Hi all, I'm Jinx. Some of you may know me as Jules. 

I always talked about the fact that I would only use GoFundMe in case of an emergency or I hit rock bottom, something like that. I've been at the worst lows of my life but still waited for the day it could get worse.

I got into a car accident on the 27th of Feb. While the car itself could've been fixed, because of the shitty insurance, they decided to total it. It was my moms and so we are using a rental. I sustained a concussion and couldn't work for 3 weeks. As I am a Mobile Budtender (legally as well), I need my car for work and can only use a rental for up to 3 weeks. This will be first week back completely at work. This is truly a dream job for me, not to sound like a capitalist puppet, but going to work makes me happy. Content. Joyful. Not many people can say that about their jobs but it brings me peace and is something I've wanted for literally 5 years now. 

I see the trajectory of my life going upwards in a really good way.  However, my job depends on me having a car. If I were to not have a car and lose this job, I do believe that I would hit rock bottom. I'm trying to prevent that, desperately. 

As a QTPOC who's Black,  Jewish, Disabled and ND, I've struggled a lot the last decade. The last ten years have been the hardest of my life, completely derailed by illness both mental and physical. I deal with chronic pain that no doctor would ever give me any medication to help me with or figure out, I was once even compared to a lame horse and told that 'you might as well shoot a lame horse if it can't be ridden'. Essentially told I should kill myself if I don't become more active / keep using the wheelchair and cane I was at the time. I've been bedridden and completely housebound due to it. I've lived in an abusive household for this long of a time as well which I do not feel comfortable going into the details of.  I don't feel like I should share my trauma to get money but truly I've been through the ringer. I'm still amazed I'm alive. I'm trying to stay alive. 

My father passed away a year and a half ago, he always believed that I'd get back on my feet somehow. After finally finding some pain relief that actually works for me back in November -- it's changed my life. 

I realize now that I shouldn't have waited til it was a desperate emergency. I see my life truly moving upwards, getting better. I'm 25 years old and this would be my first car. I never got to graduate high school due to what I've dealt with above and more including homelessness. I've been surviving for so long but I think I'm close to truly living. This car would actually change my life. 

So,  I ain't too proud to beg anymore because I need the help. I know I've proven my dad right already by coming this far but I haven't come this far to only go this far. If you can't donate, please please send it around. This is extremely hard for me to ask for money as I feel a lot of shame and guilt but I told myself I had (1) get out of jail free card and this is me using it. Putting my pride, guilt, shame, everything away to do the thing that's hardest for me to do -- ask for help. 

The money would go towards a downpayment and insurance. Today I went to check what I could buy and how much, they said that my minimum downpayment would be 1500 at best and that I'd be paying at least 400 a month just for the car itself while paying at least 300 for insurance. This isn't sustainable to me and since I have 60 days to put more down on the downpayment, so I can put more to lower the rate. If you're wondering why I'm not just waiting, I need the car within the next two weeks. 

I might raise it a bit to ease some pressure and because I don't know exactly how GoFundMe's percentage taking works but please again if you can't donate just send it around. 

If you can't donate over Gofundme I have a Paypal which is juliarscole@/icloud.com  (without the slash)  and a cashapp that's $sunfloewer.

Thank you so much and hope you have a good day/night/evening. ✨