Help Lennie move to Tennessee

My mother is one of the smartest people I’ve ever known. She was a reference librarian for many years so she learned a little about a lot of things. However, several years ago she started showing signs of deteriorating brain function. I first noticed it when she couldn’t remember words. A woman whose life was centered on words could somehow not articulate them. Then she couldn’t follow instructions. Then she began to not care about taking care of herself, and having no interest in life. It became clear that I needed to move her closer to me. Besides that, her house (in California) is just not good for her any longer, with no bedroom or bathing facility downstairs. Working toward the goal of relocating her, I found several beautiful assisted living homes near me in Tennessee.

This relocation was thwarted though as sadly, back in June my mother got a very bad infection which attacked her body in unimaginable ways. She lost her ability to stand or walk, ended up in the hospital, got pneumonia, and went into kidney failure. She ended up on dialysis and a ton of antibiotics which caused terrible fungal infections on both the inside and outside of her body. She spent a few weeks in the hospital, then went to a rehab facility, and is now in a residential care facility. All of this has also caused her brain to get even foggier. God answered one of our prayers and her kidney function came back to normal with no need for any more dialysis! However, it’s been months since this all happened and she is still not standing or walking, and her mental confusion and agitation seems to be worsening. She still recognizes everyone in person and on the phone, and can even tell that she’s having mental confusion. She’s been checked by doctors and there doesn’t seem to be anything physically wrong that would inhibit her from being able to walk. She is just not in a facility that can help her. And unfortunately, care in California is more expensive than what we can afford.

I am working on cleaning out her home – my childhood home – and preparing to sell it, which means that I am 2,000 miles from my own home, my friends, my life, and I am desperate to get back to all I’m missing. But, taking care of Mom from Tennessee is just not possible. I have more than one “home” willing to take her in if I can get her to Tennessee but the answer to getting her there is not an easy one. She can’t stand so can’t transfer herself from a wheelchair to an airplane seat. I would have to hire a nurse to travel with her, but most airlines require that the passenger be able to transfer on his/her own. Her dementia is also a problem though. The travel will cause confusion, and she has been prone lately to having tantrums, screaming that she wants to go home. I worry about an airplane needing to turn back or make an emergency landing to get her off the plane. If that happened, who knows where she could end up. And because of her immobility, I can’t drive her in my car or even a RV because I cannot physically lift her into or out of vehicles.

The other option is a medical transport company which is an expensive option but seems to be my only one. They would take Mom on either a stretcher or hospital bed in an appropriately equipped passenger van or motor home. A nurse travels with her, and there are two drivers who switch off so that there is no stopping overnight, completing the drive in 30 – 36 hours. Medicare doesn’t cover transportation charges unless it is for a medical reason. 

My mother is only 84 and even if I only have a short time left with her, I’d love for us to be able to visit daily. I am, of course, hoping for many more years with her, and feel that I can find the right kind of care for her if she were close to me. Also, Tennessee has wonderful healthcare, and specialists of all kinds can be found throughout the state. With the right skilled nursing facility which offers physical and occupational therapy, a dementia care regimented program, the right kinds of healthy food, and socialization, I believe she can improve. She’ll never be the woman she was before dementia took over, but I want the chance to give her the happiest end of years that is possible.

I’m am setting up this page to ask for donations to help cover the cost of her transportation, for which I have gotten quotes from $11,000 to $13,000. In addition, we need to pay the deposit to whichever assisted living facility will take her and the first month’s rent as we wait for the proceeds from the sale of her house to be deposited into the trust. Her checking and savings accounts will be depleted at the end of November from paying the residential care facility as well as the house expenses for that last four months. I humbly ask that you consider blessing us with some financial assistance if you are able. God bless you for your consideration.