**My Decision**
This decision has weighed heavily on my heart for months. I've sought guidance through prayer, asking God for the wisdom to navigate these challenging times. After much reflection and discussions with a trusted advisor, I’ve come to a point where I must reach out for help. It’s not in my nature to ask for assistance, and I feel an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and guilt for not being able to find my way through this on my own. For most of my adult life, I have worked tirelessly to support myself and my dear son, and this moment feels like a significant departure from that.
**My Life**
I grew up in a home where the value of charity was instilled in us from a young age. Despite being considered lower-income, we were unaware of our financial struggles. My mother, who left this world far too soon when I was just 28, taught us the importance of kindness and service to others. She sacrificed everything for her six children, ensuring that even with very little, we celebrated holidays filled with gifts, love and joy. Easter and Christmas were magical, not defined by the number of gifts but by the warmth of family, the true reason for the season along with spirit of giving. My parents, though not regular churchgoers, made sure we understood the significance of these celebrations, dressing us in our Sunday best and sending us to church, where we learned values that have shaped my life.
**Who Am I?**
For those who may not know me, I am an ardent animal lover with a deep-seated belief in compassion for all living beings. I cannot bear to hear stories of abuse or neglect, and they haunt me long after I’ve heard them. I also believe in the power of giving—what you put into the world will come back to you in ways you can’t imagine. One of my favorite quotes by Anne Frank resonates deeply with me: “No one has ever become poor by giving.” I strive to live by these principles, and I try not to judge others for their choices as long as they do not harm others.
**My Expectations**
I don’t have expectations for this fundraiser. My social media reach is limited, and I understand that people have their own burdens to bear. Some may even judge me for reaching out. That’s okay. My advisor reminded me that God knows my heart, and I can leave this post up for a while with hope that it may reach someone willing to share or help, even if it takes time to gather support. My son has helped me a great deal but it has taken a toll on him and his own family.
**The Heart of the Matter**
Despite my commitment to helping others, I have not always made wise decisions regarding my own resources. In 2023, I lent my car out frequently, which led to an engine failure that cost me over $5,000. I thought I had learned my lesson, but in Spring 2024, I lent that same cherished 2009 vehicle (only 43,000 miles on it) to someone I trusted. Unfortunately, she suffered a seizure while driving, resulting in my car being totaled. (She was ok) Due to its age, I couldn’t afford full coverage, and this person has since walked out of my life, leaving me without transportation and burdened with expenses I cannot manage.
Shortly after losing my car, the bridge that holds my front tooth crowns broke and was deemed unfixable—a replacement would cost $4,000, a sum I simply do not have. In August 2024, my apartment management raised my rent by $200/mo, followed by another increase of $120/mo in 2025, further straining my already tight finances.
I also faced significant health challenges. Early in 2024, I began experiencing severe foot problems, and after visits to specialists, I was diagnosed with Charcot foot.
- CHARCOT (pronounced sharko) is a serious and severe deformation of weakened foot bones, and Neuropathy. Impaired circulation prevents bones in the feet from receiving nutrients needed to maintain strength. The tremendous forces applied to a foot as we walk can then lead to problems with fractures. These injuries are further worsened by the patient’s lack of sensitivity from neuropathy, and often patients are not aware there is a problem. Further, normal activity on an injured foot leads to additional damage and can culminate in a severely misshapen foot. One percent of people develop Charcot.
This led to reconstructive foot surgery in September 2024, and 6 weeks of hospital and residential rehab stays, which left me unable to move around my apartment for months, relying on my local fire fighters to bring me into my home after my hospital and rehab stays. I now face mounting medical expenses, including prescriptions, medical supplies, and transportation to doctor appointments.
A church helped me with rent once, but I have been caught in a cycle of paying my current rent with my next month’s Social Security benefits, leading to late fees and eviction notices—despite my long history of timely payments. Management has been unsympathetic, insisting on legal actions that only add to my burdens.
Finally, I lost my iPhone on Christmas night 2024 while sleeping in my recliner. Despite efforts to locate it, it vanished. I had to spend $500 to replace it and regain access to the outside world, a cost I never anticipated.
Asking for help is not easy for me, but I find myself at a crossroads where the weight of my circumstances feels too heavy to bear alone. If you can find it in your heart to help, I would be eternally grateful. Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Just sharing it would be a great help.