Aid Isabel's Fight: Cancer and Memory Loss

Hi, my name is Laura. My mother, Isabel, is 55 years old and is currently battling breast cancer and she is experiencing extreme symptoms of Alzheimer's or Dementia. I've taken her to get tests and we're still waiting on those results.

She is currently losing her memory and it is gradually getting worse, day by day and minute by minute. I am her only family member left and I am the only one taking care of her at this moment.

My mother was born on August 30, 1969. She got pregnant with me after multiple miscarriages and when doctors told her she wouldn't be able to have a baby. She is a strong single parent who fought every single day to have food on the table and never wanted to depend on anyone. She has fought so many battles in her time and she would do anything for her family, even if she has to suffer to make it happen. Her memory started out very small, confusing days and times and forgetting people's names. Something small and sometimes many of us do. It started getting difficult at her work and keeping up with times with food. She worked at the deli department of Walmart. She kept repeating some stories and repeating questions to coworkers. On an unexpected day, my mother found a tough bump on her breast and it was concerning enough that it started to swell up. She went to the doctors and got diagnosed with breast cancer. There was still hope. She went to chemo, radiation, and got breast surgery to remove the lump. So far, it's not entirely gone but the cancer has shrunk enough to have it completely gone soon after more treatments. During this time, her memory wasn't helping her at all. She started to slowly get lost in a town she lived in for more than eight years, confusing people, and starting to confuse her years (example, claiming to work at a place she hasn't worked at in many years). I started getting concerned and it didn't help when she was doubting the people around her that tried to help her, saying they were taking advantage and she doesn't trust them. I lived hours away from her and I tried convincing her to move with me, but she was really reluctant and she was saying she was fine. She had someone that took care of her while I wasn't there and checked up on her whenever they possibly could. My mother stopped working after her first chemotherapy because she wasn't able to remember her time or she couldn't physically go to work. They were understanding and attempted to still give her work when she could and only very few hours. She worked full time and the drastic change of only a few hours a week took a toll on my mother. She started rationing everything, cutting corners, and her first interactions started. She was saying she kept seeing her mother, who has passed for more than 20 years ago, started seeing her brother and her biological mother, who we haven't spoken to in many years. She kept saying she didn't have food when I had groceries delivered to her a day prior or saying she ate when someone else checked up on her and said she had nothing in the fridge. After saving some money, I was able to take the initiative and bring her over to my city to seek help for her and find some answers. Now, we're waiting for those answers.

There are good days and there are bad days with my mother. Sometimes, she knows where we are and who I am consciously and the next minute she starts seeing hallucinations of family members who are in my apartment when there's only two of us. Sometimes she knows who I am and the next minute or day, I'm her mother. Now, she is dependent on me and I'm not sure what I'm doing. All I know is I'm doing the best I can for her. We've had many talks and we always come to the same conclusion. As long as we're together, we can get through anything.

Of course, I'm trying to start getting everything sorted out and situated with all the available resources and her financial situations taken care of. However, I'm still working full time, while filing and calling everyone I need to talk to for my mother. I'm trying to take care of my mother as much as I can. There's only so much I can do without spreading myself extremely thin.

After telling myself I can do it myself and I got this myself, I have realized I can't do it ALL myself. There is so much going on and happening, I'm finally asking for help. All expenses will be going towards my mom's medical bills, living situation, food, and anything that needs to be taken care of for my mother.

Anything small helps and is deeply appreciated by me and my mom. It's a really difficult situation to get through but I know everything will be okay. As long as I can help her, she will be taken care of.

Thank you for reading our story and thank you for your support. I am extremely grateful for your help. I'll be posting updates regarding her situation as much as I can and when there's an update.

**Mini update: I'm barely starting everything that needs to be taken care of for my mother, such as benefits and assisted living. I'm starting the process to sell her house that she no longer can afford. I am starting to see if I can take her to an adult daycare center where she will be taken care of by trained professionals and making sure she eats and sleeps while I work. Everything is so new to me and I'm figuring it out as I go. Any helpful advice is deeply appreciated.