Hello! A little about me:

Hi, I’m Kai! I'm 35 years old and I’ve been living in Durham, North Carolina for about two years now. I am getting top surgery at the beginning of 2026, a dream of mine for many years now!

I consider myself a fairly goofy, but quiet person. I really love nature– I find connecting with nature is really just about communing with myself. I love learning about different plants, mushrooms, birds, and rocks. I also feel very inclined towards making art through music and writing. I’m a big lover of pastries, as well as new experiences– meeting people and hearing their stories.

Some background:

In 2020 I came out as queer and in 2021 I began my journey of unpacking my internalized transphobia I hadn't realized lived deep inside of me. At that time I was just starting to get sober and learning to hold really difficult emotions and experiences without numbing myself out. I came out as a transmac non-binary guy later that year and immediately knew I wanted to start hormone therapy. Fast forward to the present, my chest has become a point of extreme stress and pain, emotionally and physically, in my daily life.

Day to day I deal with chronic pain, CPTSD and other undiagnosed mental illness on top of this dysphoria. It has felt unbearable lately, especially as trans people are under violent attack in the US. Yet, part of my resistance right now is continuing to pursue this surgery. I am hopeful that top surgery is going to help me break through a barrier I’ve been stuck behind. I want to feel further confidence in who I am when I look in the mirror. I need it to feel like it's me.

The plan:

I have had a surgery consultation and will be receiving a double incision mastectomy at the UNC plastic surgery department. I will be going back in January for labs with the goal of having a surgery date set for sometime in February. I recently took on a second job to help save money for surgery. I am also hoping to throw at least one fundraiser before the end of the year.

The goal:

The surgery estimate I received comes to $7600 with my insurance plan. With my need to take work off for 6 to 8 weeks I am raising an additional $3400 to cover two months’ rent, utilities, healthcare, and bills. I have a goal of raising $10,00 in total.

In conclusion:

I am learning to ask for help and to open up to my community. These are really hard and scary times that we are living in and I’m always hesitant to take up space. I want to give young Kai a shot of feeling confident and proud of themself. I deeply value everyone around me who has helped me get to this point today, in all of the phases of my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.