Hi, my name is Paula for those of you who don’t know, and for those of you who do I am grateful for you all. I am putting together this fund-raiser for Mark Woodward. It has been a hell of a journey with me and those who chose to stick with him and me all these years. Thirteen to be exact. No words to express the grace, gratitude, and humility we have both come to know over these last few years. These last few years have taken their toll on everyone. Mark lost his battle with his mental health in late 2018 and lost everything he had planned for his last quarter in this world of life. He then dipped into a shameful and depressed state and has never come back from that. He couldn’t reach out for help before now. Mark and I have a whole new set of obstacles to overcome. He is battling Stage 3 Cancer of the throat with it spreading into his neck and sinus area. It has knocked the breath and any good energy right out of him. He lost his ability to play the guitar in 2019 right after a covid started. This was his lifeline. Music has always been his outlet. He spent his whole life doing it. It is who and what he is.

He was diagnosed early this year and had thirty-five treatments five days a week in all combining chemotherapy and radiation to the head, face, and neck. He came through it like a stubborn champ. He has lost a considerable amount of weight and is currently intaking his meds and food through a peg-tube for nutrition. He has lost the ability to sing and talking takes its toll but he is still managing to practice each day. Physical therapy has gone well, and we currently have a nurse that comes once a week to check in on us both. He has had his pet scan but we are awaiting results to see what is next? A couple of the major side effects is that his hearing is gone, and we are waiting to see if aids will help? The covid is back down here so we are once again in lockdown mode at the VA Bay Pines Hospital. So we are going backward instead of forwards. I am allowed to enter as I am his caregiver 24/7. Being his partner doesn’t qualify me to go in with him. The other side effect is that his heart crashed. It is currently operating at 14% which has also taken its toll on his body. His spirit keeps taking the hits as he gets sadder. He is strong and stubborn but sometimes I just look at him and he just seems so sad. I can feel it. He is now in Congestive Heart Failure.

We currently live in Florida which was supposed to be our retirement paradise so much for long-term plans. The current situation requires us to look at relocating closer to both of our families and friends. We have had a few people down here who without them we would not have been ok so please don’t think anything negative we simply require more help. I require more help and relief. I am currently downsizing everything we have as I want it to be as simple and minimal as possible. Where and when are still up in the air. We are both looking at being out of here with the grace of the universe and positive energy in about 9 months. I would like to be ready sooner just in case his health takes a turn again. Where to? is currently in progress of manifesting and researching what is best in both of your interests financially, medically, and of course family access. Mark's family has been wonderful but they are reluctant to travel to Florida in this current state of affairs going on down here. They have to look out for their health and their families.

We are looking at states that are in between both of our needs.

So we would be looking at moving expenses. We are also looking at purchasing a vehicle to handle some of the medical equipment Mark is using at this time. Also, the Honda we have is too small for our current needs. There is quite a bit of work ahead of me, and I hope to make it as smooth as I am able for Mark. His mental health is still taking hits daily. His weight still hasn’t gained any momentum either.

This is something that he has written and would like to have written in this letter.

‘Paula has been my guiding angel. I don’t know what I would have done without her. I don’t believe I would even be here right now to write this. I know she is overwhelmed here with trying to do it all and most days she does it ALL. She is working part-time. Handling all my doctor's appointments, driving, the home. She has also taken on my meds, my peg-tube, and several nursing duties that she has had to teach me to do because of the pandemic. She is an amazing human being and I haven’t always been her best friend like she has been mine but she still is right here by my side. I love her. I want to help her help me and so I am asking now to help us. Her family is her lifeline and my family is mine. We are each other so if we thread the needle and put them all together we can move forward. I know I might not have enough time to even get through this, but I have made it this far so far and that is a lot. So in closing, I am blessed no matter what happens from here. I have had so many wonderful things happen in my life, so many people I got to help and meet and create such wonders with. Most of all I met the love of my life and she showed me just what being a really good human being is. She shines every day even when I know she wants to bow down on her knees and cry. Maybe she does, but she does now and always has had my back.”

Tears rolling down my eyes as I write this from his notes. Mark is homebound at this time, and covid adds anxiety and stress to his daily needs. His hands just don’t always work the way he wants them to. I will do all the work in preparing for this next journey we are taking. I do have outside help and will be requesting as much as is permissible. Mark has made his health advocate and executor of his will. We have made all the necessary arrangements for his health. This is the part that I say in closing I would like to ask for any assistance you can contribute. I am humbled, and sorrow filled for what life has thrown to Mark, and still, he remains as positive and stubborn as he can be. He still smiles at least once a day even if I have to do crazy shit to bring it out. We sit at night together just being with each other forgetting the world it’s just him and I. His time will be more powerful and joyous with all his tribe and my tribe surrounding us with all the love, warmth, and helping hands.

Thank you are such simple words but they are the only ones that are swelling to come out. My appreciation for all the years and moments we have shared and the ones to come. Great memories…A good life is still to come.