[This is an extension of my previous GoFundMe due to an extreme turn for the worse in John's fortunes]
Some days rewrite your life.
Wednesday, September 5, 2025 was one of those days.
A little over three weeks ago, I went to visit my best friend John. John is my family, and I am his.
When I got there, it turned out he was bedridden with a sore leg. He says he sat down the wrong way in a chair and tweaked his sciatic nerve. My sister suffered with it. *Major* pain.
I try a couple of 'sure fire' pain relief tricks I know worked for her. No joy. So I, with the help of a Kaiser Advice Nurse, convince John to head into the ER to let them have a look. Long story short, after about eight hours of waiting, and an exam by a doctor, they put John in a room so they can do a CT (MRI?) scan the next morning to be sure there's no damage to his spine.
I call to get the low down the next morning. Good news…but. No damage to his spine, but they have scheduled an operating room to use in a couple of hours…
...to amputate his left leg just below the knee.
A blood clot has interfered with the flow of blood to the leg, causing the flesh to begin dying. If they do not operate, lethal toxins will begin migrating into his system.
I watch as they wheel John to the operating room, and before dinner time, they wheel John back into his room. Minus half a leg.
There is less traumatic drama between now and then, but time passes.
The very good news is John has channeled his inner tough old goat, and today his spirits have almost bounced back.
His rehab has gone well enough that he can get from his bed into his wheelchair, navigate to the potty, do his business and get himself back in bed. All on his own with no help or supervision needed.
He is fighting the very common problem of significant pain from Phantom Limb Syndrome. But, real progress.
After evaluating and taking into account both John's new physical health status, and the sadly declining cognitive health he's been dealing with, and it’s been decided he won't be going back to the boarding he’s been living in, for a number of good reasons.
Coincidentally, the day this whole thing started, John admitted that he wasn't really sure who I was exactly. A little prompting and it came back to him.
That's where we are today.
With the road ahead, as much as I wish it weren't true, John and I are going to again need help, it's just not a load I can carry alone.
The $60.00 round trips to see John at the Skilled Nursing Center have already done a tidy bit of damage to my budget.
The abrupt and serious changes in John's life presents a hardly surprising steep hill to climb. Any assistance will go a long way.
The hurdles that lie ahead.
The boardinghouse normally requires one months “last months rent” and 30 days notice when moving out. Even given the circumstances I am not expecting that to be waived. But I do have a good relationship with him and I'm hoping I can negotiate with him to accept half, $400.00.
John will need household goods and some accessibility items/fixtures. Something I learned dealing with my broken back. I will try to budget $200-300. Though I'll also provide him with some household items from my apartment.
Transportation is another area where my recent experience has been an education. Being wheelchair bound will present John with even greater challenges. Finally returning my sister’s car to service will provide us both with flexibility and freedom that will be sorely needed for things like transportation to medical and ongoing rehab appointments. For registration and some minor maintenance after being idle for almost two years I’m estimating $500-700.
Lastly, John’s cognitive decline unfortunately shows no signs of slowing. He's still able to navigate on his own, but the battle to find him an assisted living environment is a battle that will have to be fully engaged now. Until then, providing him with Life Alert remote elder care service will be the strategy, along with daily check-ins on my part (another important aspect of resurrecting the car) The Life Alert service worked very well for my mom, even as she was much further compromised than John is now.
Start up costs run $250 for equipment fees and $130 a month for the monitoring service itself. I’m hoping to only need it for six months or so while finding a permanent setting that will meet John's needs.
With all that in mind, I've set a goal of $3,000 - 3,500 for the GoFundMe.
I'll be reaching out to every network I have, as well as asking friends and acquaintances to pass the information along to any parties that might be able to help.
It's an ambitious goal, but necessary. John is family I never expected to have. A best friend that came into my life when I truly thought I would never have even a friend again.
I can do no less than my very best for him.
As always, my deepest, most heartfelt thanks.
Jeff Miller
Some days rewrite your life.
Wednesday, September 5, 2025 was one of those days.
A little over three weeks ago, I went to visit my best friend John. John is my family, and I am his.
When I got there, it turned out he was bedridden with a sore leg. He says he sat down the wrong way in a chair and tweaked his sciatic nerve. My sister suffered with it. *Major* pain.
I try a couple of 'sure fire' pain relief tricks I know worked for her. No joy. So I, with the help of a Kaiser Advice Nurse, convince John to head into the ER to let them have a look. Long story short, after about eight hours of waiting, and an exam by a doctor, they put John in a room so they can do a CT (MRI?) scan the next morning to be sure there's no damage to his spine.
I call to get the low down the next morning. Good news…but. No damage to his spine, but they have scheduled an operating room to use in a couple of hours…
...to amputate his left leg just below the knee.
A blood clot has interfered with the flow of blood to the leg, causing the flesh to begin dying. If they do not operate, lethal toxins will begin migrating into his system.
I watch as they wheel John to the operating room, and before dinner time, they wheel John back into his room. Minus half a leg.
There is less traumatic drama between now and then, but time passes.
The very good news is John has channeled his inner tough old goat, and today his spirits have almost bounced back.
His rehab has gone well enough that he can get from his bed into his wheelchair, navigate to the potty, do his business and get himself back in bed. All on his own with no help or supervision needed.
He is fighting the very common problem of significant pain from Phantom Limb Syndrome. But, real progress.
After evaluating and taking into account both John's new physical health status, and the sadly declining cognitive health he's been dealing with, and it’s been decided he won't be going back to the boarding he’s been living in, for a number of good reasons.
Coincidentally, the day this whole thing started, John admitted that he wasn't really sure who I was exactly. A little prompting and it came back to him.
That's where we are today.
With the road ahead, as much as I wish it weren't true, John and I are going to again need help, it's just not a load I can carry alone.
The $60.00 round trips to see John at the Skilled Nursing Center have already done a tidy bit of damage to my budget.
The abrupt and serious changes in John's life presents a hardly surprising steep hill to climb. Any assistance will go a long way.
The hurdles that lie ahead.
The boardinghouse normally requires one months “last months rent” and 30 days notice when moving out. Even given the circumstances I am not expecting that to be waived. But I do have a good relationship with him and I'm hoping I can negotiate with him to accept half, $400.00.
John will need household goods and some accessibility items/fixtures. Something I learned dealing with my broken back. I will try to budget $200-300. Though I'll also provide him with some household items from my apartment.
Transportation is another area where my recent experience has been an education. Being wheelchair bound will present John with even greater challenges. Finally returning my sister’s car to service will provide us both with flexibility and freedom that will be sorely needed for things like transportation to medical and ongoing rehab appointments. For registration and some minor maintenance after being idle for almost two years I’m estimating $500-700.
Lastly, John’s cognitive decline unfortunately shows no signs of slowing. He's still able to navigate on his own, but the battle to find him an assisted living environment is a battle that will have to be fully engaged now. Until then, providing him with Life Alert remote elder care service will be the strategy, along with daily check-ins on my part (another important aspect of resurrecting the car) The Life Alert service worked very well for my mom, even as she was much further compromised than John is now.
Start up costs run $250 for equipment fees and $130 a month for the monitoring service itself. I’m hoping to only need it for six months or so while finding a permanent setting that will meet John's needs.
With all that in mind, I've set a goal of $3,000 - 3,500 for the GoFundMe.
I'll be reaching out to every network I have, as well as asking friends and acquaintances to pass the information along to any parties that might be able to help.
It's an ambitious goal, but necessary. John is family I never expected to have. A best friend that came into my life when I truly thought I would never have even a friend again.
I can do no less than my very best for him.
As always, my deepest, most heartfelt thanks.
Jeff Miller