Help Me and My Kids Escape My Husband's Abuse

My name is Amber and I am a Mom of 6 (20, 18, 16, 13, 12, and 10). My kids are my world and for 19 years of my marriage, I've done everything I can to prevent them from bearing the brunt of my husband's anger, and I've failed them.

Last Thursday (May 29th) my husband cornered my 16 year-old in her closet and screamed in her face for telling me the "secret" her 18 year-old sister had told her, that my husband wanted her to remind him in 2 years to divorce me. After he left her room, she text me to come to her and I did, not knowing what had happened and when I started up the stairs to her, he pushed me out of the way to get to her faster and when he got to her room, he took her electronics (for texting me) and began screaming at her again. I kept asking him to stop, getting between them so he couldn't come closer to her. When my 13 year-old heard him screaming at her sister, she told him to stop as well and he cornered her against her doorframe, in her face screaming at her and telling her he could do whatever he wanted because he was her father. She begged him to leave her alone and he wouldn't, getting so close to her that his body was pressed against her, pushing her into the doorframe. I couldn't get around him, to her, and when she pushed him away and he sort of lunged back at her, I pulled him back by his hoodie, toward me. He claimed he was assaulted but after yelling/screaming some more, he left the upstairs and our kids were able to get ready for bed. He spent half of the night going back and forth loudly making comments to/about our kids and his ability to parent them however he saw fit. The next day, when our 16 year-old tried to go make food, he cornered her in the kitchen, again yelling at her. Our 13 year-old came to her rescue, again, before I heard them shouting and came downstairs. Again, he yelled and screamed that he could do whatever he wants, he could punish them if they wont listen to him - to include having them put in Juvenile Detention or a Psych hospital. The police were finally called and he made sure to get to them first to demand they arrest me for "assault" the previous day. When the cops didn't do anything more than take statements and say they were referring it to CPS, he told our 12 year-old that see, he could punish them however he wanted, including punching them.

Since that day, he has taken personal care items so we have to ask for them, taken cords/AC out of the room despite our daughter getting overheated and sick, called a crisis line at 10:30pm and told them he wanted our 13 year-old to go inpatient, scaring her and traumatizing her, told his Mother that our 16 year-old wasn't his daughter anymore, told me he if I died today, he'd throw a party, told me he was embracing his namesake (his father who has been convicted of multiple DV incidents, including punching a 4 year-old), used our 18 year-old to create more division amongst the children, cut me off financially, cut my cell phone off, and even turned the WiFi off to just the kids devices/room so they couldn't do their school work (they're homeschooled). He's used their mental health to create a narrative about them. He's used past mistakes they've made to tell them he's going to get them in trouble with the law, anything to scare them and make them feel like he is out to destroy them.

I have dealt with his verbal and emotional abuse our entire marriage, always hoping he would get help. When he put a gun in the hands of my (now 18) 4 year-old and threatened my family, I should have left. When he fractured the bones in my foot by slamming a door on it, I should have left. When he spanked our (now 16) 8 year old to the point of being black and blue, I should have left. When he screamed and called our daughter Psychotic and she broke down and tried to take her own life, I should have left. There are dozens of scenarios where I should have left but because I didn't think he'd let me, or that I was capable enough, I stayed and tried to counter his bad behaviors. Now, he's divided my children and decided that 3 of them are his enemy, abusing and harassing them at every turn.

I was naive then and now I am isolated in a city hours from family/friends, my kids are scared and sad, I don't have a vehicle large enough to get them to safety or the money to get them there anyway. I am desperate for help and I am praying that I can keep my children safe and mentally well, while he does everything in his power to destroy them and I. I need to be able to get them to safety and I am begging for your help.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.