Help Hali Transition from a Distressing Job

Hello, my name is Hali.

I recently took a job that I thought I would enjoy; working with laboratory animals. However, there was a caveat that is taking a very significant emotional toll on me, and that is euthanasia of animals.

Some days, I have to euthanize fifty to a hundred animals. I will not get into the process but it is not easy. It is taking a drastic toll on my mental health, and I am not sure how much longer I am going to be able to do it.

I have been frantically applying for jobs, to no avail. I apply for maybe ten a day. There are no sufficient jobs in the University I work in because they are all part time.

Euthanizing animals makes me feel like a bad person. It fills me with dread, and I have to do it frequently. I would quit but I have barely any savings to fall back on. It's my fault for taking this job. It was not made very transparent the sheer extent to which I would have to euthanize animals, which is not my employers fault. I love animals and care for them too much to continue this.

I am asking for some money to live for the next few months while I find employment in a new field, or a similar one within the same company that focuses less on laboratory mammals. I have bills to pay, rent to pay, and a bunch of other expenses.

I would not be doing this if I did not really need help. I am afraid that continuing to do this is going to have a serious impact on my mind. If you can find it in your heart to help me, I would be very grateful.

Thank you for reading.

Hali