Donation protected
Lenora Graham and Family Need Your Help
In late August Lenora was stricken with something that resulted in significant memory loss. She has now exhausted her Paid Time Off, and we've been struggling to get by. We have no savings left, and our parents are unable to help us further. Once she is diagnosed we can begin to understand why this is happening and we can begin to apply for benefits.
Lenora's circumstances should qualify for FMLA. However, Lenora's employer has brought up termination since we haven't been able to get the paperwork signed off by a doctor. Our access to healthcare in Reno has been compromised by the pandemic, and because we can no longer afford to pay our deductible.
As of today, November 9th, we have less than $50 and are facing our only car getting repossessed. We are unable to pay any bills or rent, or the staggering medical bills looming ahead.
For those of you who know us, Lenora and I have experienced a rocky relationship in the past five years. In March of this year, just as the nation locked down for COVID, I moved out. We were planning on getting divorced, but the lockdown shut down the courts, so I never filed the paperwork.
Whatever happened to Lenora completely erased her memory of wanting to get divorced. Since she has no family on the west coast, I have moved back in with her, and it would seem we are not getting divorced after all. That is the silver lining for us in this tragedy. No matter what happens, I will take care of her. If we end up in a cardboard box, at least we will have each other.
We Need Urgent Financial Help
Our $10,000 Goal
The goal is equivalent to two months of Lenora's pay. This will get us through this weird limbo period until we can file for disability. Once she's on disability, and once she's receiving treatment, I'm confident we'll be able to figure things out. Until then, we remain desperate and terrified. Lenora has been too ashamed to ask for help, or to even share that this has been going on. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also ashamed to have to ask for help.
Can You Help?
I know that we aren't the only ones struggling, but I also know that there are people out there doing extraordinary things to help those in need. I am hoping that this message reaches some of those people.
Can We Give Back?
We hate begging like this, we truly do, but these are desperate times and we need an extraordinary solution. However, we are a family of artists. Lenora has helped raise my two kids since the ages of 2 and 3, and now they're almost grown and they want to help her, too. They are artists, I am an artist, and we are happy to give something back in return for your donation.
SERIES OF EVENTS:
PLEASE READ BELOW AND TELL ME IF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
Late August:
This summer Lenora and I were still hanging out a lot. Partially because the kids wanted to come over and I can't have them at my place, and partially because, despite wanting to get divorced, Lenora and I have been best friends for 15 years, and lockdown had gotten lonely for both of us.
The last two weeks of August Lenora was incredibly stressed out. She has been managing General Anxiety Disorder for the entirety of our relationship, and I have seen her through some incredibly stressful times. But at this point her stress level and anxiety were at a high I had never witnessed. She was in fear of losing her job -- a credible and imminent threat, as her North Carolina-based employer had lost the national contract with the client Lenora was servicing here in Reno. There was a chance the client would hire her directly, but Lenora and I know that there are never any guarantees, so we were very worried and depressed at the thought of another job hunt.
She has since lost the opportunity to get hired by the client, as Lenora was still too ill to be considered. Right now, the only thing protecting her from termination is the knowledge that she will qualify for FMLA.
In mid-August she learned her mother had gotten into a car accident while driving drunk. Lenora's stress skyrocketed at the thought she might have to go to New York to assess and help her mother, who lives alone, all while facing the prospect of unemployment. I was coming over in the afternoons so that she could get her work done. After the news of her mother, she became so stressed that she couldn't keep any food down, and for a week and a half she would throw up almost constantly. We couldn't watch a movie or TV show because she'd have to keep getting up for the bathroom.
Early September:
I can't remember the exact date, but it was the first week of September that I came over one afternoon, and Lenora looked stoned, and I could tell right away something was very wrong. She couldn't open her eyes all the way, and her eyes were crossed. She was complaining of double vision, headaches, and extreme vertigo. She couldn't walk without assistance, and she was slurring her speech.
The scariest thing was when she asked me where Roper was. Roper was my dog of 11 years. I had gotten him to be my service dog, and he had been an integral part of my recovery from my suicide attempt in 2009. But earlier this year I had to put him down. It had been devastating to me, and had deeply impacted Lenora as well as everyone else in the family. When she asked me where he was, I can't even tell you how scary that was. I was very worried, and began to stay the night with her to keep on eye on things. I had vowed that I would take her to the hospital if it didn't get better, and it didn't. I was worried that she had suffered a stroke. Every day she was very confused, couldn't remember little things from fifteen minutes earlier, and as a result her anxiety exploded and she started alternating between having panic attacks and getting very depressed pretty much all day.
50 First Dates:
If you've seen the movie 50 First Dates, you'll have an idea what I am trying to describe. While the symptoms portrayed in that film were called by a fictional name, they very closely resemble a real condition called anterograde amnesia. I think that is the closest thing I can find to explain what has happened. However, anterograde amnesia usually comes from a brain injury, and Lenora didn't hit her head or fall down or anything like that. Anterograde amnesia can also be caused by the very same drugs used to treat anxiety and panic attacks -- Benzodiazepine and related drugs -- but Lenora hasn't been on those for years. It can also be caused by alcohol abuse, but Lenora had cut way back on her drinking by this point.
I Took Her to the Emergency Room:
On September 7th I took her to the ER. She was very confused, and was crying a lot. She has been fighting tears basically every day since this has happened. It has been terribly frightening for her. I explained to them that I thought she had suffered a stroke. They gave her some ativan to calm her down, and took her for a CT scan. They said there was no sign of stroke. They said it was probably stress-related, and to see our family doctor.
I took her to Reno Behavioral Health:
The soonest we could be seen by our doctor was September 30th, and that was too long. So the next week I took her to Reno Behavioral Health, and we explained the same set of symptoms to them as we did at the ER. The nurse took her back, left me in the waiting room for two hours, and then sent us home. They never talked to me, they didn't give me anything in terms of follow-up steps or appointments, nothing. I was really upset at that, and felt that they had totally blown us off. Lenora has no recollection of this day whatsoever.
We Saw Our Family Doctor:
Finally, on 9/30 we saw our doctor, and she took it very seriously. She said that we needed to see both a neurologist and a psychiatrist, and that between those specialties they'd be able to find a diagnosis. She also explained that those were the doctors who would have to fill out FMLA and Disability paperwork. So she put the referrals in, as well as scheduled bloodwork. She also told us that this memory loss could be permanent. From that point, Lenora's depression got even worse.
The blood tests came back, and in the follow-up appointment our doctor prescribed Folic Acid, Zinc, Quetiapine 50mg to help Lenora sleep, and doubled her Prozac dose to 40mg. So far, this seems to be helping. She can get to sleep right away, sleeps through the night, and isn't waking up as anxious as she was.
Unfortunately, we're still waiting to even schedule an appointment with either neurology or a psychiatrist.
Please Spread the Word:
So far, I am doing ok, and have been able to rise to the challenge of helping Lenora through this. Every day I have to reassure her that everything is going to be ok somehow, and I need your help to make these reassurances come true.
Please Donate If You Can
Thank you,
Gabriel Graham on behalf of Lenora Graham
In late August Lenora was stricken with something that resulted in significant memory loss. She has now exhausted her Paid Time Off, and we've been struggling to get by. We have no savings left, and our parents are unable to help us further. Once she is diagnosed we can begin to understand why this is happening and we can begin to apply for benefits.
Lenora's circumstances should qualify for FMLA. However, Lenora's employer has brought up termination since we haven't been able to get the paperwork signed off by a doctor. Our access to healthcare in Reno has been compromised by the pandemic, and because we can no longer afford to pay our deductible.
As of today, November 9th, we have less than $50 and are facing our only car getting repossessed. We are unable to pay any bills or rent, or the staggering medical bills looming ahead.
For those of you who know us, Lenora and I have experienced a rocky relationship in the past five years. In March of this year, just as the nation locked down for COVID, I moved out. We were planning on getting divorced, but the lockdown shut down the courts, so I never filed the paperwork.
Whatever happened to Lenora completely erased her memory of wanting to get divorced. Since she has no family on the west coast, I have moved back in with her, and it would seem we are not getting divorced after all. That is the silver lining for us in this tragedy. No matter what happens, I will take care of her. If we end up in a cardboard box, at least we will have each other.
We Need Urgent Financial Help
Our $10,000 Goal
The goal is equivalent to two months of Lenora's pay. This will get us through this weird limbo period until we can file for disability. Once she's on disability, and once she's receiving treatment, I'm confident we'll be able to figure things out. Until then, we remain desperate and terrified. Lenora has been too ashamed to ask for help, or to even share that this has been going on. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't also ashamed to have to ask for help.
Can You Help?
I know that we aren't the only ones struggling, but I also know that there are people out there doing extraordinary things to help those in need. I am hoping that this message reaches some of those people.
Can We Give Back?
We hate begging like this, we truly do, but these are desperate times and we need an extraordinary solution. However, we are a family of artists. Lenora has helped raise my two kids since the ages of 2 and 3, and now they're almost grown and they want to help her, too. They are artists, I am an artist, and we are happy to give something back in return for your donation.
SERIES OF EVENTS:
PLEASE READ BELOW AND TELL ME IF YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED
Late August:
This summer Lenora and I were still hanging out a lot. Partially because the kids wanted to come over and I can't have them at my place, and partially because, despite wanting to get divorced, Lenora and I have been best friends for 15 years, and lockdown had gotten lonely for both of us.
The last two weeks of August Lenora was incredibly stressed out. She has been managing General Anxiety Disorder for the entirety of our relationship, and I have seen her through some incredibly stressful times. But at this point her stress level and anxiety were at a high I had never witnessed. She was in fear of losing her job -- a credible and imminent threat, as her North Carolina-based employer had lost the national contract with the client Lenora was servicing here in Reno. There was a chance the client would hire her directly, but Lenora and I know that there are never any guarantees, so we were very worried and depressed at the thought of another job hunt.
She has since lost the opportunity to get hired by the client, as Lenora was still too ill to be considered. Right now, the only thing protecting her from termination is the knowledge that she will qualify for FMLA.
In mid-August she learned her mother had gotten into a car accident while driving drunk. Lenora's stress skyrocketed at the thought she might have to go to New York to assess and help her mother, who lives alone, all while facing the prospect of unemployment. I was coming over in the afternoons so that she could get her work done. After the news of her mother, she became so stressed that she couldn't keep any food down, and for a week and a half she would throw up almost constantly. We couldn't watch a movie or TV show because she'd have to keep getting up for the bathroom.
Early September:
I can't remember the exact date, but it was the first week of September that I came over one afternoon, and Lenora looked stoned, and I could tell right away something was very wrong. She couldn't open her eyes all the way, and her eyes were crossed. She was complaining of double vision, headaches, and extreme vertigo. She couldn't walk without assistance, and she was slurring her speech.
The scariest thing was when she asked me where Roper was. Roper was my dog of 11 years. I had gotten him to be my service dog, and he had been an integral part of my recovery from my suicide attempt in 2009. But earlier this year I had to put him down. It had been devastating to me, and had deeply impacted Lenora as well as everyone else in the family. When she asked me where he was, I can't even tell you how scary that was. I was very worried, and began to stay the night with her to keep on eye on things. I had vowed that I would take her to the hospital if it didn't get better, and it didn't. I was worried that she had suffered a stroke. Every day she was very confused, couldn't remember little things from fifteen minutes earlier, and as a result her anxiety exploded and she started alternating between having panic attacks and getting very depressed pretty much all day.
50 First Dates:
If you've seen the movie 50 First Dates, you'll have an idea what I am trying to describe. While the symptoms portrayed in that film were called by a fictional name, they very closely resemble a real condition called anterograde amnesia. I think that is the closest thing I can find to explain what has happened. However, anterograde amnesia usually comes from a brain injury, and Lenora didn't hit her head or fall down or anything like that. Anterograde amnesia can also be caused by the very same drugs used to treat anxiety and panic attacks -- Benzodiazepine and related drugs -- but Lenora hasn't been on those for years. It can also be caused by alcohol abuse, but Lenora had cut way back on her drinking by this point.
I Took Her to the Emergency Room:
On September 7th I took her to the ER. She was very confused, and was crying a lot. She has been fighting tears basically every day since this has happened. It has been terribly frightening for her. I explained to them that I thought she had suffered a stroke. They gave her some ativan to calm her down, and took her for a CT scan. They said there was no sign of stroke. They said it was probably stress-related, and to see our family doctor.
I took her to Reno Behavioral Health:
The soonest we could be seen by our doctor was September 30th, and that was too long. So the next week I took her to Reno Behavioral Health, and we explained the same set of symptoms to them as we did at the ER. The nurse took her back, left me in the waiting room for two hours, and then sent us home. They never talked to me, they didn't give me anything in terms of follow-up steps or appointments, nothing. I was really upset at that, and felt that they had totally blown us off. Lenora has no recollection of this day whatsoever.
We Saw Our Family Doctor:
Finally, on 9/30 we saw our doctor, and she took it very seriously. She said that we needed to see both a neurologist and a psychiatrist, and that between those specialties they'd be able to find a diagnosis. She also explained that those were the doctors who would have to fill out FMLA and Disability paperwork. So she put the referrals in, as well as scheduled bloodwork. She also told us that this memory loss could be permanent. From that point, Lenora's depression got even worse.
The blood tests came back, and in the follow-up appointment our doctor prescribed Folic Acid, Zinc, Quetiapine 50mg to help Lenora sleep, and doubled her Prozac dose to 40mg. So far, this seems to be helping. She can get to sleep right away, sleeps through the night, and isn't waking up as anxious as she was.
Unfortunately, we're still waiting to even schedule an appointment with either neurology or a psychiatrist.
Please Spread the Word:
So far, I am doing ok, and have been able to rise to the challenge of helping Lenora through this. Every day I have to reassure her that everything is going to be ok somehow, and I need your help to make these reassurances come true.
Please Donate If You Can
Thank you,
Gabriel Graham on behalf of Lenora Graham
Organizer
Gabriel Traverso
Organizer
Reno, NV