Help Indi get Top Surgery!
Donation protected
Hello!
Howdy! I’m Indi (they/them), I’m a nonbinary transmasculine person. I am transgender, meaning I don’t identify with the gender I was assigned at birth. I am neither a girl or a boy- I’m simply Indi!
My Journey
My journey to discovering my gender identity started during the massive COVID-19 lockdowns, as for many people this was a time of reflection. In being removed from the everyday expectations of society it became clearer for me that ‘performing’ as a woman in my day-to-day life was exhausting and not at all me, I was able to get to know myself better. Once I found the language of ‘nonbinary’ online everything clicked for me pretty quickly.
The first time I asked my friends to change their language and use gender-neutral pronouns for me was one of the most euphoric moments of my life. One of them used an example sentence as practice saying “They left their towel in the bathroom”, and my whole body felt lighter hearing myself referred to with they/them pronouns, it just felt so right. It made me realise how wrong she/her pronouns had always felt. This experience of feeling lighter in my body became more and more prevalent as I explored my gender identity. The time I went shopping and dared to try on a pair of boxers in the changing rooms for the first time, I sobbed. The flood of emotions I felt at this simple change of presentation is something I can’t describe to cis people (i.e. not trans). For the first time since I was a child, I felt the person looking back at me in the mirror was me. It was the most comfortable I had felt in my body since puberty had begun.
When I try and describe this transition to people in my life who don’t understand, I start by saying that I’m still me, still the same person they’ve always known. If anything I’m back to being that lively kid they always knew, I feel happier and freer than I have in years. For me, puberty was a horrifying time in my life, laced with trauma and confusion, and now I feel like that primary school kid who was loud and proud, and always themselves.
Why Top Surgery
In 2020 I put on a binder (a chest compression garment) for the first time, and again cried in the mirror at the person looking back at me. I put a men's shirt on over the top of it, I felt like me. It felt happy and right. But it was also deeply painful, both emotionally when I had to remove my binder at the end of the strict 8 hours, and physically as my ribs and back ached from the tight pressure a binder applies.
If you don’t understand what top surgery is, please check out this link: https://www.transhub.org.au/top-surgery
I’ve known for a long time that top surgery is something I want, I spent a lot of time trying to convince myself that it wasn’t *that* important, that that money would be better spent elsewhere, that people in my life wouldn’t be able to understand, that I couldn't put them through that. But ultimately after years of trying the reality became that this is something I want so deeply, I deserve to wake up in a body that feels like mine. I want to feel a T-shirt against my bare chest, I want to feel the ocean against my skin. I deserve to be able to look at myself in the mirror shirtless and feel happy and whole.
Under Medicare, there is no coverage for gender-affirming surgeries. This means the cost of my surgery is going to be roughly $ 20,000. A large cost to bear, but very worth it to me.
Supporting me
Next month is my birthday! The big 2 5, and to mark the occasion I’ve booked myself in for the best present I can think of - top surgery, a double mastectomy. Hoorah! If you felt so inclined I would greatly appreciate a birthday donation to assist me in covering some of the costs. I would be very appreciative of anything you have to give. Of course you do not need to donate- if you don’t have the money to spare, maybe you could share this link instead?
If you don’t ‘get it’, I know that understanding gender identity can be a journey- I would encourage you to be kind and do some googling, there are some resources below if you’d like a place to start.
Thanks for giving my lil story a read! I can’t wait to show off my designer chest to you all soon :)
Resources:
Understanding the term Non-Binary:
https://www.minus18.org.au/articles/i-just-came-out-as-non-binary-here's-what-that-means
What is top surgery:
Gender Identity:
Understanding Pronouns:
Practice using Pronouns!
Supporting Transgender Poeple:
Organizer
Indi Moran
Organizer
Hawthorn, VIC