Help Keith Stabilize After Attempted Suicide

After an incredibly difficult 10+ year cancer battle and a lifetime of genetic and mental health illnesses, I finally broke down.

In late August, while overwhelmed with pain and despair over a non-stop cascade of health issues, I attempted suicide. Since then, I’ve been recovering with the help of family, friends, and weekly therapy. However, I recently caught COVID-19 from the cancer treatment center despite being vaccinated. COVID has further complicated my recovery, and as bills related to the suicide attempt flow in, friends have convinced me to ask for help to try and restabilize my life. This GoFundMe exists for that reason. I’m working hard to get back to a positive place, and any help is greatly appreciated. I'm hoping to meet the goal by the end of October as all current bills are due by then and I hope to be past covid to resume cancer treatments. I plan to post updates on what has been paid and what continues to need to be paid as things progress.

History

I have been battling cancer (pleomorphic rhabdomyosarcoma ) on and off for over a decade, entering remission four times already. This fifth battle has been exceptionally difficult and disheartening as the pandemic and other factors have interrupted treatments multiple times. Additionally, I’ve experienced painful and dangerous treatment side effects.

Earlier in my life, I was hospitalized while gravely ill with Hirschsprung’s Disease and congenital megacolon that went untreated for fifteen years in my youth. Because of the misunderstanding regarding my conditions growing up, I was abused by my peers, called ‘lazy’ by adults, and developed major depressive disorder and PTSD . I have been in therapy most of my life, though I only recently have dived into issues such as my childhood sexual assault. Additionally, I have ADHD which makes it hard to accomplish many of my goals, further feeding feelings of helplessness and lack of worth. All of these factors combined led to the whirlpool of despair and the suicide attempt, and the health issues continue to add stress.

[Mossy, my rescue kitty that I want to get better for along with my kids (not pictured for their privacy)]

Present Struggles

With the help of friends and family, I can afford the basics (rent, groceries, some copays), but they can’t stretch their generosity any further. I am not currently able to collect disability due to the way I paid for past treatments, and it will be several years before I am eligible. To raise money to accommodate other needs I do creative work, but my current health issues and associated bills from treatments and the suicide attempt have ruined my ability to fund necessary supplies. My inability to do creative work to support myself is also deepening my depression. I want to return to creative work when I beat COVID and while I am continuing cancer treatment.

I have never done any fundraising for myself as I’ve always been more comfortable helping others than asking for help. But friends encouraged me to ask for help so that I might find the foothold needed to overcome depression and begin creating again to support myself. I want to be here for my children, my family, my friends, my wonderful rescue kitty Mossy—but mostly for myself. I want to regain the hope that I’ve been needing. Ultimately, I want to do what I can to put myself in a healthier place so that I can pay it forward by teaching, helping, and being there for others. I’ve always tried to be there when I can for others, and with your help, I could continue to do so in the future.

Where Funding Goes

• Unexpected bills from the suicide attempt, including the ambulance bill, ER co-pay, additional therapy, and medication expenses not currently being covered

• Copays for the mental health medications as well as immune therapy treatments through the end of the year

• Transportation and specialized assistance to help me get to and from cancer treatments

• A metal box spring for my bed to replace a broken wooden one that prevents me from restful sleep

If Funding Is Exceeded. The Additional Funds Go Towards

• Purchase of a rolling cart that can move with me to work as needed for my body’s recovery

• Replenishing basic supplies to begin creating again such as oil paints, acrylic paints, and resin

Again, thank you for reading this far. While it has taken years, I am finally asking for help, and I appreciate your taking the time to consider it.

Thank you,

Keith