Help Kris Move Into Safe Home & cover dental fees
Donation protected
Hello everyone!! TRIGGER WARNING FOR: emotional/physical abuse, SA mentioned not described, trauma, and ableist term censored
My name is Kris and I am a queer Black woman trying to move out to have a safe home environment and afford some dental expenses. Honestly I am truly embarrassed about asking for help but I absolutely need this survival fund so I can work on my mental health and help my teeth. So first thing, I moved back home with my mom almost 3 yrs ago after graduating school. It has been an extremely toxic and emotionally draining environment from jump like I knew it would be but I couldn't afford anything until recently. Every week I am experiencing some form of emotional abuse that is bullying me, calling me lazy or other names, trying to monitor my finances. If there is even a week of no arguing I become excited but that rarely happens.
I love my mother because she is my mom but our relationship is detrimental to my emotional health. COVID made it worse with having to be at home constantly instead of out working so Ive been experiencing even more emotional turmoil with my mother threatening to kick me out every other week because I don't want to/can't do something for her or any other obscene reason. I am not allowed to drink in this house, stay out late, I have lived here for almost 23 years and never was allowed to have friends over except when my dad passed away and just for those two weeks until his funeral. Up until recently I couldn't even close the door to my room and my mother threatened to take the hinges off last summer because I didn't answer a phone call to get her food. I am not joking this is how she is and it makes me so sad and embarrassed to write this shit out. I contribute to household bills and am told I can't do anything here because it's not my house.
It's been extremely hard to live here because my mother was my first bully and continues to do things to hurt my feelings talking about my weight, my natural hair, my skin being darker (she is light skin and Creole), that I don't contribute anything to the house etc. There have been times where she has gotten in my face and threatened to assault me while I am an adult, not a child but it wouldn't be okay either way. If I even dare go to get myself food or groceries and don't do anything for her I am called lazy and selfish even though my monthly income is less than half of hers. My mom is extremely homophobic among other things and it is really hard to stay here listening to the stuff she tells her friends and family. If she knew I am queer she would have already kicked me out a long time ago. My mother enjoys humiliating me by calling to tell her friends when Im doing things she doesn't like so they can agree Im not mature etc. I need to get the fuck out this house because my trauma and triggers are all in here. I remember every time my mom bragged about pulling me by my hair or hitting/punchin me as a kid because I wasn't listening. Or when she told her friends and family about my sexual assault at 14 and they blamed me for being fast, then she spent 2 months waking me up between 12-3AM interrogating me about the assault and calling me a whore. Or the times I had my face shoved in the sink and the water was on because I didn't want to do something as a child. There is honestly so much more that I repressed just to survive here to move out. Every time I do something that she doesn't agree with she spends weeks telling me about how "St*pid" I am etc. I can't even do my therapy sessions in my room unless she is asleep or I go in my car because she will eaves drop and ask me why I was telling my therapist certain things. And if I try to have talks with her about how she has made me feel or what she has done she says I am exaggerating and lying.
I remember all the fights she had with my father, stepping between them to have it not get physical, seeing the physical fights to the point where the house got fucked up crying, watching them destroy each others things. being brought into their marital problems. And when I wasn't experiencing emotional abuse from my mom or watching their awful marriage, I spent my first 3 years in adulthood trying to help my father stay sober from his addictions. He eventually passed away in this house due to illnesses from his addictions and because my mother does not allow me to eat in my room the only clean place in the house (she has been hoarding since he died) is on the couch where he passed away. I want to live in a clean home that I am happy to come to and not have yelling
So donating to this would be you helping me mentally/emotionally because I can't do this anymore. I am at my wits end. I recently got approved for an apartment but I would need assistance for the deposit, first months rent, moving supplies, some new furniture, etc. and because it is LA I have averaged out the cost for this to be around $3k
The other $3k is for orthodontic costs because my dental insurance denied my dentist's payment referral but she has informed me that I have put this off for a few years and bite/tooth alignment has slowly gotten worse.
The last $1k is for gfm fees and any other unforeseen things. I will be ecstatic if I just get the first half of my fund because I can afford to have nice things in a home that is my own and will be fine to figure out the dental costs down the line. Thank you if you read all of this because I know it was a lot but this is what I have been going through.
My name is Kris and I am a queer Black woman trying to move out to have a safe home environment and afford some dental expenses. Honestly I am truly embarrassed about asking for help but I absolutely need this survival fund so I can work on my mental health and help my teeth. So first thing, I moved back home with my mom almost 3 yrs ago after graduating school. It has been an extremely toxic and emotionally draining environment from jump like I knew it would be but I couldn't afford anything until recently. Every week I am experiencing some form of emotional abuse that is bullying me, calling me lazy or other names, trying to monitor my finances. If there is even a week of no arguing I become excited but that rarely happens.
I love my mother because she is my mom but our relationship is detrimental to my emotional health. COVID made it worse with having to be at home constantly instead of out working so Ive been experiencing even more emotional turmoil with my mother threatening to kick me out every other week because I don't want to/can't do something for her or any other obscene reason. I am not allowed to drink in this house, stay out late, I have lived here for almost 23 years and never was allowed to have friends over except when my dad passed away and just for those two weeks until his funeral. Up until recently I couldn't even close the door to my room and my mother threatened to take the hinges off last summer because I didn't answer a phone call to get her food. I am not joking this is how she is and it makes me so sad and embarrassed to write this shit out. I contribute to household bills and am told I can't do anything here because it's not my house.
It's been extremely hard to live here because my mother was my first bully and continues to do things to hurt my feelings talking about my weight, my natural hair, my skin being darker (she is light skin and Creole), that I don't contribute anything to the house etc. There have been times where she has gotten in my face and threatened to assault me while I am an adult, not a child but it wouldn't be okay either way. If I even dare go to get myself food or groceries and don't do anything for her I am called lazy and selfish even though my monthly income is less than half of hers. My mom is extremely homophobic among other things and it is really hard to stay here listening to the stuff she tells her friends and family. If she knew I am queer she would have already kicked me out a long time ago. My mother enjoys humiliating me by calling to tell her friends when Im doing things she doesn't like so they can agree Im not mature etc. I need to get the fuck out this house because my trauma and triggers are all in here. I remember every time my mom bragged about pulling me by my hair or hitting/punchin me as a kid because I wasn't listening. Or when she told her friends and family about my sexual assault at 14 and they blamed me for being fast, then she spent 2 months waking me up between 12-3AM interrogating me about the assault and calling me a whore. Or the times I had my face shoved in the sink and the water was on because I didn't want to do something as a child. There is honestly so much more that I repressed just to survive here to move out. Every time I do something that she doesn't agree with she spends weeks telling me about how "St*pid" I am etc. I can't even do my therapy sessions in my room unless she is asleep or I go in my car because she will eaves drop and ask me why I was telling my therapist certain things. And if I try to have talks with her about how she has made me feel or what she has done she says I am exaggerating and lying.
I remember all the fights she had with my father, stepping between them to have it not get physical, seeing the physical fights to the point where the house got fucked up crying, watching them destroy each others things. being brought into their marital problems. And when I wasn't experiencing emotional abuse from my mom or watching their awful marriage, I spent my first 3 years in adulthood trying to help my father stay sober from his addictions. He eventually passed away in this house due to illnesses from his addictions and because my mother does not allow me to eat in my room the only clean place in the house (she has been hoarding since he died) is on the couch where he passed away. I want to live in a clean home that I am happy to come to and not have yelling
So donating to this would be you helping me mentally/emotionally because I can't do this anymore. I am at my wits end. I recently got approved for an apartment but I would need assistance for the deposit, first months rent, moving supplies, some new furniture, etc. and because it is LA I have averaged out the cost for this to be around $3k
The other $3k is for orthodontic costs because my dental insurance denied my dentist's payment referral but she has informed me that I have put this off for a few years and bite/tooth alignment has slowly gotten worse.
The last $1k is for gfm fees and any other unforeseen things. I will be ecstatic if I just get the first half of my fund because I can afford to have nice things in a home that is my own and will be fine to figure out the dental costs down the line. Thank you if you read all of this because I know it was a lot but this is what I have been going through.
Organizer
Kristin Michelle
Organizer
Bellflower, CA