Pre-pandemic, I had a variety of experience in a few industry sectors but focused my energy working in the theatre and nonprofit sectors that were at least questioning the system. As many of us experienced, COVID-19 really just illuminated the issues of the web of systems we all exist within. Like big, bright floodlights. I knew I was sacrificing some part of living, happiness, rest in the name of art, action, education. However, the depth of that sacrifice continually shocked me as I began unraveling the mess of myself I had made. Existing on fumes and empty promises made by myself and others, I had also realized how harmful that was and could continue to be to myself and in my communities. 

 

I realized I needed to stop treating myself with such minimal respect and care. 

 

I've been luckier/more resourced than others: able to stay in my home, still have some opportunities to do some of what I do from safe distances, stay mostly fed, having most of my basics taken care of. 

 

But living is not just having one's basic needs taken care of.

 

“One is responsible to life: It is the small beacon in that terrifying darkness from which we come and to which we shall return.” -James Baldwin

 

I'm ready to accept my responsibility to life. 

 

One of the integral keys to my healing was being in relationship with the land I inhabit and have chosen to steward. Last summer, like so many with newfound hours in their days, I spent majority of my time in the dirt, with the sun licking my skin. With my small starter garden and all of my beginner mistakes, I was able to subsidize a tiny portion of our food intake, but I was getting a taste of what potentially could reset my thinking towards my mental health and getting my needs met.

 

I've been researching a lot about decolonizing practices in food growth, leading me towards more sustainable, diverse food production that better mimics natural patterns so therefore adding benefactors with longevity to the larger ecosystem. A part of my budget is to honor these mentors and educators, of whom I am prioritizing QTBIPOC voices, with adequate energy exchange, which we all should be going above and beyond for, especially Black and Native Queers continually defying the system.

 

This year, I plan on planting trees, shrubs, and other perennials across the land in a layered, edible forest (which will be a long term project that is important to start sooner than later), while also having some specific garden beds for annual foods. In this beginning phase, it is important to me to start the trees and shrubs soon as it is a multi-year process before seeing the fruits of labor. The initial investment is steep but often pays back in abundance. Plants, like humans, like community and therefore thrive when in contact with compatible plants, and because of the fruitful diversity, attracts other great beings like bees, butterflies, etc. 

 

I've been blessed to live on an acre and a bit of land that I am stewarding with my partner, Wes. Both of us are queer, gender expansive people of color, artists, neurodivergent, nature enthusiasts. In future dreaming and intentions, we would be ecstatic to share this space with partners, children, found family, those in need of space to reground themselves from the toxicity of the world for those of us who exist at the intersections of a multitude of oppresions. I’m hopeful of the ways this land will be resonant of beautiful resistance.

 

And reparations are past due.

 

Art and creative expression are still integral to me and how I want to offer my voice to the world, but I know that I can no longer afford to sacrifice myself to run the wheel of this industrial, capitalist mask of sharing art. I am intentionally pulling back to projects that are safe, reciprocal, and are actively dismantling oppressive habits. In a society where arts and arts education have scarce money and resources, I know this will be a challenge to sustain myself by “lessening my options”, but it is the perfect opportunity to be the change I hope to see in my communities by finding more ways to find wealth outside of purely financial restrictions.

 

Thank you for coming to this, reading, and supporting through donations, sharing with your circles, and/or sending some energetic healing my way. I hope this inspires you to take the next step for your own healing as well.

 

With rest, laughter, and liberation,

 

Lia

Budget:

Greenhouse for extended and early growing $1500

Raised bed materials $1500

Starting seeds, seedlings, shrubs, and trees $1000

Soil, amendments, and preparations $1000

Tools $2000

Rent and living expenses subsidy $5000

Payment to QTBIPOC-led radical workshops and learning materials $evolving

Fees to GFM