, which means my immune system attacks my hair follicles instead of protecting them. Unfortunately, there is no cure.

This is not what I would choose for myself but I am trying my best to embrace it, I have recently bought my first synthetic wig the same colour as my natural hair colour (which cost £300 and only lasts 6months). The NHS gave me £65 towards this wig, which I am grateful for, every little helps! I am not eligible for free wigs from the NHS (only people with cancer get them for free, which is understandable). I am hoping one day soon I will be brave enough to try different styles, colours and maybe even rock a bald head...but I'm not ready for that yet. I know I will get there and learn to LOVE my NEW self. I am also trying my best to look at the positives, at least I'll never have to shave or wax ever again!

I never knew how expensive this wig-malarkey was - it is an ongoing expense. Please help me buy my first human hair wig - they are usually about £2,000 depending on the brand. Even a human hair wig doesn't last forever, but they last longer than synthetic wigs - if cared for properly they can last up to about 3 years. With my synthetic hair wig, I can't wash it, which means I can't exercise in it or go swimming or go out in the rain, which is unavoidable in Cumbria! Also I can't cook in it or sit around a campfire. I recently had to say no to my daughter when she has asked to go swimming for her birthday to a waterpark, but I have had to say no (which breaks my heart) because I'm not brave enough to show the world yet but sharing this with you all is a step closer to that. With a human hair wig, I can actually go swimming, as well as having so many other benefits too and looking more real compared to synthetic hair.

My 8-year-old daughter recently said to me, "Don't be afraid to show people who you really are! Mam, you are God's most beautiful creation!"

I am going to own it and shave my head next weekend (Sunday 23rd of June 2024 at 5pm)! I have had enough of hiding it now and feeling ashamed and thankful to finally be getting it out there! Which makes it more real but also means I am in control - I think it's controlled me long enough now! I can't hold onto my hair any longer. Actually can't wait to shave it off - never thought I would say that! Plus my house floor will thank me for it...there is more hair than carpet! I am moulting more than my 2 dogs and cat!

I will cover it up with fabrics and fake hair for now, but one day, I will have a human hair wig and also be brave enough to rock it bald and proud, but not yet. Please, God, give me strength - you are my ROCK!