Hi, I'm Marin.

My life fell apart this year, and I've basically run out of options.

To summarize:

I don't have a local support network, I'm completely alone in the greater Seattle area, I can't afford my apartment, my cat is starting to show her age and I can't afford vet visits. I stopped ordering my meds and hormones because I can't afford them, and I'm down to my last bottle of my SNRI.

My mental health has been nose diving this year as it became more and more clear that my relationship was over. I'm struggling to eat and sleep, my hair is falling out, and my heart rate has been concerning me. Suicidal ideation has gotten really bad - and despite dealing with it for most of my life, I'm starting to worry about the frequency, especially when I'm not doing well mentally and might decide it's finally worth acting on.

On top of all that - I'm probably getting fired this week. I will be applying for unemployment as soon as I can, and looking for work, but I don't trust the government as it currently is. I don't want to get kicked out of my apartment before anything gets finalized.

The only good news through all of this is that I got accepted to Seattle U with a $14k merit scholarship. Classes start at the end of March. I'm trying my best to save what little extra money I have, but as it stands, I won't be able to afford moving to Seattle, let alone afford tuition.

Im doing my best to keep moving forward. I have long distance friends that I love with my whole heart. But it's getting really hard to convince myself it's worth it.