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help fund toby's top surgery!

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howdy! i'm toby.

as of today (05/05/24), i am an 18-year-old transgender man. i would like help funding expenses towards my top surgery to help relieve my chest dysphoria.

the funding will go towards:
  • two letters of referral for surgery (£600)
  • two consultations with my surgeon (£200)
  • my top surgery itself! (£8,265)
  • total: £9,065

i am in a lucky position to have the financial support of my parents & also being able to seek work, so any other costs like hotels or travelling will be covered by myself or with assistance from my parents. all of the funding from this fundraiser will go towards medical expenses.

"my story", if you will, for why i'm deciding on surgery:
i have been a man since i was born, but i was born & socialised as a female. i have been known to be transgender since i was four, & have been out as trans since i was twelve.

i have been out as a transmasculine person since i was thirteen. at no point in this has been a "phase" or have i been truly uncertain that i wasn't a girl. i knew that i wasn't a girl before i knew what being transgender meant. i've certainly questioned what labels i use for myself, & those labels have changed as i've learnt more about myself, but none of that has been a "phase" of being transgender. i have been & i am transgender. i am not a girl, i am a man. what i do with my body is my decision & guided by professionals who want what is best for me, & nobody else but me. this is my journey as one trans person that doesn't speak for every single trans person.

my dysphoria with my chest prevents me from wearing form-fitting t-shirts that can show off my shape & prevent me from passing as a male; it's uncomfortable for me to wear a t-shirt outside without a binder to flatten my chest or without a jumper over a t-shirt to cover my body.

as much as i am able to bind comfortably & safely, it isn't good for me long-term. binders aren't meant to be worn daily for full entire days of walking around & then sitting for hours without pause, & these can get worse with long college days. sure, there are other binding options like transtape, or sports bras, but both of these options are uncomfortable: i personally cannot handle the sensory sensation of tape on my body & the mere idea of wearing something called a bra makes me dysphoric & uncomfortable.

i want to be able to wear t-shirts without a reminder that i am not truly a man, as my t-shirt bunches over my chest & sticks out. i want to go outside sans a binder & do some light exercise or walk to college without worrying about breaking my ribs. i want to be able to step into the shower without having to stop in the mirror to stare at myself & think 'huh, that's me, i guess'; i want certainty that i am me. i want to be able to go to the beach or go swimming without wearing a t-shirt & a pair of swimming trunks because i can't wear a bathing suit. hell, i'd love to just be able to use a towel on just the lower half of my body when we're out of large towels, because i don't have to worry about seeing my tits or anyone else seeing them. i'd simply like to exist without the confines of dysphoria & t-shirts.

if you can donate anything at all, it'd be greatly appreciated. if you can't, that is also completely fine - follow aristotle's virtue ethics of supporting yourself before others if you aren't in the position to help. a simple share of this fundraiser will be support enough.

thank you!
toby
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Donations (3)

  • Abi Mercer
    • £5 
    • 3 mos
  • Anonymous
    • £10 
    • 3 mos
  • Anonymous
    • £20 
    • 3 mos
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Organizer

Toby G
Organizer
England

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