Hi, my name is Jose. I’m a 19 year old living in Florida, and I’m chasing something that goes against what we are taught to believe about living life.

For most of my life, I struggled with intense anxiety, OCD, and the weight of feeling like I didn’t belong in my own mind. Doctors had labels for everything, and for a long time, that not only controlled me but defined who I was. My anxiety stopped me from doing many basic things kids my age would do in a heart beat. Even outside of that, I always felt out of place. People in school had dreams and ambitions of jobs, careers, and a life that to me always felt mundane. I never really felt like I fit into the “normal” crowd, and even with the friends I had, I always felt like I didn’t fully belong, I’d find my mind always wondering; always wanting something more than what I was being taught to want.I always found my self acting and trying to be someone I wasn’t. I tried going down paths that were never meant for me tried to pretend to be and become someone I wasn’t and it always left me feeling hopeless and meaningless, so out of place and foreign. Deep down, I never felt like I belonged anywhere but I always found myself whole in nature.

As I got older, something odd had happened; despite doctors always trying to medicate me and tell me that these struggle would never go away on its own my fear faded the anxiety which had controlled me for so long somehow became no more, but its place came emptiness. No matter what path I tried, nothing felt meaningful. I felt lost like I was just existing without a reason or purpose. Sometimes I even questioned whether I truly belonged here at all whether my life was worth living. The only time that feeling ever disappeared was when I was in nature. I remember a trip to Alaska I was standing in the mountains, surrounded by something so much bigger than me and for the first time in years, I felt whole. I told my mom that day that no matter what I had to pursue a life captivated in that feeling I felt that day. 

Then I found rock climbing and everything changed. For the first time in my life, I felt purpose. Not something I could fully explain but something I knew deep down. Climbing, nature and the mountains gave me direction. They gave me freedom from the weight I had carried for so long. For once, I had found what I’d been searching for my entire life not just a hobby or career but a purpose, something that gave my emptiness meaning. Now I’m working toward a dream: to buy a van, move out west, and fully commit to this path living wage isn’t what the world believes, climbing, and immersing myself in the natural world that had saved my life and given me meaning .

This dream isnt just about me. As I build my life in this van, I plan to document the journey and use any success whether through social media, sponsorships, or opportunities to give back. My life goal is to donate a large portion of what I earn to conservation efforts and organizations that protect the wild places that changed my life. I want to leave something behind. Not just for myself but for others who feel lost like I once did. If you choose to support me, you’re not just helping me buy a van but you’re helping me build a life around what saved me, and giving me the opportunity to give back to this beautiful world we all share. And I hope  along the way I can inspire someone else who feels lost in this world to find their own path.

So I’m not asking you all for simply a handout, I’m asking for a chance to pursue something much greater than I ever thought possible. 

If this resonates with you at all, if you’ve ever felt lost and wished you had something to believe in, anything helps. You’re not just donating to a kid wanting a van but you’re helping someone build a life that finally means something.

Thank you for even reading this.


— Jose M. Sentmanat