Hi, my name is Jen, and this go fund me is to help my service dog Pharaby & I stay housed while I recover from years of POW level daily trauma. I’m scared & exhausted.

I’ve been trying to survive and heal on my own after years of being a victim of domestic terrorism. I’ve built content, sold art, created products, pushed through every symptom, every crash, because I didn’t have a choice. I’ve held myself up with no family support, no partner, no safety net.

My body has been shutting me down daily for years & now it’s not something I can ignore or push past anymore.

When I hit my limit, my eyes start shutting on their own.

Not from being tired, it’s like my brain hits a breaker to protect me. My left side lags, my thinking slows, and I lose the ability to function. I start shaking, getting pulled into a tight, curled-up "shrimp" shape & I almost black out 9+ times a day. I can’t push through it, can’t “mind over matter” it. It’s involuntary & it’s disabling.

This is my nervous system collapsing after years of carrying everything alone.

I’ve never had the conditions needed to actually recover. I’ve been in survival mode since the day I escaped. Working through shutdowns, resting only when I literally can’t move, and missing entire chunks of life because my body keeps shutting down to keep me alive.

And the truth is: I can’t heal without stability.

No one can.

Your nervous system cannot repair itself when you’re constantly bracing for survival.

Chronic trauma recovery at this level isn’t a ‘take a week off’ thing, the nervous system takes about a decade to stabilize, and real recovery will stretch into multiple decades.

Why I’m asking for this amount

This part is hard to talk about, but it matters.

If the level of harm I lived through had been done by a stranger, if I’d been kidnapped, assaulted, trafficked, or held captive by anyone other than a spouse, I would have received restitution to rebuild my life.

Domestic terrorism/violence victims almost never get that, even though the damage is the same.

So the number I calculated is based on what restitution would have been for someone who survived long term trauma with permanent nervous system injury. It’s the amount it actually takes to rebuild a safe, stable life after years of harm. This takes decades to heal from so I have a long road ahead & need long term stabilization.

This includes things like:

• safe, modest housing (so rent increases don’t wipe me out)

• property taxes, insurance, and basic living costs

• the medical care I haven’t been able to afford

• time to stabilize my body instead of collapsing every week

• the ability to rebuild, actual rest, so my body can repair instead of shutting down from exhaustion & so I can breathe again

This is the bare minimum of what it takes to survive what I’ve lived through.

If this trauma had happened outside my home, the system would’ve given me this support automatically. Because it happened behind closed doors, I’m having to ask the public to help me.

I know it’s not on anyone to give me restitution or help, but that’s where the number comes from. It’s what I truly need to stop living day to day in crisis and finally have a real chance to heal.

If you can help, even a little, it gives me a real shot at surviving this and becoming whole again.