Help Me Build a New Life Through Taiko in Japan

TLDR: This is a fundraiser for a Cultural Activities Visa for taiko drumming under Sensei Kaoly Asano in Japan. The Cultural Activities Visa is like an artist residency that consequentially allows up to a few years of stay abroad. I would like to improve myself as a musician and a human being, so I am asking friends to help me realize a new dream. Thank you.

In January of 2024, on the advice of friends and colleagues close to me, I decided to put all of my possessions into a storage unit, and left Los Angeles for two months to study taiko drumming in Japan. At the time, due to the industry slowdown and a devastating layoff from my dream job, my life and mental health was in shambles. My living space had become unhealthy for me to live in due to depression overwhelming my ability to care for myself. I was struggling to even work or even function in public due to general directionlessness, depression, and emotional instability. I stopped making art, and I couldn’t bring myself to start any projects. My head constantly hurt and my sleep cycle was upside down. For lack of better terms, I was an absolute menace to anyone around me, and I still carry a lot of guilt over that period of time. I had drafted two or three suicide notes, and started to make plans, but instead I made one last silent cry for help to some people close to me. They encouraged me to start over again and leave Los Angeles to go study taiko under Kaoly-sensei at Tawoo Dojo in Tokyo.

2024年1月、親しい友人や同僚の勧めを受け、私は自分の持ち物すべてを倉庫に預け、ロサンゼルスを離れて2ヶ月間、日本で太鼓を学ぶ決意をしました。当時、業界の停滞と夢だった仕事の突然の解雇により、私の人生と精神状態は完全に崩壊していました。うつの影響で自分の生活空間すら維持できなくなり、健康的に暮らすことができなくなっていました。方向性のなさ、感情の不安定さから、外に出て働いたり人と接することも困難でした。芸術活動もできず、何か新しいことを始める気力もありませんでした。頭痛に悩まされ、昼夜逆転の生活を送っていました。

正直に言えば、その時期の自分は周囲の人々にとって非常に迷惑な存在であり、そのことに今でも大きな罪悪感を抱えています。2〜3通の遺書を書いたこともあります。けれども、最後の力を振り絞り、親しい人たちに無言の助けを求めました。彼らは、東京の「TAWOO TAIKO DOJO」で浅野香先生の下で太鼓を学ぶためにロサンゼルスを離れて人生をやり直すよう励ましてくれました。

I had some savings that sustained me while I made my way over. I stayed at a tiny AirBnB that cost considerably less than my rent in Los Angeles. I hit drums 3-4 times a week, made new friends, found community, and did therapy remotely. Those two months saved my life, and broke the cycle. I was once again taking care of myself. When I returned to Los Angeles, it was the first time in years that I was cooking and cleaning, and I deliberately made time to keep up with friends. They remarked that I seemed like my old self again and that I was finally happy for the first time in a long time. Some people mentioned to me at the Taiko Taikai that it seemed like a lot changed very quickly. I enrolled in a couple new taiko dojos in Los Angeles as well.

少しばかりの貯金を使って日本へ向かい、ロサンゼルスの家賃よりずっと安い小さなAirBnBに滞在し、週に3〜4回太鼓を叩き、新しい友達やコミュニティと出会い、遠隔でセラピーも続けました。その2ヶ月間が私の命を救い、負のサイクルを断ち切ってくれたのです。再び自分のケアができるようになり、ロサンゼルスに戻った時には数年ぶりに自炊や掃除をするようになりました。友人たちも「昔のあなたに戻ったみたい」「久しぶりに本当に幸せそうだね」と言ってくれました。太鼓大会では「短期間で何かが大きく変わったようだ」と言ってくれた人もいました。ロサンゼルスでも新たに二つの太鼓道場に通い始めました。

In August, I returned again to Japan for TawooRhythm, and that feeling of belonging and goal-setting quickly returned. I was in a tiny room in a sharehouse, with nothing but a few bags, a laptop, and a camera, and I was just happy. I was eating healthy, losing weight, not worrying about finances, and making art outside of taiko.

All the while, friends were on the ground at home taking care of my now-passed pug, Ghost, and checking in with me while I was away. A lot of people both at home and abroad have contributed in important ways to bring me back from the brink, and I owe my life to them. I performed in TawooRhythm, and found myself devastated that I had to return home. It felt like I was just going back to Los Angeles out of obligation.

8月には再び日本へ戻り、「Tawoo Rhythm」に参加しました。再び目標と居場所が見つかり、私はとても幸せでした。シェアハウスの小さな部屋で、数個のバッグとノートパソコンとカメラしか持っていませんでしたが、健康的な食事をし、体重も減り、お金の不安もなく、太鼓以外の芸術活動も行うようになりました。

一方で、アメリカにいる友人たちは亡くなった愛犬Ghostの世話をしてくれたり、遠くから私を支えてくれたりしました。国内外を問わず、数多くの人々が私の人生のどん底からの回復に力を貸してくれました。私は「Tawoo Rhythm」に出演し、帰国する時は胸が張り裂けそうでした。ただの「義務感」でロサンゼルスへ戻るだけのように感じました。

What I’ve learned from all this:

この経験から学んだこと：

I could just return to Japan on a digital nomad or tourist visa right now. However, I don’t think it would help me continue to deepen relationships, work towards years-long personal goals, or immerse myself in the culture. A lot of the discussions I ended up happening were of the fleeting nature of my travels – how long I was going to be around, where I was going to visit as a tourist. But the truth was, I didn’t go to many places in Japan other than a few cities for a weekend at a time. I was just mostly hitting drums, going to some pro wrestling shows, sharing a drink or two with friends in Nichome, and working. It was a mostly normal life abroad, and I know it’s one I want to continue leading.

現在、日本に観光またはデジタルノマドビザで戻ることは可能です。しかし、それでは人間関係を深めたり、長期的な目標を追求したり、文化に深く溶け込んだりすることは難しいと感じています。短期の滞在では「いつまでいるの？」「次はどこを旅行するの？」という一時的な話題ばかりで、実際には観光らしい観光もせず、太鼓の練習、プロレス観戦、友達と二丁目で飲むくらいの普通の生活を送っていました。ですがその「普通の生活」が私にとってとても大切なものでした。

I want to go on a Cultural Activities visa, my hope being that this journey lasts a few years. In pursuing this visa, I would be leaving behind a lot of the momentum I’ve made in my career in the last decade to pursue safety and a new life. Kaoly Sensei, Nori Sensei, and Kazumi Sensei have stayed in contact and are helping me secure this visa. In addition to this, Eriko-san, a very kind member of Tawoo Dojo, offered to house me in her home in Taito-ku, which would be a nice start towards longer housing goals. Pursuing this visa would be at great expense to my life’s path and career opportunities, and would require me to change a lot about myself in order to make it work. I still have remote work freelance clients that help me out, but it’s now unsustainable to do it in Los Angeles, due to the offshoring of the media industry and general rising cost of living increases. It’s possible to work part-time on this visa, but if granted, Japan’s immigration board would want me to have sponsors like Kaoly-san and Eriko-san helping me study taiko. The Cultural Activities visa is not a work visa — it’s designed for people who are immersing themselves in Japanese culture, like traditional arts, language, or music. In many ways, it functions like an artist residency: you’re expected to study, train, and contribute, not to fully support yourself through employment. That’s why I’m asking for help — this journey isn’t about making money, it’s about preserving and participating in cultural exchange. There are ways I can give back to the taiko community in Japan and abroad; I am a skilled drum builder, photographer, and filmmaker. If granted the visa, I would contribute what I can back to the community using these mediums.

私の希望：

今度は「文化活動ビザ」を取得して、数年にわたる本格的な学びを目指しています。このビザを取得するには、これまで築いてきたキャリアの流れを手放し、安全と再出発のために人生の方向を大きく変える覚悟が必要です。香先生、憲先生、和美先生がビザ取得のサポートをしてくださっており、またTAWOO TAIKO DOJOの優しいメンバーであるえりこさんが台東区のご自宅で私を住まわせてくれると申し出てくれました。

このビザは就労ビザではなく、伝統芸能や日本語など日本文化に深く関わる活動を行う人のための制度です。いわばアーティスト・レジデンシーのようなもので、働いて生活費を全て賄うのではなく、「学び」「貢献」することが目的です。だからこそ、皆さんに支援をお願いしたいのです。

私は太鼓職人、写真家、映像作家としての技術もあり、与えられた機会を通じて日本や世界の太鼓コミュニティに貢献したいと考えています。

This GoFundMe would be a contingency fund for securing the visa, showing some savings/financial solvency to the Japanese government, paying Tawoo dojo for my education, and general overhead in my life (phone bill, internet, filling my IC card for the train, food, etc). Like previous trips to study taiko in Japan, this would not be a vacation, and I would be pursuing additional clearances from the Japanese government to allow me to work while learning.

このGoFundMeは、文化活動ビザ取得のための資金確保（日本政府に対しての財政的安定の証明）、道場への授業料、そして生活費（電話代、ネット、交通ICカードのチャージ、食費など）に充てられます。これは「旅行」ではなく、本格的な修行の場です。必要に応じて就労許可も取得予定です。

Additionally, with the increasing antagonisms of the United States towards transgender people, friends have been encouraging me to pursue forms of escape. There are some protections that California affords transgender people in employment and health care, and I have been blessed to be able to take advantage of those programs. However, federalism as applied through the administrative state has caused all sorts of bad policy regarding trans healthcare already. I worry that Trump’s FDA is soon going to fulfill their promises to issue a directive to end gender affirming care altogether. Something like that would undo a large amount of the work I’ve put into my mental health and would make me have to return to buying estrogen off the street. This is not my #1 factor in asking for help in this goal, but I do think it’s very prudent at this point in time to leave before things become much more untenable.

さらに：

現在、アメリカではトランスジェンダーに対する敵対的な動きが進行しています。カリフォルニア州には一部保護制度がありますが、連邦レベルではトランス医療を制限しようとする動きが加速しており、ホルモン治療などが違法になる可能性があります。それは私が築いてきた精神的安定をすべて破壊するものであり、再び非合法な手段に頼らざるを得なくなるかもしれません。

これはこのプロジェクトの主目的ではありませんが、今、日本を目指すのは非常に理にかなっていると思っています。

Your contributions would help me fundamentally change the next year or two of my life, and I would be eternally grateful. Thank you for your consideration.

ご支援いただければ、これからの1〜2年の人生を根本的に変えることができます。心より感謝申し上げます。ご検討いただき、ありがとうございます。

Additionally -- If this fundraiser fails to reach its goal to a substantial degree, I have no intent on keeping the funds, and I would request that GoFundMe refund all donations instead of withdrawing them.

さらに――もしこの募金が目標額に大きく届かなかった場合、私はその資金を手元に残すつもりは一切なく、引き出すことなく、すべてのご支援者に返金いたします。

国際的な銀行制度の違いにより、日本のカードでは寄付が難しい場合があるかもしれません。その場合でもご寄付の意思がありましたら、GoFundMe以外で資金を集めるためにKAOLY先生と連携してください。オフラインでのご支援も、掲載されている合計金額に含まれます。

Q+A here

Rough Cost estimates here

Note: GoFundMe uses a baiting system that makes people think they are closer to the goal than usual. I don't entirely agree with this method of psychological baiting, but I do think it's effective. The amount required is considerably more than the stated goals, but I will use the lower amounts/caps if it's more effective.