Help Kendra and Neuro Live a Life Worth Living

Story

FYI: I'm sorry this is a little long, I am Autistic, and well...getting our point across short and to the point is not one of my strengths...I'll try hard though because I REALLY need your help. Thank you.....now I will begin: September 26th, 2021: The day that my life took a turn for the worse, I didn't plan on looking back, forward, left, or right, I just wanted it to come to an end no matter what direction it was going. This was the day that my Bella Boo, who was also my service dog, was laid down to rest forever. Bella had a significant role in my life-such as tracking my moods and reducing my paranoia by completing an apartment search. I have always struggled with extreme paranoia and persecutory delusions; however, Bella played a major role in reducing those delusions to a level where life was manageable. Bella also assisted in improving and stabilizing my mood. By providing me with a feeling of safety and alerting me when there was danger, Bella successfully helped me recognize the onset of one of my Autistic "meltdown/episodes" and was the main factor in decreasing the severity of the episode. Due to my Autism, I struggle quite a bit when it comes to social situations, unexpected change, regulating my emotions, interpersonal relationships, and not handling sensory issues well at all. In order to manage and function, I needed, ABSOLUTELY NEEDED, Bella to live. I was able to concentrate on what the people were saying and I felt 100% safe. She would also give me a topic to talk about and I can talk about Bella all day. My life had a purpose and I had meaning with Bella in my life. Bella's presence, as I have previously stated minimized so many negative symptoms and provided me with the opportunity to experience a life that was worth living and where I felt safe. Bella also provided me with the greatest gift of all: allowing me to recognize I am capable of being independent and responsible. Throughout my whole life, I had always struggled taking care of myself and was dependent on my parents and other people. However, Bella showed me that I can be independent and very responsible- evidenced by 13 years I took care of her. I provided you with the facts and information about Bella and the duties she performed so I could live my life as productively as possible....but I will try to be short, no promises, but I think it's important to provide you with a picture of what life has been like since September 27th, 2021. I have been spiraling downhill, fast. My paranoia has really interrupted my life and has taken a toll on my sleep due to the constant belief that someone is in my apartment and that they are going to attack me and hurt me. I have had extreme difficulty leaving my apartment because I feel if I do not leave my apartment there is absolutely no way that anyone will be able to get in without me knowing. I have not even gone to the grocery store when I ran out of food, choosing not to eat instead because the fear of being attacked is so much worse. My sleep has been affected tremendously and I will go as long as I can with no sleep approximately 5 nights or until I literally just pass out from exhaustion. I have not been able to appropriately regulate my emotions and have been having several episodes/meltdowns; that my neighbors end up hearing and become concerned for my safety. Due to my poor emotion regulation, I have also been struggling a lot with my impulsivity and self-harm. In conjunction with self-harm, I have put my own health at risk. I have really been struggling to differentiate reality from fantasy. Bella forced me to go out and interact. Secondly, and I think it hits me harder since losing Bella, I no longer feel like I have any worth. I feel like I have no purpose. I find myself truly believing that there is no reason for me to be here anymore. I have tried several other things to help me: attending a partial hospitalization program to gain tools and coping skills to assist with these issues; one on one therapy; support groups; every medication under the sun. However, the ONLY thing that has ever worked was having Bella trained service dog. Honestly, without my Bella, without a service dog, I have no interests, no energy, no appetite. I do have feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and guilt. I have tried to live without Bella, and I can't. It is too painful and too difficult. The lack of sleep causes my paranoia and hallucinations to increase which in turn increases my depression which affects another thing and another thing...The ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP, I TRULY BELIEVE is finding another dog that I can trust and that is willing to work with me every day in order to become a registered service dog; miracles do happen, because I found one! I was getting ready to be discharged from the hospital to go home and begin boxing up all of my belongings to begin the good bye text messages...however, I got a text message telling me to go to a specific address to pick up this neglected/abused dog...I didnt think twice...long story short, I left the hospital and 4 hours later I ended up returning to my apartment walking through my door with Neuro: The dog who was in dire need of being rescued. My only intention was to go and save that dog. What I did not expect though, was for Neuro to return the favor. For the first time in 3 weeks with Neuro being by my side, I have not experienced paranoid delusions, fear of going outside and being attacked, I have been able to sleep through the night every night feeling the safest I have in the last 3 months, I have laughed and smiled and have had brief periods of happiness, he provides me with a purpose and worth but mostly protection. I need to care for Neuro especially because of the trauma he experienced; he needs to feel safe and loved. As I have continued to care for him over the last three weeks, I have been told and noticed that he believes his purpose is to watch over me and protect me which is evidenced by his behavior and his level of alertness and how he is constantly aware of my surroundings, I realized...WE SAVED EACH OTHER! We had saved each other and now have the ability to give one another the chance to not only live but enjoy a life worth living. With the help of one another, we can both beat the odds, rise up and experience happiness and normalcy. WE NOW NEED YOUR HELP...PLEASE...TO LIVE THE LIVE'S WE ARE MEANT TO TOGETHER: Training a service dog is very, very expensive. I do not normally ever ask for anything, especially money; however, I am at the end of my road...there are only two things that can happen: The first: I can be blessed with an opportunity provided to me by a ton of the most caring, generous, thoughtful, nonjudgmental, and understanding wonderful angels out there to assist me in getting Neuro trained as my service dog to live with, laugh with, run with, cry with, and always protect me by being by my side every single step of the way; the second I don't even want to think about. Please, please help me and Neuro. He has the perfect characteristics, demeanor and is so smart. Our bond the most important part is stronger than words can express. He is the perfect candidate. We have a lot of work ahead of us but I truly believe Neuro was placed in my life for a reason. I do need a lot of help from as many people as possible....PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD: But I can promise that your donations will not only be used to provide me with the chance to get my needs met.,.I will use this donation to not only save 2 souls (me and Neuro), but down the road, once we have accomplished our goals, we will be able to and will work so hard to be able to pay it forward for others in need. Thank you. Again, I'm sorry, a problem with being Autistic is short and to the point is not one of our strong suits... Bella (below)- my previous life-saving service dog, the reason I have gotten this far...the memories we made and events we attended together She was part of the crew when I worked on the Ambulance, she was right by side on the way to every call and next to me during the transport to hospitals... She was a bit more impatient than me, waiting right outside our Doctors door breathing loud enough for Dr. To hear we were there waiting.... Very important and loved member of Sharpsburg Fire Dept. My right hand man, other half, best friend...the reason for my smile and glow in my eyes.... Always had to ride in style... Neuro (below)- my miracle and with the help of anyone and everyone, he can be the reason to keep me fighting, the reason that makes me realize it's possible to live a happy worthwhile life again.... The Rescue...On our way home for The start of our lives together... "Crossing the threshold together"...aka Neuro has already taken on the duty of entering the apartment 1st to make sure its safe...he has accepted his role as my protector.... Neuro prior to learning about emotions and how to express his happiness and gratitude for being freed and rescued...... But he sure did learn how to express his feelings quickly...and frequently... never gives me the chance to forget how much really cares His form of saluting...here to serve and protect!

Donation protected

September 26th, 2021: The day that my life took a turn for the worse, I didn't plan on looking back, forward, left, or right, I just wanted it to come to an end no matter what direction it was going. This was the day that my Bella Boo, who was also my service dog, was laid down to rest forever. Bella had a significant role in my life-such as tracking my moods and reducing my paranoia by completing an apartment search. I have always struggled with extreme paranoia and persecutory delusions; however, Bella played a major role in reducing those delusions to a level where life was manageable. Bella also assisted in improving and stabilizing my mood. By providing me with a feeling of safety and

alerting me when there was danger, Bella successfully helped me recognize the onset of one of my Autistic "meltdown/episodes" and was the main factor in decreasing the severity of the episode. Due to my Autism, I struggle quite a bit when it comes to social situations, unexpected change, regulating my emotions, interpersonal relationships, and not handling sensory issues well at all. In order to manage and function, I needed, ABSOLUTELY NEEDED, Bella to live.

I was able to concentrate on what the people were saying and I felt 100% safe. She would also give me a topic to talk about and I can talk about Bella all day. My life had a purpose and I had meaning with Bella in

my life. Bella's presence, as I have previously stated minimized so many negative symptoms and provided me with the opportunity to experience a life that was worth living and where I felt safe. Bella also provided me with the greatest gift of all: allowing me to recognize I am capable of being independent and responsible. Throughout my whole life, I had always struggled taking care of myself and was dependent on my parents and other people. However, Bella showed me that I can be independent and very responsible- evidenced by 13 years I took care of her. I provided you with the facts and information about Bella and the duties she performed so I could live my life as productively as possible....but I will try to be short, no promises, but I think it's important to provide you with a picture of what life has been like since September 27th, 2021. I have been spiraling downhill, fast. My paranoia has really interrupted my life and has taken a toll on my sleep due to the constant belief that someone is in my apartment and that they are going to attack me and hurt me. I have had extreme difficulty leaving my apartment because I feel if I do not leave my apartment there is absolutely no way that anyone will be able to get in without me knowing. I have not even gone to the grocery store when I ran out of food, choosing not to eat instead because the fear of being attacked is so much worse. My sleep has been affected tremendously and I will go as long as I can with no sleep approximately 5 nights or until I literally just pass out from exhaustion. I have not been able to appropriately regulate my emotions and have been having several episodes/meltdowns; that my neighbors end up hearing and become concerned for my safety. Due to my poor emotion regulation, I have also been struggling a lot with my impulsivity and self-harm. In conjunction with self-harm, I have put my own health at risk. I have really been struggling to differentiate reality from fantasy. Bella forced me to go out and interact. Secondly, and I think it hits me harder since losing Bella, I no longer feel like I have any worth. I feel like I have no purpose. I find

myself truly believing that there is no reason for me to be here anymore. I have tried several other things to help me: attending a partial hospitalization program to gain tools and coping skills to assist with these issues; one on one therapy; support groups; every medication under the sun. However, the ONLY thing that has ever worked was having Bella trained service dog. Honestly, without my Bella, without a service dog, I have no interests, no energy, no appetite. I do have feelings of worthlessness, hopelessness, and guilt. I have tried to live without Bella, and I can't. It is too painful and too difficult. The lack of sleep causes my paranoia and hallucinations to increase which in turn increases my depression which affects another thing and another thing...The ONLY THING THAT WILL HELP, I TRULY BELIEVE is finding another dog that I can trust and that is willing to work with me every day in order to become a registered service dog; miracles do happen, because I found one! I was getting ready to be discharged from the hospital to go home and begin boxing up all of my belongings to begin the good bye text messages...however, I got a text message telling me to go to a specific address to pick up this neglected/abused dog...I didnt think twice...long story short, I left the hospital and 4 hours later I ended up returning to my apartment walking through my door with Neuro: The dog who was in dire need of being rescued. My only intention was to go and save that dog. What I did not expect though, was for Neuro to return the favor. For the first time in 3 weeks with Neuro being by my side, I have not experienced paranoid delusions, fear of going outside and being attacked, I have been able to sleep through the night every night feeling the safest I have in the last 3 months, I have laughed and smiled and have had brief periods of happiness, he provides me with a purpose and worth but mostly protection. I need to care for Neuro especially because of the trauma he experienced; he needs to feel safe and loved. As I have continued to care for him over the last three weeks, I have been told and noticed that he believes his purpose is to watch over me and protect me which is evidenced by his behavior and his level of alertness and how he is constantly aware of my surroundings, I realized...WE SAVED EACH OTHER! We had saved each other and now have the ability to give one another the chance to not only live but enjoy a life worth living. With the help of one another, we can both beat the odds, rise up and experience happiness and normalcy.

WE NOW NEED YOUR HELP...PLEASE...TO LIVE THE LIVE'S WE ARE MEANT TO TOGETHER:

Training a service dog is very, very expensive. I do not normally ever ask for anything, especially money; however, I am at the end of my road...there are only two things that can happen:

The first: I can be blessed with an opportunity provided to me by a ton of the most caring, generous, thoughtful, nonjudgmental, and understanding wonderful angels out there to assist me in getting Neuro trained as my service dog to live with, laugh with, run with, cry with, and always protect me by being by my side every single step of the way; the second I don't even want to think about. Please, please help me and Neuro. He has the perfect characteristics, demeanor and is so smart. Our bond the most important part is stronger than words can express. He is the perfect candidate. We have a lot of work ahead of us but I truly believe Neuro was placed in my life for a reason. I do need a lot of help from as many people as possible....PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD:

But I can promise that your donations will not only be used to provide me with the chance to get my needs met.,.I will use this donation to not only save 2 souls (me and Neuro), but down the road, once we have accomplished our goals, we will be able to and will work so hard to be able to pay it forward for others in need. Thank you.

Again, I'm sorry, a problem with being Autistic is short and to the point is not one of our strong suits...

Bella (below)- my previous life-saving service dog, the reason I have gotten this far...the memories we made and events we attended together

She was part of the crew when I worked on the Ambulance, she was right by side on the way to every call and next to me during the transport to hospitals...

She was a bit more impatient than me, waiting right outside our Doctors door breathing loud enough for Dr. To hear we were there waiting....

Very important and loved member of Sharpsburg Fire Dept.

My right hand man, other half, best friend...the reason for my smile and glow in my eyes....

Always had to ride in style...

Neuro (below)- my miracle and with the help of anyone and everyone, he can be the reason to keep me fighting, the reason that makes me realize it's possible to live a happy worthwhile life again....

The Rescue...On our way home for The start of our lives together...

"Crossing the threshold together"...aka Neuro has already taken on the duty of entering the apartment 1st to make sure its safe...he has accepted his role as my protector....