Hi there, thanks for taking the time to look at this!

My name is Lydia, but you may know me as Lyds(69). I’m an illustrator living in Kansas who is passionate about what they do and the things they make. The art I make can be described as cute and colorful with an edge, nostalgic, and with a “hand-drawn” quality. You can check it out here. My real claim to fame, however, is my infamous "My Neopet is an Honour Student at Harvard Law School'' bumper sticker that has gone viral on the internet a few times, and even made its way into a Buzzfeed article for some reason. (I also have a Webkinz version, jsyk.)

I've made this GoFundMe because my physical and mental health have deteriorated to what probably is the lowest point they've ever been at in my life thus far. It's really, really difficult for me to swallow my pride and ask for help, especially since I know it’s been a rough time for a lot of us right now, but I've gotten to the point where I need to ask for it. If I can be completely honest, I'm terrified for my well being–every day feels pretty bleak, and I have difficulty shaking the feeling that all hope is lost. It’s been really difficult to watch myself go from someone who was a capable and strong person to a husk whittled away by so many unfortunate events. I have not truly experienced joy in so long. Despite this, it’s too early for me to admit defeat just yet. I want to believe my life can change.

Some background information about what has been going on:

THE SHORT VERSION: I sustained a concussion in March of this year that has seriously thrown my life off track. I’m still continuing to experience lingering symptoms. I also have been dealing with other chronic health issues, mental health issues, and now pretty bad insomnia. I’m raising money for testing and treatment since medical expenses can be very costly, and also to just be able to survive since my ability to work has been reduced.

THE LONG VERSION:

In March of this year I sustained a concussion by hitting my head on a metal shelf at work. Come the end of June, I was starting to feel better, only to reinjure myself at home. I'm unsure if I hit my head hard enough to sustain a second concussion, but it was enough for me to experience additional symptoms and setbacks, which has been prolonging my recovery.

I'm experiencing what is known as persistent concussion symptoms, or post concussion syndrome (PCS). PCS is described as a "constellation of physical, cognitive, behavioral, and emotional symptoms occurring after traumatic brain injury or concussion. These symptoms may include a headache, fatigue, vision changes, disturbances in balance, confusion, dizziness, insomnia, neuropsychiatric symptoms, and difficulty with concentration persisting months to years after the initial concussion recovery timeline of 7 to 10 days." In my case, I've been dealing with pretty much all of those symptoms to varying degrees.

It’s not entirely clear why some people that sustain a concussion develop post concussion syndrome, but it’s hypothesized that some risk factors include being AFAB and having preexisting mental health conditions like ADHD, depression, and anxiety–which, for me, is true. Another risk factor is having had a concussion in the past, which I also unfortunately have. My first concussion was in 2019. It's also thought that persistent concussion symptoms could be due to other underlying health issues. Concussion treatment is largely misunderstood and still really in its infancy stages. There's unfortunately no specific treatment plan and a lot of healing is trial and error, or process of elimination. Since concussion treatment is not required learning in most med school curriculum, most doctors do not have a very good understanding on how to treat persistent symptoms. As a result, I've had to do a lot of research on my own via the internet and reaching out to online support groups which is a lot to juggle on top of the fatigue and other symptoms I experience on a daily basis. I've had to advocate for myself, by myself, quite a bit, which has been pretty taxing on my mental and physical health.

As of right now, I'm currently seeing a physical therapist for vestibular therapy, which has helped with my balance and cleared some of the brain fog I had been experiencing. I'm also seeing a speech therapist who has been overseeing the progress with my executive function and cognition. I’d like to also start vision therapy, as well as acupuncture, both of which I’d have to pay for out of pocket and are kind of expensive.

With PCS recovery, it’s imperative that I’m actively working towards recovery, as only resting will not help me recover. Since I’m actively seeking treatment, I’m hopeful that I can (at least mostly) fully recover, but there is no exact estimate as to when my symptoms will subside. This uncertainty is very nerve wracking at times, and has had a tremendously negative impact on my anxiety. It’s also hypothesized by some research that after a year from the injury, PCS is considered permanent if it has not resolved completely by then. There is a lot of debate on whether or not this is true though, as some that suffer from PCS improve past even three or more years. Personally, I think it's still possible to heal beyond the year mark based on personal anecdotes I've read from others that have suffered from PCS. That being said, I don’t want to risk prolonging my recovery any longer as it has been a long road already, which is largely why I’ve made this GoFundMe. I do believe that recovering from this is somewhat time sensitive, and I will need financial help in order to continue my recovery process.

To give you some additional information about concussion recovery, as a general rule, what I’ve learned is that it's best to expose yourself to the things that trigger your symptoms as much as can be tolerated in manageable doses. You may have heard that concussion recovery is merely “laying in a dark room” until your symptoms subside--this is actually really outdated and untrue advice, and doing so beyond the initial 24-48 hours can prolong recovery. Newer research has shown that concussion recovery largely is exposure therapy, in a sense. By consistently re-exposing yourself to things you used to be able to do but are currently struggling with, it’s possible to create new neural pathways in your brain through neuroplasticity. Neuroplasticity is a real, legitimate concept--it's the explanation as to how when we learn a new skill, we get better at it over time with continued practice. The same goes if brain damage has occurred. Concussions do technically cause brain damage, but your brain can retrain itself by establishing new neural pathways in different parts of your brain through neuroplasticity. That being said, recovery from post-concussion syndrome is not a linear process and involves lots of ups and downs. Sometimes I hit plateaus in my recovery by overexerting myself by accident, as it can be difficult to find the right balance between pushing myself, but not pushing myself too hard. Recovering from this is something that requires a lot of perseverance, so any support I can get during this time will make it so much easier to heal.

On top of my concussion, I’ve also been dealing with other health related issues. I also recently became aware that I have hypermobile joints, like people with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome (hEDS) or Hypermobile Spectrum Disorder (HSD). I've experienced chronic neck, shoulder, and back pain since I was a teenager, but now it's gotten to the point where it's significantly affecting my life. This past year, my chronic pain has gotten significantly worse. Earlier this month I hurt my neck merely by rolling over in bed--it hurt so badly that if I moved at all I'd scream in pain, and was bedridden for two days. After touching base with my physical therapist about these issues, she pointed out to me that I'm able to turn my neck further than the average person because of my hypermobility, causing instability. Physical therapy will help strengthen and stabilize my neck and shoulder muscles so that chronic pain can be alleviated and prevented in the long run. In the meantime, massage therapy is also very helpful in managing this issue. Luckily, my physical therapy is covered by my insurance, but I’d have to pay for massages out of pocket, which can add up in cost. I also would like to potentially start acupuncture as it's reported to have great benefits for managing chronic pain.

Most recently, I’ve been dealing with a sudden 3 week long and counting episode of debilitating insomnia. It started with not being able to sleep for 48 hours straight (very uncharacteristic of me!), and since then I’ve been struggling to get adequate sleep as I experience frequent awakenings throughout the night. In total, I’ve since averaged about 4-5 hours over the course of an entire night, but some nights I sleep as little as 2 hours. It’s unclear whether or not this is due to my concussion or a different underlying issue. Regardless, it’s severely affecting my cognition and ability to function, which already has been impaired by my concussion in the first place. I’ve been so fatigued that some days I’m unable to do even simple, fun things, like play video games because I can barely concentrate since my brain will feel so fried from the combination of my concussion and lack of sleep. Sleep is already important as it is, but when you're dealing with health issues it's absolutely crucial to get adequate sleep to heal. I’d honestly really like to get a sleep study done, but my doctor isn’t yet convinced on ordering one for me. I’ve done a bit of research and have found that sometimes hormonal imbalances can occur after sustaining a concussion though, which may result in poor sleep. In the meantime, I’d like to make an appointment with an endocrinologist to at least rule out the possibility of such if nothing else, but I’d have to pay out of pocket at the clinic I’d like to go to.

And lastly (as of right now, anyways…), my mental health, which has been an ongoing issue for quite some time now. I won’t delve too much into what has been happening outside of my medical stuff, but these past two years have been pretty rough for me. All within the course of a year from the beginning of 2022 to the beginning 2023, I ended a 6 year long relationship, went into a ton of credit card debt due to financial insecurity, attempted to go back to school but had to drop out, had a major falling out with one of my closest friends, went into even more debt because my cat needed life saving medical treatment, was let go from my main job, and then the start of a major health crisis, which has led me to move back in with my parents. Though these are the main events that have transpired, there have been many more less severe (but still very stressful) events sprinkled in the midst. With an already unstable foundation, a concussion can really cause pre-existing issues to boil over. Now I’m experiencing such a dramatic loss of autonomy which has had a very poor effect on my mental health. As someone who prides themselves on being an independent, self-reliant person, it’s been incredibly difficult to cope with how much I’ve lost over this past year. I’ve felt like things couldn’t possibly have gotten even worse for so long now, yet every month or two that passes, somehow things really do manage to actually get worse.

All of the issues I’m struggling with seem to be exacerbating each other in different ways, and even possibly creating a domino effect and causing new issues to arise. I need to be able to take action to prevent things from getting any worse than they already have gotten, and then hopefully from there it will start to get better, but I can’t do this without adequate funds. Which leads us to…

…THE NUMBERS:

For right now, I'm trying to raise $8000 USD to cover my main expenses for the next 4 months (maybe 5-6 if I can stretch it out), give or take. This evens out to $500/wk, or $2000/mo, plus an additional $250 to cover the amount that GFM will take from donations. I know this is a HUGE ask, and I’ve honestly delayed making this because I feel guilty asking for this much, but I won’t be able to get through my recovery without adequate funds.

Here’s a rough breakdown of the costs:

- Medical expenses, naturally – approximately $1000-$1500/mo. This is obviously the biggest one. This includes money for appointments (physical therapy, mental health therapy, and massage therapy), medications, and emergency visits. As I mentioned, I would also like to start looking into seeing a neuro-optometrist for vision therapy since I've been dealing with some convergence insufficiency issues, which isn't uncommon after sustaining a concussion, and can sometimes manifest as cognitive issues and fatigue. I’m very fortunate to have health insurance with low copays (shoutout to healthcare.gov), which covers my physical therapy. However, healthcare.gov insurance is unfortunately not accepted at a lot of the private clinics where I live, so for some of my treatment I’ve had to and will continue to have to pay out of pocket for, and expenses really add up. For vision therapy for example, I was quoted that my initial evaluation will cost $250 out of pocket (which is going to occur on 10/11), and it will cost $150 for each visit following. Adults generally need 12-15 appointments for rehabilitation according to the clinic I’ll be going to, which occur weekly–so an average total of $2000. I also want to make an appointment with a hormone specialist to rule out potential causes of my insomnia and other symptoms, for which I was quoted $250.

- Food – $300/mo. Because we all have to eat. And damn, food is so expensive right now. For full transparency, I will use food money for both groceries and take out. With where my health is right now, I can't realistically cook all of my meals, but I really need to make sure I am eating regardless as I’ve been neglecting to keep myself properly fed.

- Other bills – $200/mo. While I'm not having to pay rent at the moment I'm unfortunately currently in credit card debt that I'm not really in the place to fully pay off completely. My current minimum monthly payments are about $200 a month.

- Enrichment, recreation, self care, and other misc. expenses – $whatever is left over. With a traumatic brain injury, it's crucial to my recovery to get out into the world and re-expose myself to things that trigger my symptoms and also try to live as normally as possible to promote neuroplasticity, so my brain can re-establish neural pathways after being damaged. Also, being able to do things that also just boosts my mood in general will ultimately make full recovery so much more attainable.

Phew.. I know that was kind of a lot, so THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart if you took the time to read all of that. Making this is kind of embarrassing for me as it’s hard to be vulnerable about how much I’ve been struggling, but I keep getting pushed deeper into a hole and I don't think I can escape it alone. Plus, everyone goes through tough times and I think we can all benefit from learning to ask for help, you know? Even though this road has been so very far from perfect, I’m trying my best to be proactive and stay as positive as I can despite life pulling the rug out from underneath my feet. Truly, anything helps. I appreciate any support during such a turbulent time in my life. <3

P.S. You can also support me by purchasing from my online store!

<3 lyds