Help Hanny Heal Her Brain
Hello, my name is Hanna Waters. I have created this fundraiser to ask for your assistance in funding a much needed specialized brain treatment. For the past decade, I’ve been fighting a battle invisible to even myself until a few months ago. I have been living with undiagnosed Post Concussion Syndrome as a result of multiple traumatic brain injuries sustained during my late teens and 20’s. I suffered four concussions between the ages of 15 and 25: the first two were in high school basketball. The third; I tripped over a parking median and fell straight into my face. The fourth, at 24, was the worst: I fainted and fell backwards onto a wooden deck. I lost consciousness and came to with no recollection of what had happened. After each concussion, I noticed changes in my behavior and the onset of symptoms that once didn’t exist. These symptoms became so severe that they radically altered the course of my life. Funds raised would go towards treatment in Provo, UT at the leading Post Concussion Syndrome treatment facility, Cognitive FX; transportation; lodging; and any needed continuing treatment.
My Story
I was incredibly smart and driven in high school; I was a first generation student with a full-ride to Colorado College. I wrote grants, papers, and scholarships, I was bright and motivated: a multi-sport athlete and member of the gifted and talented group. I was driven to carve out a career and a life by creative will and sheer determination. I was really happy.
I didn’t notice a lot after my first two concussions, I just noticed as an older high schooler, I felt down more often than my peers, and I had a growing discomfort with my body. But I was very happy, very driven, had tons of energy, ran sprints in the mountains each day, graduated high school, kicked ass in college, lived abroad in Italy for a year, took extracurriculars, graduated college excitedly and energetically with a 4.0. And then I hit my head for the third time on the day classes finished.
That summer, I started to get more sick and more sad. I felt more impulsive and anxious. I started talking to my family less. I was less social, I felt more anxiety around lots of people and in loud and bright places. I sought out eating disorder counseling. I made impulsive decisions in relationships. I was medicated for depression. But I pressed on, working two bartending jobs and as a mentor in the local repertory theatre.
I started to feel scared of my thoughts, thinking about death was a daily occurance. My head started to hurt. Once they thought I had Bell’s Palsy. Or maybe Occipital Neuralgia. Half of my head would feel numb and then the same half would be so painful that the wind in my hair was painful. More headaches. But I could still hold down a 10 hour work day, six days a week, and I pursued my dreams: applying and being accepted to a post-baccalaureate program in Minneapolis for artists. And then I fainted, and hit my head for the fourth time. Really bad. I could barely function for a week after that incident. I still moved to Minneapolis a few weeks later and my life fell apart.
In the subsequent four months, my mental and physical health degraded to the lowest point of my life. I developed severe TMD in my jaw, almost overnight. Chronic daily migraines. When it wasn’t a migraine, it was a terrible headache. All day. Intermittent numbness in my face and head; terrible face pain. Severe depression, severe anxiety, severe suicidal ideation. Nausea, dizziness, irritability. Taking advantage of my health insurance, I saw a neurologist, had a sleep study, consulted with a pain doctor, had MRI’s and CT scans. But no doctor, specialist, or test indicated that my concussions were the root cause. I would detail my head trauma for every doctor, hoping that they would say, yes, of course it’s your concussions. But no one did: my brain was “okay.” I was written off time after time. I knew inside, especially after the fourth concussion, that everything had changed. No one placed enough weight in a single instance, or multiple single instances, creating a decade of suffering; mental and physical symptoms that radically altered my life and my perception of myself.
As a result, I was proclaimed mentally ill, and diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder, severe depression, and anxiety disorder. I was hospitalized in a psychiatric unit at one point. I was heavily medicated on painkillers, SSRI’s, SNRI’s, and anti-psychotics for almost a decade. I attended treatment for these issues for almost five years.
I excelled in treatment and was an eager patient. After graduating from all of my programs and relocating to Texas, the symptoms didn’t stop. I was far more equipped to handle the symptoms given my mental health treatment, but all of the debilitating emotional, physical, and cognitive issues continued on nonetheless. My quality of life remains low. Work is really hard. I have retreated from many things I love because every day is overshadowed by difficult pain and stimulus management.
It was Thanksgiving Day 2020, after sobbing in the shower because my head hurt so bad, my hope eclipsed by depression, that I decided to google “post concussion headaches.” I didn’t know where to start to figure out what was wrong with me, again. I had tried. I was tired and wasn’t really caring anymore. I didn’t really want to wake up every day. I didn’t want another MRI and someone telling me my brain was okay, and maybe I needed more therapy— you’re just mentally ill. But after ten plus years of medication and searching and failing, I still knew inside it still all had to be connected to my concussions. So I googled, and there it was: Post Concussion Syndrome. A syndrome and a complete list of symptoms that I had never read all on one page, every single one having come on and been exacerbated after each concussion. So I went back to my search, and then next option was “Cognitive Fx: A Post Concussion Syndrome Treatment Program.”
Cognitive FX is located Provo, UT. People like Tom Brady have been treated at their facility. They are the leading treatment facility for PCS and concussions in the world. They give people like me their lives back. Their groundbreaking EPIC treatment starts with a special MRI called an fNCI, to locate exactly what areas of the brain are injured and where the NVC (neuro vascular coupling, or the connection between the brain and the blood in the brain) is working incorrectly. After pinpointing the injuries and the subsequent faulty NVC, they create a targeted treatment just for my brain. I will complete full days of specialized treatments with a variety of specialists to stimulate the injured areas of my brain. When I am finished, I get another fNCI to concretely see how much my brain has healed. My brain will continue to heal after treatment, too; in the weeks following patients see up to 80-90% alleviation of all mental, physical, cognitive, and sleep issues.
I feel so overjoyed and blessed that a place like Cognitive FX exists. Watching patient story after patient story is very validating and exciting— it’s still mind blowing to hear that people have suffered like me and recovered. Many of those patients have a story like mine. I had my first appointment with one of the neurologists and it was... the best day ever. She confirmed my multiple injuries, PCS, and battery of symptoms. She thinks I’m an excellent candidate for treatment, and the first day of my EPIC treatment is scheduled for March 8th!
Hey, if you made it this far— thank you for taking the time to read my story. I created this fundraiser because I cannot make it to EPIC treatment at Cognitive FX on my own. I am asking for your help in making healing my brain a reality. This treatment, without a doubt, will change my life. PCS is serious and wont improve or go away without treatment. The money would fund EPIC treatment and all that it entails; lodging, food, and transportation. My gratitude for your help is endless and lifelong. I can’t wait to be Hanna again, and to help others who may be fighting an invisible battle too. I am passionate about bringing more awareness and literacy to concussion complications and a miserable invisible battle that plagues more folks than we know. Thank you, thank you for loving me, and thank you for contributing to my healing in any shape or form. Together we heal.
Learn more about Cognitive FX here:
They have an abundance of education on their website about concussions, traumatic brain injury, Post Concussive Syndrome, and their approach to treatment.
Watch these testimonials: