Hi, I’m Ellis. I'm 20 years old, I’m a writer, a fantasy lover, and a rather quiet person, but today I’m doing something that takes all the courage I can summon: asking for help.

I’m autistic, and I’m currently struggling to survive day-to-day while dealing with suspected OCD, depression, and long-term burnout. Life hasn’t just been hard lately, it’s been life-threatening. I’ve been battling suicidal thoughts every single day. Some days, it's like wading through tar just to exist. Some days, I don’t know how I’m still here.

I want to be here. I want to get better. But I need help to do that.

My family relationships are complicated and far from supportive, so I can’t rely on them emotionally or financially. I’m doing this on my own and right now, I can’t manage the costs of care, assessments, or even basic living needs.

I’m raising funds to:

Get formally diagnosed for OCD and depression

Access therapy and psychiatric support

Afford medication, if prescribed

Support myself while I’m too unwell to work

My ultimate goal is £4,000, which would cover:

Diagnostic assessments (~£800)

Therapy and psychiatric sessions (~£1,500–£2,000)

Medication costs (~£200–£300)

Food, rent, bills, and basic needs while I stabilise (~£1,000+)

I know times are hard for everyone. But if you’re able to donate—even a few pounds—it could be the thing that gets me through the next day, the next appointment, the next breath. If you can’t give, sharing this helps more than you know. I don't expect miracles. Just whatever you can give. My life really does depend on this. This is my last cry for help. I want to live. I want to understand myself. I want to build a life that feels safe and sustainable for someone like me. And right now, I just need a little help getting there.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for seeing me.

With love and gratitude,

Ellis

P. S. I’ll post gentle updates as I go, progress, reflections, and small victories, if I can. (I've never done this before) You’re part of this journey now. Thank you for walking it with me.