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When my baby brother Jared was 5 months old, he went into hospital to have a simple surgery. It was successful, until he was in recovery where he was taken off oxygen.
His windpipe collapsed and he suffered anoxia. He lost 4 minutes of oxygen to his brain and ended up with brain damage. He didn't walk until he was five, he's never been able to talk. He went to "special" schools and took "special" classes in regular schools. He rode the "special" school bus.
Jared was mercilessly teased, suffered abuse at the hands of a teacher and God only knows who else. Our Mom became a fighter, and then she became a winner. She and Jared have their own way of communicating. They converse without words. They both know what the other is thinking. Mom is his body guard. Both his parents are.
We, as a family, made a promise to ourselves. Jared would always have us. Now, at 38 years old, he still does. The real 'kicker' in Jared's story is, our parents did everything they could to give Jared as normal a life possible. As you can see, he's quite a handsome fella. He was a stylish dude, who loves music.
They sent him to "special" camps, not just to give themselves a break but to see that he had social activities and fun in the sun, a few weeks a summer. And they were expensive too. But my parents worked hard, had a family business, almost every penny, going into a decent life for "The Bear" (that's what we call him). His happiness and comfort know no limits. Our parents did everything. They forfeited their own 'fun' for Jared.
Fast forward to Jared, at 30, he was still going to these "special" camps. But that stopped like the force of a tsunami. The last time Jared went to his "special" camp for folks with "special" needs, was about 7 years ago now. The pictures of him at the summer dance, smiling from ear to ear, of him jumping off a diving board, wearing a life jacket, feet first into a fresh country lake were our everything.
Then the call from camp came. Jared was at Kingston, Ontario Hospital. Our parents made the dash from Toronto to find Jared lying on a gurney with a cervical collar on. Jared had fallen while getting into a sailboat. He hit his head on one of those big spools, or cleats that hold the boats ropes. His head and neck thrust violently backwards. He was bleeding profusely from the forehead. Panic came over the counselors who had known Jared for years. They got him up, walked him to the camp infirmary, he was taken to a local hospital, was stitched up and sent back to camp.
As he lay in bed after returning from the country hospital, his counselor, dutifully sitting beside him, she felt that Jared was off. This was more serious than a bump on the head. She insisted he go to a "real" hospital. He went...but when he got there, he couldn't exactly speak to how he felt.
I've never seen Jared cry. And he didn't cry then. At least not until our Mom walked in and he looked at her, without moving his neck. A tear escaped from the corner of his eye. Mom knew. She just knew that Jared would never be the same. He was released from the hospital, in a wheelchair. He couldn't walk at this point. The doctors felt he was in shock and that going home to his own bed, would be best. Mom called us and asked that my husband and I meet them at their house to help get Jared up the stairs to his Green Monkey themed room.
After they arrived home, we were waiting and managed to get him upstairs and into bed. Jared never walked again. That was 7 years ago, After three days, lying in bed, with no improvement (not even to go pee), we called an ambulance. He was finally x-rayed at Humber River Hospital as having crushed his cervical vertebrae. Spent about three months in hospital before he was sent to Toronto Rehab for another three months. And that's how it went.
Jared is now effectively a quadriplegic. He needs 24-7 care, our parents had to put in a $30,000 stair-glide, the cost for PSW's day in and day out virtually bankrupted them. The business had to close and life got really dark. They did receive a settlement, years after the accident but it's not enough. My parents are a thread away from their 70's, and with the help of family, friends and a small inheritance, they leased a wheelchair van for $90,000.
Jared never smiles anymore. And that smile was his trademark. He sits in his over-priced wheelchair, I watch my parents do everything they can to give him some quality of life. Almost impossible for your average working stiffs. There is no retirement for them. But that's not my concern. My concern is, they had to move into a more wheelchair friendly home which still requires a stair-glide, quoted at $30,000. They still have to pay for the modified van.
Jared was born just a regular little boy. It wasn't his fault, or my parent's that life dealt them these cards. But as they age and their own bones creak, it's apparent that they need help. All his siblings are average working class stiffs too. None of us have extra money to help. So what can we do? I came here, to GoFundMe in hopes that someone, anyone will read this story and help me raise enough funds to at least get Jared's smile back.
Physio therapy alone ran up to $300/ hour. We've never been a family that asks for money, we've never asked for help outside of what our government allows for. It's not even close to what any family in this situation would need to properly care for a boy, now a young man, who fate has dealt the hardest blows.
So now, out of desperation, I ask for help. Our parents are getting on, we can't tolerate the idea of Jared living in a home outside his own. He deserves better than what we can give. So this is my last resort. Hoping that the kindness of those who can, will read Jared's story and be touched enough to help make this life, a life worth living, I want to see him smile again. I want to see the tears dry from our parent's eyes.
When Jared was released from rehab, my family sought out the help of Spinal Cord Injury Ontario. But not looking for funds. We were looking for a way to bring these injuries to the forefront. While Jared couldn't himself, we all joined the Wheelchair Relay and raised more that $50,000 to support this all to important organization. Jared became the poster-boy of fundraising, never for himself though.
And that's it. It's a long story but one that needs to be thoroughly told. I am not an organization. I'm just a big sister doing whatever I can to help my little brother and my parents have a decent life.
God knows they have helped more people than anyone I know. I want to help them and this is the only way I think I can.
I need help....and it's hard to ask.
Go Bear Go!
His windpipe collapsed and he suffered anoxia. He lost 4 minutes of oxygen to his brain and ended up with brain damage. He didn't walk until he was five, he's never been able to talk. He went to "special" schools and took "special" classes in regular schools. He rode the "special" school bus.
Jared was mercilessly teased, suffered abuse at the hands of a teacher and God only knows who else. Our Mom became a fighter, and then she became a winner. She and Jared have their own way of communicating. They converse without words. They both know what the other is thinking. Mom is his body guard. Both his parents are.
We, as a family, made a promise to ourselves. Jared would always have us. Now, at 38 years old, he still does. The real 'kicker' in Jared's story is, our parents did everything they could to give Jared as normal a life possible. As you can see, he's quite a handsome fella. He was a stylish dude, who loves music.
They sent him to "special" camps, not just to give themselves a break but to see that he had social activities and fun in the sun, a few weeks a summer. And they were expensive too. But my parents worked hard, had a family business, almost every penny, going into a decent life for "The Bear" (that's what we call him). His happiness and comfort know no limits. Our parents did everything. They forfeited their own 'fun' for Jared.
Fast forward to Jared, at 30, he was still going to these "special" camps. But that stopped like the force of a tsunami. The last time Jared went to his "special" camp for folks with "special" needs, was about 7 years ago now. The pictures of him at the summer dance, smiling from ear to ear, of him jumping off a diving board, wearing a life jacket, feet first into a fresh country lake were our everything.
Then the call from camp came. Jared was at Kingston, Ontario Hospital. Our parents made the dash from Toronto to find Jared lying on a gurney with a cervical collar on. Jared had fallen while getting into a sailboat. He hit his head on one of those big spools, or cleats that hold the boats ropes. His head and neck thrust violently backwards. He was bleeding profusely from the forehead. Panic came over the counselors who had known Jared for years. They got him up, walked him to the camp infirmary, he was taken to a local hospital, was stitched up and sent back to camp.
As he lay in bed after returning from the country hospital, his counselor, dutifully sitting beside him, she felt that Jared was off. This was more serious than a bump on the head. She insisted he go to a "real" hospital. He went...but when he got there, he couldn't exactly speak to how he felt.
I've never seen Jared cry. And he didn't cry then. At least not until our Mom walked in and he looked at her, without moving his neck. A tear escaped from the corner of his eye. Mom knew. She just knew that Jared would never be the same. He was released from the hospital, in a wheelchair. He couldn't walk at this point. The doctors felt he was in shock and that going home to his own bed, would be best. Mom called us and asked that my husband and I meet them at their house to help get Jared up the stairs to his Green Monkey themed room.
After they arrived home, we were waiting and managed to get him upstairs and into bed. Jared never walked again. That was 7 years ago, After three days, lying in bed, with no improvement (not even to go pee), we called an ambulance. He was finally x-rayed at Humber River Hospital as having crushed his cervical vertebrae. Spent about three months in hospital before he was sent to Toronto Rehab for another three months. And that's how it went.
Jared is now effectively a quadriplegic. He needs 24-7 care, our parents had to put in a $30,000 stair-glide, the cost for PSW's day in and day out virtually bankrupted them. The business had to close and life got really dark. They did receive a settlement, years after the accident but it's not enough. My parents are a thread away from their 70's, and with the help of family, friends and a small inheritance, they leased a wheelchair van for $90,000.
Jared never smiles anymore. And that smile was his trademark. He sits in his over-priced wheelchair, I watch my parents do everything they can to give him some quality of life. Almost impossible for your average working stiffs. There is no retirement for them. But that's not my concern. My concern is, they had to move into a more wheelchair friendly home which still requires a stair-glide, quoted at $30,000. They still have to pay for the modified van.
Jared was born just a regular little boy. It wasn't his fault, or my parent's that life dealt them these cards. But as they age and their own bones creak, it's apparent that they need help. All his siblings are average working class stiffs too. None of us have extra money to help. So what can we do? I came here, to GoFundMe in hopes that someone, anyone will read this story and help me raise enough funds to at least get Jared's smile back.
Physio therapy alone ran up to $300/ hour. We've never been a family that asks for money, we've never asked for help outside of what our government allows for. It's not even close to what any family in this situation would need to properly care for a boy, now a young man, who fate has dealt the hardest blows.
So now, out of desperation, I ask for help. Our parents are getting on, we can't tolerate the idea of Jared living in a home outside his own. He deserves better than what we can give. So this is my last resort. Hoping that the kindness of those who can, will read Jared's story and be touched enough to help make this life, a life worth living, I want to see him smile again. I want to see the tears dry from our parent's eyes.
When Jared was released from rehab, my family sought out the help of Spinal Cord Injury Ontario. But not looking for funds. We were looking for a way to bring these injuries to the forefront. While Jared couldn't himself, we all joined the Wheelchair Relay and raised more that $50,000 to support this all to important organization. Jared became the poster-boy of fundraising, never for himself though.
And that's it. It's a long story but one that needs to be thoroughly told. I am not an organization. I'm just a big sister doing whatever I can to help my little brother and my parents have a decent life.
God knows they have helped more people than anyone I know. I want to help them and this is the only way I think I can.I need help....and it's hard to ask.
Go Bear Go!
Organizer and beneficiary
Eve Ojasoo
Beneficiary