Help Love Multiply, Berry's Infertility Journey

I meet my husband when I was 16, little did I know that he was my forever. We went our separate ways until fate brought us back together ten years later. Fast forward to when we got married in 2015 and two years later, we started trying to expand our family. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and all in God’s timing. However, I started really dealing with depression after trying to do all the things we knew to do to have a baby, and month after month was a disappointment. It weighed heavy on both of us. We are both very private people and besides family and a very few close friends, this is the first time we are sharing our story.

The only people who knew that I was struggling with my depression was my mom and sister. Every month was torture, waiting to see if THIS was the month. I religiously tracked the dates and when I was a day late, I would start to get excited. Going through the motions, running through my head how I would share the exciting news to Anthony. I had it planned out perfectly, taking him to our favorite restaurant. (a little Mexican restaurant that he loved) - have the waitress bring a cake out after finishing dinner that said, “From Fur Daddy to Baby Daddy”; seeing the joy on his face. Just to find out the next day or sometimes even four days later it was not the month. After trying for a year and being broken every month, we started to get angry at each other, mostly because he didn’t know what mental and emotional torture I was going through. We had to take a break. So, we would stop and then try again, it was a vicious cycle. I was going to my regular checkups, taking the vitamins needed. After years of agony my sister really pushed me to just go in to make sure there wasn’t something they could do to help us with the process IF we needed it. I set up an appointment with an infertility specialist and after both completing the initial process of testing and exams, it was like a bomb was dropped in our laps.

The doctor let us know that there was a major reason why we were not conceiving after all these years, and it was something completely out of our control. It is called a Balanced Translocation. This is genetically passed down, and the only issue from it is when you are trying to conceive. If you aren’t familiar with it, Balanced Translocation is when the DNA strand on one side is normal and on the other side two chromosomes  have  split off and reconnected in opposite locations.  With a balanced translocation there is an extremely high percentage of miscarriage IF you do get pregnant; and if you do end up carrying to term, there is a higher chance that your baby could be disformed or born with a disability.

In order to conceive our only option will be to go through the IVF process and then take it one step further by having testing completed to confirm we don’t have a Balanced Translocation. After finding a Fertility Specialist in Tampa, they have communicated one round of IVF treatment as well as the genetic testing will cost $20,000 which is the purpose of writing our story. 

Many people in our lives will be shocked to hear this has been going on for almost five years. We have prepared ourselves for the questions and comments that will come, many of which we have dodged by facing these difficulties with only a few.

All that to say, we can NOT do this without you. The deeper we get into this, the harder it is to pretend like life is great because there is a part of us that is missing. 

Sharing our story, could result in two things. With your help, we would be able to take the next step in our journey and become pregnant! And secondly, if there are any couples reading this that are facing the challenges of infertility, we encourage you to share your story!! There is a perception that infertility is not “normal” to speak of because it’s too personal. We know firsthand how it has affected our life and without the support of our small circle, our story wouldn’t have made it this far. Overall, this is a scary thing for us to discuss and if there are others dealing with this too, we'd love to hear from you! If our story can help other couples, we will have found our purpose in all of this!!

We believe that God only gives you what you can handle, and we know that we have been placed on this Earth to be parents. Our lives will not be complete without expanding our family, and we want nothing more. We appreciate all the love and support and we are hopeful for the next step!!