Saved by a Cattle Guard
I met Jon in the summer of 2000. Our senior year of high school was approaching quickly. He was introducing himself to our local church youth group, when I heard the first words out of his mouth. He said, “My name is Jon and I got these shoes for $10.00.” He still had the tags on the shoes, which I found a little odd. I learned quickly that he was thrifty and liked to show it.
I went from thinking he was the weirdest person I’d ever met (2000), to marrying him six years later (2006), to eleven (ish) years later divorcing him (2018). I know, I know, sad day, however, in those eleven years came our proudest accomplishment ever! Our daughter, Drew!! We went our separate ways and life went on. I said some things I’m not proud of and the new life after divorce was filled with some hatred. I would see Jon on “drop off” days and that was about it. Fast forward three years later (2021) and here I am writing this, asking for your help.
In the fall of 2020, Jon noticed pain in his back. The pain didn’t go away. During the snow of March 2021, Jon slipped and fell on a cattle guard crossing. He landed straight on his back, which caused excruciating pain. He laid there that day on the cattle guard crossing, in the snow, for about forty minutes before being able to move. This incident started a snowball effect of life changing news ahead.
The MRI showed his spine had been crushed. He later found out his spine was crushed due to having cancer that had spread to his bones. The cancer originated in the tonsils, which is pretty rare. He was diagnosed with stage 4 tonsil cancer and was faced with the greatest fight of his life, for his life.
Jon has undergone extensive back surgery, two rounds of chemo and radiation on his throat and hip. He has lost sixty pounds, lost his hair, re-grew his hair, had a feeding tube put in and enough doctors’ appointments to last a lifetime.
He didn’t think twice about fighting to save his life. He has been fighting a fight, that I personally can say, has been dreadful. I will also tell you, and I am embarrassed to say this, that it took something so life threatening for my hardened, hatred filled heart (I mean, come on, it was a divorce, haha!) to remember what is truly important in life and what our purpose on this earth is all about. Our purpose is to help each other. Life is short. Help everyone, everything, every time, you have a chance, if you can, when you can, with a cheerful heart.
Split custody with your child sucks, but you make it work. We used the one week on, one week off method. When I learned about Jon, it sent me into a whirlwind of things. Of course, my main concern being Drew and the fate of her father. I knew Jon would get sick and I knew there would be times he would need help. I also knew there would come a time where he wouldn’t be able to parent by himself for a week. It didn’t take long to put two and two together, so I moved in with Jon (ex husband) so he can see Drew and she can see him on a daily basis. Just to ease your mind, here are some possible FAQS, hahaha!!!
On moving back in with your ex-husband--------
Yes, it is kinda, very weird.
Yes, Drew has had lots of questions.
Yes, we are making it up as we go.
NO, we are not and will not be getting back together as you would see in a Hallmark movie.
Yes, we are making it work.
Yes, I would still be living with my most amazing roommates! (Hi mom and dad, haha!)
No, we wouldn’t be living together if Jon weren’t in this predicament. But, unfortunately, he is in this predicament and needs our help. He would never ask for help. He never does. Why? The old me would say because he’s an idiot, haha! But it’s because Jon was born a helper. And helpers are the worst to ask for help. Since I’ve known him, if he can help a situation in anyway, he will. It’s in his DNA. He can’t help it. He’s an eagle scout for crying out loud! So, here is me helping Jon ask for help. Cancer sucks. Fighting for your life against cancer is expensive. Cancer is confusing. Cancer is stressful. For the first time in his life, he isn’t able to work. He needs our help more than ever.
As if having stage 4 cancer (and living with me, the ex-wife, haha) isn’t enough fun and worry for one guy, Jon needs our help even more than imagined. Jon knew as soon as he was facing this battle that it would be expensive. He knew that whatever money he could start saving would be beneficial. He sold his motorcycle and even sold his 1972 Cadillac El Dorado (which I never ever ever thought would happen) a few months ago. I told you from the second sentence of my story how frugal and thrifty he is. He had built up a little cushion of money to make sure he was secure until his disability gets approved. Yes, he waited too late to file for disability and yes he’s always been terrible (sorry Jon) at getting things like that done, but he has been kinda busy, trying to survive and all. While Jon was going to radiation treatments this summer, someone decided that they needed Jon’s cancer cushion of money more so than he did- and stole it. Yes, you read that right. Stole it.
Right now, Jon needs money to pay bills, to keep his insurance, to maintain until he gets on disability. He needs money to help with his peace of mind. He needs money because someone stole from him. Jon’s family has already had to endure one battle with cancer. Jon’s older brother, Robert, passed away three years ago from colon cancer. They are now faced with Jon’s battle and are looking to fight hard. Jon, Drew and his family are in a battle for life. Drew needs her dad. His parents need their second born son. His younger brother needs his brother.
Please consider helping Jon and his family. You can help in many different ways. You can help just by sharing this post. You can help by praying for Jon and his family. If nothing else, you have helped just by reading this and maybe you will tell somebody about it. Thank you, as it will mean the world to me as well, to help Jon put the “can” in cancer. He can fight it and he can win!