Help Mary Afford Her Internship

IMPORTANT- gofundme is having a serious glitch that is not allowing me to withdraw any funds. Feel free to donate with my cashapp, $ailorDoom. Thank you!

For me to graduate, I’m required to complete an internship. Due to COVID-19, the process of finding one for this summer has not been easy, and while I desperately tried to find a paying one (I’ve lost count of how many I applied to between October and April, but it was a lot), I’m grateful that I was able to secure one at all (even if it is going to be unpaid). Even better, I was able to get a dream one, working for Manuel Cuevas. Formerly the head tailor to Nudie Cohn in the 1950s, Manuel has become an iconic part of Americana and the creation of the over the top style of westernwear traditionally associated with country music. He’s most well known for putting Johnny Cash in his legendary black suits, but he’s also dressed everyone from Salvador Dalí to Lady Gaga. 

Anyone who knows me knows how much I love westernwear and the personal meaning it has for me in terms of finding myself in my family’s Tennessee roots. My plan for my senior fashion collection is to create a westernwear collection that celebrates the alternative south, particularly queer and trans southerners. This experience with Manuel would be life changing for me and would elevate the work I’m planning to do for my senior project. This has become even more important to me because I’ve decided that I want to pursue grad school at NC State, and having a strong portfolio will help me get admitted into their Master of Textiles program. 

So here’s why I’m making this gofundme- planning for this internship has been extremely stressful for me this semester, especially as it became more and more apparent to me that I was going to have to leave NC to complete one as I was rejected from the places local to me that offered internships relevant to my studies. I’m very fortunate that one of my friends offered totake in my cats for me over the summer (thankyou, Grant!), so that was one thing to worry less about, but I still had to figure out how a) I would pay the rent on my apartment in Greensboro while I’m away, and b) how can I make money while I’m in Nashville for the summer (I’m very lucky to have family in the area who are willing to house me, but I still need to pay for gas and eat and actually experience something resembling stress relief after an extremely stressful semester).

And so my troubles begin:

For a) I was depending on a tuition reimbursement from my job at Apple, who reimburses me for part of my tuition each year. I would likely not receive this money until the end of May, so that would dictate when I can leave for Nashville and start my internship (my landlord requires me to pay with a cashier’s check each month due to previous issues with my bank screwing up the online payment- I would like to not be evicted so I deal with it and fetch a check every month or every other month when I have the money to pay a couple of months in advance). I also made plans with my job to shift out of the retail store into working online again for the summer (I did this for 7 months during lockdown and I hated it, but it kept my bills paid). Between working 20 hours a week for money and 30 hours a week for my internship, this would put me at working 50 hours a week and would have me completing the 300 hours required for my internship in 10 weeks. Due to having to start my internship late because of the tiny little aforementioned “I need to be able to pay my rent” reason, this would mean I wouldn’t finish my internship until August 6th... just 4 days before classes for the fall will start. 

If this sounds very stressful and exhausting to you, it also sounds very stressful and exhausting to me but I’m willing to deal with all that because I just want to fucking graduate. I’ve been trying to finish my undergrad degree since 2008 (which is a long sordid tale of undiagnosed and untreated mental illness and my spiral down to rock bottom, but oof I am not diving into all that today) and I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. Nevermind that I just spent the past school year doing a psychotic amount of work for school while working with limited sewing lab access due to COVID restrictions. Fun fact: this whole past school year I’ve spent almost every Friday I’ve had off from my job in the sewing lab on campus. Fridays are the one day a week students are allowed to sign up to use the lab under this year’s pandemic restrictions and I’ve had to use the lab due to my academics requiring me to use the dress forms at school. It’s been so much work, but I’m proud of my output and I’m so close to being finished, so I’m willing to deal with one more stressful summer for the sake of getting the fuck done. 

Annnnnd cue this morning’s mandatory internship meeting. Turns out I have to complete the 300 hours for my internship before July 26th, or else I’ll receive an incomplete for the courseWhich would be ok because it would be turned into my grade after I finish the 300 hours, except... if those hours aren’t finished before August 6th it will screw up my financial aid for the fall, which I *really* can’t afford. And in case you don’t remember because I mentioned it like a novel ago, August 6th is when I expect to be finished with my internship and it’s gonna be cutting really fucking close. 

At this point in the class zoom meeting today, I turned off my camera and proceeded to have a panic attack. I had meticulously planned everything out for months so that I could afford to do this internship, while also working my ass off on my capstone project. Haha joke’s on me, that’s not going to work. Hence the panic attack. 

I’ve since calmed and seriously considered my options. What I think would be best for me would be to try and complete my internship as quickly as I can, which would mean taking a leave of absence from work so I can work 40+ hours a week at my internship and complete it in 7 to 8 weeks. If I want to be able to make all of the due dates for assignments I’m required to complete for UNCG during the course of my internship, I will have to leave for it much earlier in May than I had planned. Long story short, basically student who don’t have a paid internship and have bills to pay are kind of fucked. And that realization is why I had a panic attack this morning. 

So here I am with this gofundme. I hate that I’m having to do this, but I don’t know what else to do right now. $2000 would cover 5 weeks of missed pay, would allow me to pay my rent for June and July in advance before my tuition reimbursement deposits, and would leave me with money to run on for the two months I would be gone (plus cover gofundme’s fees). I will be happy to pay back anyone who wants me to when I receive my tuition reimbursement, I just need to figure out things quickly so I don’t a mental breakdown every other day for the next few weeks. Support from my friends and family has been essential for me successfully getting through college this time and I’m so grateful for every person who helped me get this far.