Help Julia to reunite with her 2,5 years old son

Our close friend is in a very difficult situation and needs help. Currently, she is very weak, and thus we, her friends, do our best to support her.

Her name is Julia. She is 46 and has lived in Finland for over 20 years. Yes, Finland, the happiest country in the world.

Her 2.5-year-old son was taken away from her on 11.2.2025, and since that day, she has seen him only through video calls. He barely understands her, since he's almost forgotten their common language. She feels that she is losing connection with him day by day. It's heartbreaking for Julia to see her son sad, but not being able to express himself because he doesn't speak yet. Julia has difficulty sleeping or eating due to stress. She only wants to be beside her son, caring for her little child. She feels desperate, lost, abused and abandoned.

Let me tell the story from the beginning.

The pregnancy went well until her son was born prematurely in the 24th week of development. It was a shocking experience for both Julia and the child's father - they thought they would lose him, or their son would develop life-long diseases, or his life would be compromised. We were visiting them in the hospital and saw how exhausted they were with the uncertainty of each day. They were counting every day, every gram their son was growing, living in the hospital until they were allowed to go home. Oh boy, it was an enormous gift that still feels overwhelming - a miracle indeed.

Julia felt this challenging experience forever united her and her child's father. She believed nothing could destroy their commitment to caring for each other and their son. I remember telling her that this kind of experience unites and binds people even strongly than marriage.

They were so happy and blessed that their son survived that Julia was determined to spend as much time as possible with him as he grew and developed. After returning home from the hospital, they spent a few blissful months in Julia's apartment in Finland. Since Julia was on maternity leave, they decided to go to Italy for some time, where the baby's father is from. He inherited several apartments from his deceased mother and had to get his documents and real estate in order. The Finnish company where he works arranged a work transfer to an Italian office. They decided this was a good chance for them to try spending some time in Italy together and decide whether this country would be suitable for moving there for a longer time later. They did not know how their baby would cope with the change of country, climate and air quality. Premature babies do not have time to develop their lungs sufficiently, so they could react strongly to changes in the air quality. They decided to go to Italy temporarily and see what it is like there for their family.

The situation has changed radically since they arrived in Italy. Julia found herself in an old flat unsuitable for a small kid (her husband's mother's flat). Her husband spent most of his time working remotely from home or travelling for several weeks at a time. Meanwhile, Julia was literally trapped in one room without the possibility of going anywhere. The suburb of the flat doesn't have any infrastructure for families with kids. She couldn't go out to play in a yard or playground, and the flat was too small to spend 7/24 there. The boys father didn't pay attention to that or any other agreements or promises they had.

The house in Italy that her husband had told her about in Finland, where they could live if they decided to stay there long-term, needed renovations, and he didn't want to start them. He didn't want to admit that their son and Julia needed space and activities. Despite his promises, he didn't support the family financially, so Julia spent her savings on food, clothes, their son's toys and other necessities. Eventually, she ran out of money, and her husband started lending money to her. Lending money to his wife, who had no income in a foreign country! It seemed like this was precisely what he wanted – to take control of Julia. He even stopped talking to her, expecting Julia to clean the apartment, cook and take care of their son without being able to go out, do hobbies, learn Italian or socialise in any way. When she asked for help with the language, he said she should practice Italian through an app when the baby was asleep. He refused to speak in Italian to Julia. She tried many times to find a way to discuss the situation, but nothing worked. She started talking about returning to Finland, but he did not want to hear about that. She felt betrayed, alone and helpless while her husband convinced her that it was all her fault. He also tried to persuade Julia, all his friends and even neighbours, that she had mental problems and he would send her to forced treatment. He sent messages to one of us, threatening that he would take Julia to the medical help by force if she does not stop talking about returning to Finland. He also talked about her with the family doctor behind Julia's back, trying to make him believe she needed psychotherapeutic medical help. Julia could not believe that this was happening to her. She was a medical worker in Finland, always working hard, being a part of the social community and helping others. She could not agree with the position her husband had put her in in Italy. All his actions indicated that he wanted a quiet caregiver for his son, but not an equal partner.

All of a sudden, Julia found herself in a foreign country with no language, job, savings, or friends. There was no respect, love, or support from the person she trusted. Everything he said about their life in Italy turned out to be a lie. She was deeply hurt when she realised that permanently moving to Italy was her husband's intention from the beginning. She also felt ashamed that she was in this position. Julia started having frequent migraine attacks that could last for days, and some of them required hospitalisation.

Julia asked her husband to return to Finland many times. He declined the possibility of going at all. When Julia said she would go there with their son by herself, he took away the son's passport.

He continued to abuse Julia mentally and financially, continuously blackmailing her and preventing her from leaving Italy.

Finally, she was so scared, tired, and helpless that she ran away with their son to Finland while her husband was on a work trip abroad. She used a copy of her son's passport because her husband still kept the original one. Finnish citizens can return home with a copy of a passport if the flight is direct. Julia and her son were registered in Finland for all the time that they spent in Italy.

When Julia and her son arrived in Finland, Julia went to the shelter. She spent 2 weeks there while getting things in order and planning her next steps. All shelter workers were so supportive and kind; Julia will always be grateful for that.

She visited all possible social services in Finland to find protection and support. She has been tested for her husband's psychological abuse and her health state; She talked to doctors and social workers. Everyone came to the same conclusion - Julia was a victim of domestic abuse. Julia hoped her son and she were safe and protected in Finland, but that was an illusion.

Her husband went to the "Hovioikeus" - Court of Finland, claiming (based on the Hague Convention) that Julia kidnapped their kid and demanded to return the boy to Italy. He also visited the day club, which Julia visited with the child. He was talking to the worker there about Julia's "mental health" and trying to make her feel unsafe and uncomfortable there, and prevent their child from socialising in Finland. Julia went to the Finnish psychiatrist for an examination and tests to prove she was healthy. She looked for a way to stop this continuous insult from her husband, who kept spreading lies about her mental health. But he never stopped; he did it even in Court. The trial was very short, and the case was discussed quickly, so briefly that Julia didn't even have a chance to get all the evidence needed. Two of us, her friends, were witnessing in the Court.

In just a month, her husband won the case.

The Court considered their trip to Italy a permanent move, so her son had to be returned to Italy despite Julia's and her son's Finnish citizenship and registration.

There were apparent mistakes in the Court's conclusion.

Julia's son was taken from her, brought back to Italy in February 2025 and has stayed there since. Meanwhile, Julia's husband has been insulting her, accusing her of abandoning her son and family when she did not follow them immediately to Italy.

Julia filed for permission to appeal to the Supreme Court of Finland, wanting to present the evidence missing from the first trial. However, the Supreme Court refused leave to appeal, leaving Julia no chance to defend her and her child's rights in Finland and present all the evidence she had finally obtained.

None of us could have expected this kind of injustice from the Finnish democracy. We do not know of any precedent where a decision made by a court of first instance (and containing obvious errors in the facts) cannot be appealed, even if the decision affects the whole future life of the child! It is extremely disappointing and remains unclear.

Julia feels she has lost everything she had, the value of life and herself. Julia returned to Finland, her son's motherland, where her child was born, to reclaim her son's rights to a decent future and her rights as a person, a mother and a full member of society. She returned to the country where both parents had the opportunity to live, work, and fulfil their parental responsibilities towards the child. The Court decided that she should defend her rights in Italy, but in reality, this would be impossible right now. Their son's father still works for a Finnish company.

She sent a letter to the Finnish President asking for help getting permission to appeal to the Supreme Court of Finland. We all hope it will be possible.

Now, her child is gradually forgetting the language his mother speaks. His father talks to him only in Italian. Julia's brief video calls are not enough to connect them. Every day he spends without his mother is painful for him.

For Julia to be with her son now, she must be able to fly to Italy, rent a place to live, and pay for an interpreter and a lawyer. The approximate costs of an Italian lawyer would be 5100€.

Since she lost the trial in the Finnish Court, she will have to pay for her lawyer and the court costs, which total 4625,48 euros.

Currently, Julia doesn't have savings or a job, so she needs a total of 9,700 euros.

Her close friend helped financially with the costs of flying to Finland, arranging rent, purchasing furniture, and all the necessary items for her and her son, as well as consulting with lawyers, but it was not enough. If she starts working in Finland now, she will lose her son for good. To go to Italy, she needs funds to make her life there possible until she finds a job and a consistent income.

We would be truly thankful for any financial contribution from you.

If you help Julia raise this amount, she will be able to pay her court debts in Finland, hire a lawyer in Italy, and continue to protect her and her child's rights in Italy. Of course, she will look for an opportunity to start working as soon as possible so that she does not need to ask for people's help. However, unfortunately, she now lacks sufficient funds to even file for divorce.

We, Julia's friends, kindly ask you to offer Julia your support too. Every euro would shorten her debts and thus shorten the time till she sees her beloved sweet son.