Hi, my name is Jae - but if you've found this then you probably know me better as Oli. I will do my best to put the TLDR version at the top.

Above is a picture of my Dad. We haven't always seen eye to eye (to be honest, we RARELY ever saw eye to eye), and he's done a lot of things I disagree with in life. But that isn't what's important right now. What is important is that he has brain cancer - Grade 4 Glioblastoma - and since being discharged from the rehab hospital, he requires 24-hour supervision. As such, I am expecting to have to essentially live at his house for the majority of the week to look after him and my 87-year-old granny. I have help for the weekends when I need to be home to stream. I will still need to do my best to work when at his house, though, and in order to do this, I need a new laptop: one that can run CSP reliably. I already have a Kamvas 13, and I have ideas of where I can set up a desk.

That's what this fundraiser is for: the laptop so I can work while taking care of my Dad and Granny over the next year - as that's about how long he has IF everything goes -well-.

Here is the long version -

November 15th, I was told my Dad had a stroke by his girlfriend. Later, I was told that it was actually a brain tumor that had started a bleed, and he was declining rapidly. My husband, Josh (you'd know him as Os), left work and drove me to the city so I could say goodbye and my Dad would not be alone in his final hours. However, it turned out that their claims he was fading fast were actually due to the amount of sedative he'd been given for the helicopter ride... there was no IMMEDIATE danger. The tumor had caused a bleed, which had caused seizures, which had caused more bleed, which had caused more seizures... the bleed is considered a stroke, and he lost the function of his left side.

What followed were days away from home, spent at the hospital as my siblings flew in from out of state and we figured out the next steps.

Between paying for a car rental (our car is old and unreliable), a hotel, food, and missing work but still having bills to pay, etc. - my savings slowly dwindled.

Time I had to spend at home that I would usually be dedicating to work instead went to preparing my Dad's home for his return. He has a hoarding problem, and we removed tons of trash. He has 10 dogs which are not potty trained, and we had to rip the floor (and subflooring) out of two rooms to replace the floors. Ramps had to be built for a wheelchair because his lower floor had an absurd amount of stairs (the lower floor is 3 different heights/levels for some reason).

Dad had surgery to remove the majority of his tumor - they were able to get out 80% of it. Trying to remove more would have affected his speech. He was kept heavily sedated for days after, as his brain recovered from surgery and the swelling slowly subsided. Once recovered 'enough,' they moved him to a rehab center, where they began working on getting his brain to rebuild connections to his left side so that he can move around a bit.

Everything we are doing for the next few weeks is to 'prepare for chemo.' Trying to get him as strong as possible because the chemo will likely wipe out his motor function again. He has already reached his 'baseline' for cognitive and motor skills. He's essentially a large toddler when it comes to motor skills and emotional control. His mental acuity is hugely diminished, he cannot hold a conversation and repeats himself often. When moving (from bed to wheelchair, etc.), we have to communicate in simple, one-word commands.

Seeing anyone like this is horrible. The man I knew is gone. What is left is a shadow of a man who needs help, and as my siblings and the rest of my family live out of state... that falls to me.

Aside from caring for him, there's 10 (large) dogs, 4 horses, a bunch of pigs (I am hoping will be gone soon), 2 alpacas - and my 87-year-old Granny, who *also* needs pretty much constant supervision. She only just quit working (isn't she amazing?!) but she is very frail, and as with most seniors, has poor memory and often bad judgment. She needs to be cared for, as well, on many levels - because no parent should ever have to witness their child go through this.

I also need to work, though, and I am extremely fortunate to make my living the way I do. I don't have to ask for TONS of help... I can set up a desk there and produce art, and pay my bills, and do what needs to be done.

There are a ton of other things I could go into that affect this situation... people taking advantage of my Dad's state for their own gain. My deep fear of abuse/neglect because the other people he 'relies on' are notorious drunks. Legal issues my siblings and I will have to wade through...

But, right now... my biggest concern is I need a laptop. So I can work. So I can pay the bills my family relies on me to pay while also doing this.

Which is why I'm asking for help.

So if you enjoy my work, or even just want to help someone out in a tough situation, please consider donating. Every little bit helps. Anything not used towards a laptop will go towards paying bills.

If you read through this whole thing - thanks. If you've got your parents around still, take a moment to shoot them a text or a call and tell them you love them. If you're not on good terms with them, consider trying to make amends (even if you're unsuccessful, at least try).

And fuck cancer.