Help Harlan to Bear Witness at Auschwitz

(Photo: Steph, Jesse, and me on their wedding day in 2015.)

On January 6, I reluctantly sat down to do New Year's intention setting with my sister and brother-in-law, Steph and Jesse Einstein. I've never been inclined toward planning or predicting, and I had no idea going into that process how it would change my perspective. We wrote out what was important to us--what we wanted to achieve in the next 3 months, year, 3 years, and in our whole lifetimes. Many powerful things emerged for me, things that I'd had in the back of my mind, for months or longer, as "someday" goals or aspirations.

One of these aspirations was to attend a Bearing Witness Retreat with the Zen Peacemakers at Auschwitz-Birkenau. 

The Auschwitz retreat is something that has called to me since I first heard of it as a resident at the Zen Center of Los Angeles (ZCLA). In our branch of Zen, we practice what are called the Three Tenets: Not Knowing, Bearing Witness, and Taking Action. We practice letting go of what we think we know about a person or situation; bearing witness, or observing and taking in what's really in front of us; and taking action that arises from these two.

Since childhood, I've been drawn to bear witness to the suffering of the Holocaust. I was always very curious about what had taken place. I read and re-read Anne Frank's diary--it felt like a conversation to me, like we were the same and I was understood. I can't entirely explain what draws me to visit Auschwitz, but my heart feels called--it knows something that I have yet to conceptualize.

I added the retreat to my "lifetime" list--I don't make a lot of money and have no savings, and I imagined that it would take years for me to be in any kind of financial situation from which to afford such an experience. I also have chronic health conditions and diet restrictions. Because it can be difficult to meet my dietary needs even in the U.S., I felt very uncertain about whether or not traveling abroad was realistic for me. 

But writing down and speaking aloud my aspirations really kicked me into gear. Three days after sitting down with Steph and Jesse, I contacted Rami Efal (Executive Director of Zen Peacemakers International) to ask whether he thought the retreat would be doable "in the next few years," given my limitations. 

Rami helped me see that the retreat may be possible for me sooner than I thought. He told me that I could bring along any food I needed, which was a relief--at some Zen retreats, eating your own food, rather than what's provided, is frowned upon. He also informed me that there are avenues through which the retreat could be financially possible. There is a limited scholarship available for the basic retreat fee--I'd need to raise as much of it as possible, and Zen Peacemakers would make up the difference. I'd also need to raise funds for travel expenses, lodging outside of the retreat week, food, and other expenses (like warm clothes--I live in LA!).

If I can raise this money by October 1, 2019, it will be possible for me to go on the retreat this year, November 4-9, 2019.

Here are the details of what I need:
$1,800--airfare to Krakow
$1,600--retreat fee
$350--care for my sweet doggo, Stanley
$250--travel-friendly food that meets my dietary needs
$200--lodging for 2-3 days before/after the retreat
$150--warm clothing/incidentals

TOTAL: $4,350

Any extra funds will be used toward my residency fees at ZCLA.

This fund-raising effort is in the form of a mala practice. A mala is a string of beads that has some spiritual significance attached to it. In this case, I'll be making a mala that represents the support of my family, friends, and community. Each donation will sponsor a bead of the mala I will assemble. I will carry this mala with me throughout the retreat as a reminder of all those who helped me get there, and a reminder that without the support of others, I am limited in what I can do.

In the time between now and the end of the retreat, I am and will be considering how to best thank those who donate. I'm open to suggestions or requests! 

Love, Harlan

More info about the Auschwitz-Birkenau retreat