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If you are reading this, please know that I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to read this. For those of you who know me, you know that I am a very private person who rarely posts on social media, let alone asks for help on a public scale. Lately, I have been avoiding social media and just about all other forms of communication because I am recovering from the aftermath of an extremely abusive relationship. This individual is no longer in my life, but I continue to deal with the physical, emotional, financial, and spiritual scars left behind from that time.
For those of you who remember, all of my social media accounts were hacked and extremely embarrassing and untrue posts were made as if I had written them. This person even went so far as to send inappropriate messages to some of you pretending to be me. So, to all of you who have reached out and either expressed concern for me, even though I was unable to thank you at the time, I am now expressing my gratitude to all of you.
I am now at a point in my life where I have grieved and wallowed enough. After my abuser was arrested, my health took a turn for the worse. I contracted MRSA and although I was no longer physically harmed, my body began to shut down. As a result, I have ulcers on both legs that refuse to heal, leaving me barely able to walk, and an ulcer in my left eye that has left me completely blind on that side. As a means of self-medicating and dealing with the chronic pain, I have turned to substances that once served me, but have proven to aggravate my conditions and lead to isolation and further destruction in my life. It is time for me to go into detox and treatment to reclaim my life and become the daughter, cousin, friend, pet mom, partner, peer, co-worker, goofball, artist, runner, writer, and strong woman that you all have known at one time or another. I have been through too much to let substances or the aftermath of an abuser get me down.
I cannot do this alone. As much as I have hated asking for help in the past, seeing it as a sign of weakness, realize how wrong I was. Those who are able to humbly ask for help from those around them demonstrate courage. I recognize that strength lies in vulnerability and teachability, the ability to listen and the ability to admit that I was wrong. It also means letting go of my strategically placed defenses to allow others to get close enough to lighten some of the burden that continues to hold me back.
So what does help look like right now? I am in the process of raising money to cover the costs that insurance will not cover for my detox and residential treatment. I also face the challenge of not knowing what to do with my best friend and baby Bear while I am gone. If you or anyone you know would be willing to foster an adorable, energetic, extremely loyal, loving, hilariously fiery Australian Cattledog mix who is almost one year old, please let me know. You are welcome to come and meet him to see if it would be a good fit at any time. Alternatively, this fund would be used to either place Baby Bear in a boarding kennel or cover the cost of a dog sitter for about 1 month (possibly more). This guy is truly the love of my life and has gotten me through my most difficult moments, it would mean the world to me to know that he is safe and loved while I go through the difficult detox process. He gives me a reason to fight, so any amount you can spare will truly help save both my life and his.
I realize that I am very verbose, so thank you if you have made it this far. Lately life has been very challenging for me and I usually retreat inward, which manifests itself in self-destructive tendencies. So today I choose to do something different and let you all in on my struggle, but also share my hope and gratitude. I humbly ask for your help, any amount will go towards my fight for recovery, health and forgiveness. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, I will be sure to keep you all updated on my journey.
For those of you who remember, all of my social media accounts were hacked and extremely embarrassing and untrue posts were made as if I had written them. This person even went so far as to send inappropriate messages to some of you pretending to be me. So, to all of you who have reached out and either expressed concern for me, even though I was unable to thank you at the time, I am now expressing my gratitude to all of you.
I am now at a point in my life where I have grieved and wallowed enough. After my abuser was arrested, my health took a turn for the worse. I contracted MRSA and although I was no longer physically harmed, my body began to shut down. As a result, I have ulcers on both legs that refuse to heal, leaving me barely able to walk, and an ulcer in my left eye that has left me completely blind on that side. As a means of self-medicating and dealing with the chronic pain, I have turned to substances that once served me, but have proven to aggravate my conditions and lead to isolation and further destruction in my life. It is time for me to go into detox and treatment to reclaim my life and become the daughter, cousin, friend, pet mom, partner, peer, co-worker, goofball, artist, runner, writer, and strong woman that you all have known at one time or another. I have been through too much to let substances or the aftermath of an abuser get me down.
I cannot do this alone. As much as I have hated asking for help in the past, seeing it as a sign of weakness, realize how wrong I was. Those who are able to humbly ask for help from those around them demonstrate courage. I recognize that strength lies in vulnerability and teachability, the ability to listen and the ability to admit that I was wrong. It also means letting go of my strategically placed defenses to allow others to get close enough to lighten some of the burden that continues to hold me back.
So what does help look like right now? I am in the process of raising money to cover the costs that insurance will not cover for my detox and residential treatment. I also face the challenge of not knowing what to do with my best friend and baby Bear while I am gone. If you or anyone you know would be willing to foster an adorable, energetic, extremely loyal, loving, hilariously fiery Australian Cattledog mix who is almost one year old, please let me know. You are welcome to come and meet him to see if it would be a good fit at any time. Alternatively, this fund would be used to either place Baby Bear in a boarding kennel or cover the cost of a dog sitter for about 1 month (possibly more). This guy is truly the love of my life and has gotten me through my most difficult moments, it would mean the world to me to know that he is safe and loved while I go through the difficult detox process. He gives me a reason to fight, so any amount you can spare will truly help save both my life and his.
I realize that I am very verbose, so thank you if you have made it this far. Lately life has been very challenging for me and I usually retreat inward, which manifests itself in self-destructive tendencies. So today I choose to do something different and let you all in on my struggle, but also share my hope and gratitude. I humbly ask for your help, any amount will go towards my fight for recovery, health and forgiveness. Thank you for taking the time to listen to me, I will be sure to keep you all updated on my journey.