I never imagined I’d be here again.

About a year ago, I had to ask for help in this same way and it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. I’ve always been the person who figures it out. I’ve had to survive on my own since a young age because I don’t come from a supportive family, and asking for help has never been something I’ve felt safe doing.

But right now, I don’t have a choice.

Over the past year, everything that could go wrong, has.

I was laid off during a mass layoff caused by embezzlement within the company. The business couldn’t recover, and my job disappeared overnight. Shortly after that, I was fortunate to land another role, however, I was never paid for the months of consulting work I performed for this company. I’m now in pending litigation just trying to collect money I already earned.

Then my car was stolen just before Christmas Eve.

Since then, I’ve been forced to rent a vehicle month-to-month to take care of my kids, get them to and from school and play rehearsals, just survive. The cost is crushing, but there’s no alternative.

I’ve applied to job after job after job. I’ve rewritten my resume, networked, followed up, stayed hopeful. And still nothing. It’s tough for companies after the holidays, I get it, but it’s depressing.

The local assistance programs here are no longer accepting new applicants because their funding has run out. Every door I’ve knocked on has been closed.

I am exhausted. I am scared. And I am at the end of what I can carry alone.

I have children who depend on me. And while their dad, Josh, is working again after his own layoff due to company downsizing, his income simply isn’t enough to carry our family at this time. He’s trying, but this economy requires a two income household to survive.

Every time I feel like we’re finally catching up, something else hits. Another setback. Another bill. Another reminder that we’re one step away from losing everything.

I want to be honest about how dark this has gotten.

There have been moments where I’ve wondered if my life insurance policy would take better care of my kids than I can right now. That thought alone scares me. I don’t want to leave this world. I want to be here for my kids. But that’s how desperate this situation has become.

I hate asking for help and feeling like a burden. I hate putting my life on display. I hate feeling like I’ve failed.

But what I hate more is the idea of my children being homeless because I was too proud to ask for help.

If you’re able to donate—anything at all—it will go directly toward keeping a roof over our heads, transportation so I can keep my kids lives as normal as possible, and basic survival while I fight to get back on my feet.

If you can’t donate, sharing this means more than you know.

I am not lazy. I am not careless. I am not giving up. I just feel so unlucky despite my intentions and abilities.

I am a mother doing everything in her power to keep her family safe.

Thank you for reading. Thank you for caring. Thank you for helping us breathe again.

With gratitude,

Kristin